Im current looking for mod that is player home but i need some things that most i looked at dont have.

1. I want it to be big like a castle or giant and sort of a lair
2. To allow my followers there and i have alot of them.
3. Lots of crafting

Search the Nexus with the keyword "King"; I think there was an actual castle mod called "King of" something or other that was pretty damn big. I'd look it up for you but I'm posting from my phone.

How about Castle Strunmah?
http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/mods/13236

How about DovKroniid Redoubt? (See sig line).
The quest line is still being worked on but the fortress and Manor House are done.
Big, but not too big.
Lore and follower friendly. LOTS of crafting.

If you want more guards, DL a separate mod, Mercenaries, and use them to staff the place.

http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/mods/20614/

Umm im wondering how to get my followers to stay in the house or place. I dont want them going back to normal place when u dissmess them i want them in my player home.

Try this http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/mods/14037

Thanks but how does it work. Im to lazy to read it all. I just want know how get them stay in new area.

Just install it and talk to them then you'll get these options:

You know... (a dialogue branch containing various options depending on NPC you are interacting with)
--You are important./Everyone dies... (Set follower essential so that it takes damage, but only goes down on one knee or mortal. Mortal = can be killed and does not regenerate hp)
--You could dress better. (Enables full control of inventory to equip follower as you please using regular trade)
--Relax for a while./Time to go. (Follower stay on the location doing various things. If set to mortal, relaxing regenerates health as of 1.1b)
--In combat mistakes happen. Forgive and forget./Anyone hurts you, make them pay.(Set follower to react/ignore friendly hits by player)
--You are naked... (Makes a naked follower dress)
--Speaking of magic... (a branch containing dialogue concerning magic)
----Study that book, you will find it useful. (Make follower use a spell tome from inventory to learn a spell[vanilla])
----Forget you ever knew magic. It is a vile art. (Make follower forget learned spells)
--I need your help./You are dismissed. (Recruit/dismiss guards from party. Requires you be a Thane and have a houscarl with you)
--Nothing, sorry. (End conversation.)
So what are you good at? (Will display follower statistics with current equipment bonuses)
c)Train some, you are weak... (Will level up follower statistics to match current level)

The relax for a while will prob be the one you want

garrets castle. Does have compatiblity issues but once you see it you'll know it's the BEST

Here you go: http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/mods/20614 Haven't tried it myself, but it's supposed to be pretty big.