Hello!

I'm a level 41 Nord and I've been putting about 125 hours into the game.
I made a huge mistake deciding to destroy the dark brotherhood instead of joining it, because I wanted to play as a good guy.

I'm a perfectionist when playing games, especially those including the ability to choose.For instance: if I receive a negative answer when speaking to an npc, after clicking the ''wrong'' text line, I have to go back to my last save and restart the entire procedure speaking to that npc. If I don't do this, I will feel anxious.

As the dawnguard dlc was released for PC I downloaded it and started the dlc on the vampire side, as I had heard that the bad side was the more interesting one. What I then figured, was that I had broke my ''good guy'' embracement which broke the ''shield'' I had set up protecting me from feeling anxious destroying DB instead of joining it.

The save files before I destroyed it are all deleted/overwritten..
I even installed a program called Shadowexplorer, but it can't find save files old enough to go back before I destroyed the dark brotherhood.
The only option I see is to restart the game awhole, but that would leave me anxious about not being my ''old and real'' guy.
A 125 hour replay is also quite harsh.

I feel helpless. I don't know how to solve my problem, and don't feel like continuing playing skyrim until I have solved it.
If you would give me any advice I would greatly appreciate it.

Perhaps there could be a mood restoring old saves or game content?
Maybe you could help me trying to give me as many negatives as possible by joining DB?

You could say ''duh, it's just a game'', but this game means very much to me. As you know, it's very deep and I feel ''bound'' to the nord I play as.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks

lol, as a real life sufferer of OCD, I have to say you should ingore the compulsion to re-do the vampire dlc or try and justify going the vampire route. Just go the vampire route as you had originally started it.

Just thank the nine you aren't worrying about stuff IRL.

Seriously, play through the quest as you had started, it will be better for you in the long run then worrying about the "perfection" of your game. Actually trying to restore your game tells your brain that it is a good thing to try and be obsessively perfectionist, thats only gonna make you hate skyrim in the end.

if you have a save from before starting dawnguard, you could revert to that. i dont think there's much difference in the mq of each, other than the fact 1 side are vampires and 1 side hunt them. most the quests are the same i think

Thanks for the advice. Though it's the dark brotherhood I feel like I have to redo.

I didn't know negativity was the opposite of perfection? A negative remark from an npc is just another part of the story...

don't do that either. don't re-do anything just keep playing, you will eventually get over it. If you re-do the game, however, you will never stop worrying.

Yeah, I guess you are right.. I will try to do so and then tell you how it worked

[spoiler alert] start over again or you miss out on 3 huge things from that DB hello best horse ever Shadowmere, the cool dagger, and yes 20,000.... Hell I would kill and give up being the hero just for that horse Shadowmere.... She saves my newly started characters butt on a daily bases, ,lol....