Huh dee doo dum dee dee deeee... poison him while he's sleeping ... hoo, see how he likes that. Dum dee do dee dee dee dee ...


Oh my god Beth. Oh... my god. I've been playing Skyrim for over 600 hours and I just now heard a bandit humming that little ... thing. He was singing to himself while I stalked him from the corridor.

Just hilarious. I've never seen so much personality in a video game before. Some of the stupid comments that bandits and mercenaries say to themselves when they think they are alone is just hysterical.

Just for fun, do the thieves guild quests. At some point you have to break into a certain someone's house to find their plans for a certain thing. You'll know the time. There's a bandit upstairs, a nord, that's a former skooma addict. He has the most hilarious things to say if he doesn't know you are right behind him with a knife.

That's pretty awesome.

It's also quite entertaining listening to them talk to each other as well, but this is usually specific times like during quests or just entering a place where there are a few of them that have specific lines between each other. They don't last long, but it's still fun to listen to.

" La, La, La, ORG, Log, La, La , Lar" - Singing Orc Bandit

"What..the....mmmmm....AGHHHH" -Singing Orc Bandit getting his throat slit

Mead, mead, mead... Kill 'em to get some beer every now and then? Stupid bees and their stupid honey..." My favorite bandit line.

Yes, lol. I'm always a bit disappointed if I sneak into a bandit lair and do not get to hear someone muttering the "stupid bees" line to himself.

Another one that always catches my attention is "gonna start keeping a knife in my boot" or something like that.

Edit: I don't think it's dialogue but isn't there one bandit lair where you find their cook's journal and it's full of complaints about all they want is MEAT! MEAT! MEAT! or something? I think I've only picked it up and read it once, but it cracked me up.

Also there's http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Skyrim:Complaint_Letter you can find in Fort Greymoor, written by the housekeeper who is mad as hell and not gonna take it any more.

"A pair of 3s? What was he thinking? Idiot didn't even see me pull the Ace out of my boot"

Yes! That's the one I heard in the thieves guild quest. So funny.

Oddly, that's the one I hear most frequently. That and the singing orc.

I love the things bandits say to themselves, it's one of the reasons I prefer to play sneak based characters.