I understand that she will come back to her spawn point after some time following a message that she grows tired of waiting. Well I'm tired of waiting for her. How long before I get that message or, alternatively, how can I force her to abandon me? I wanted to pick up another quest with a follower and he says "You've already got someone following you".

You could fast travel to a few places to back track where your companion is


or take the time to explore more new stuff

That's what I'm doing now, just exploring new stuff and ignoring the problem. But it bugs the OCD in me that I can't find her to get rid of her.

Anyone aware of any way to find your follower?

Nope, I am still looking around and trying to find something.

maybe eventually I xan get a response that will help others with this issue.

If I knew of a command for the console (if it exists) to target or get the id of the person who is supposed to be your follower I could work something out from that.