Need some advice about a girl

Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 4:46 am

This is probably not the greatest forum to ask but I'm not really a member of too many forums so I hope I can get some good advice. Anyway, last night I went out drinking with some friends at the pub, and I met this girl there. She is 27 and I'm 20. By the time I met her I was already extremely hammered so I don't really remember much on how I started talking to her or anything like that. Anyway, I left the friends at the pub and took her to the club where we spent some time and then after that I convinced her to come to my apartment so we took the bus over there. Anyway, In my drunken state of mind I felt that there was something special about this girl and I didn't want to have six the first time I met her and potentially ruin something better, so we basically just messed around a bit and that was it. But now that I am sober the next day I don't think there is anything right for me about this girl and I just feel weird about the whole thing. I think she is too old and has a 3 year old kid which makes everything a little unusual for me. But she seems to like me a lot and has been texting me all day and I just not sure what to do. Should I see if there is anything special with her or just break it off?
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Jeffrey Lawson
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 7:38 am

Edit: Nevermind me...
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Hannah Barnard
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 1:52 pm

JAHO
Not that kind of question.
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Catharine Krupinski
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 4:03 am

If you don't like her, end it - simple as.

You can't really say you don't like her till you've given her a fair try though, but be careful not to lead her on.
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Harry-James Payne
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 6:22 am

Age is just a number, really. The kid is a huge red flag in my books. I think it's smart that you want to make a decision now, because if you feel it was just a fling, end it now. If you feel there is something there, go ahead and get to know her, but acknowledge that it could be considered leading her on just for the sake of getting to know her and judging whether or not to move things forward. Ideally, make these decisions beforehand. I know it was all a spur of the moment thing, but try and use a little tact and finding out stuff like this before getting with her. Even if you've decided that it was just a fling beforehand, that's fine too.

Technically, since you haven't slept with her, you're kinda in the clear, so you could just ask her not to move along so fast and slow it down. Basically, what you're asking us is "Do I like this girl?" and you're the only one who can answer that. Think to yourself, is she worth the risk and responsibility that comes with her? If you don't know that yet, play it safe and find out. But don't prolong it.
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Isaac Saetern
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 1:39 pm

Perhaps meet her when you both are sober, just to find out if things still are as you remember them and if you still get the same
vibe from her? And also to find out more of how things are in her life?

Think carefully before you decide. You don't know much about her personal situation. I had some warning bells go off in my head
just from what you've written, so if you're wanting to try it out and see what happens..... be careful, and certainly don't be hammered
if you choose to meet her next time.
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cassy
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 3:31 am

The only thing that's really holding me back is the whole kid thing. Her priority is going to be the taking care of her son and I feel like my priorities in life right now are so different that it probably won't work but I'm not sure.
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Kat Lehmann
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 2:19 am

The only thing that's really holding me back is the whole kid thing. Her priority is going to be the taking care of her son and I feel like my priorities in life right now are so different that it probably won't work but I'm not sure.
Then it probably won't work. Not because the child isn't yours, but you have different goals and outlook right now from her which probably conflict.

As others have said, nothing happened, so if you were to end it, do it NOW! Collateral damage will be minimal, and she won't be lead on.

And as others have said, warning flags were raised, them being she has a kid, is a single 27 year old still clubbing with a kid, and there's a good 7 years difference between you.
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Far'ed K.G.h.m
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 8:00 am

I feel like you've answered your own question and you're looking for a reason to go against your gut ;)
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Julie Serebrekoff
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 10:23 am

[censored] her
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Neliel Kudoh
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 12:59 am

The only thing that's really holding me back is the whole kid thing. Her priority is going to be the taking care of her son and I feel like my priorities in life right now are so different that it probably won't work but I'm not sure.

Again, it's not something we can answer. You have to decide if she's worth it. If it was me, I'd keep it a fling (though if it was me, I'd never get into a mess like that in the first place). I don't mind age, but she has a kid... Hey, it could grow into something beautiful, but it isn't uncommon for a single mother to fall all over any guy who is half interested in her simply because she wants a father figure for her child. The situation can become quite desperate for them, so bear that in mind as well.
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le GraiN
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 9:05 am

I feel like you've answered your own question and you're looking for a reason to go against your gut :wink:

I think it's not his gut he's going against.... if you know what I mean. ;)
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Charity Hughes
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 8:34 am

I think it's not his gut he's going against.... if you know what I mean. :wink:

I think we all know what you mean :P
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Portions
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 2:15 am

If you're not sure because she's got a kid.....well there's your answer. :shrug:

Lots of guys would be put off by the fact she's got a child - it's pretty understandable really. Not exactly like you're saying 'I don't like her hair' or 'she doesn't earn enough for me'. You guys are obviously in different places and, unless you're just looking for a boinking (and she is...), then it's probably best it doesn't go anywhere.
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emily grieve
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 2:03 pm

I think I actually prefer a girl a little older then me like in her late 20's because I feel like she would be more mature then a girl my age, and maybe that's why I thought it was so great last night but I keep thinking it was just the alcohol doing all the thinking.
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Sierra Ritsuka
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 6:06 am

I think I actually prefer a girl a little older then me like in her late 20's because I feel like she would be more mature then a girl my age, and maybe that's why I thought it was so great last night but I keep thinking it was just the alcohol doing all the thinking.

I already said that age isn't the issue. And if you're sober now and feel that it was just the alcohol doing the thinking, I don't think you even have much else to wonder about.
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(G-yen)
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 7:25 am

You're basically telling us what you're supposed to tell her (like most of the other people who make this kind of threads): I may be interested in you (basic condition, isn't it) and don't mind your age, but I can't be a father for your kid and my priorities will lie elsewhere for the next few years (I assume education or such). Then note how she reacts and that tells you all you need to know before deciding. Though I get the idea you've decided already.
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ShOrty
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 3:07 am

[censored] her


This. Also,

JOAH?
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..xX Vin Xx..
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 10:02 am

I think I actually prefer a girl a little older then me like in her late 20's because I feel like she would be more mature then a girl my age, and maybe that's why I thought it was so great last night but I keep thinking it was just the alcohol doing all the thinking.
Older? That's fine. More mature? I dunno about that. May require some getting to know her, but I wouldn't go there in my shoes.
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TRIsha FEnnesse
 
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Post » Sun Oct 07, 2012 10:38 pm

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This is probably not the greatest forum to ask but I'm not really a member of too many forums so I hope I can get some good advice. Anyway, last night I went out drinking with some friends at the pub, and I met this girl there. She is 27 and I'm 20. By the time I met her I was already extremely hammered so I don't really remember much on how I started talking to her or anything like that. Anyway, I left the friends at the pub and took her to the club where we spent some time and then after that I convinced her to come to my apartment so we took the bus over there. Anyway, In my drunken state of mind I felt that there was something special about this girl and I didn't want to have six the first time I met her and potentially ruin something better, so we basically just messed around a bit and that was it. But now that I am sober the next day I don't think there is anything right for me about this girl and I just feel weird about the whole thing. I think she is too old and has a 3 year old kid which makes everything a little unusual for me. But she seems to like me a lot and has been texting me all day and I just not sure what to do. Should I see if there is anything special with her or just break it off?

There's nothing wrong with getting to know the girl in question; but you gotta tell her how it is otherwise you could end up leading her on which won't work out in the end for either of you. Good luck. It's a tough situation.
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Tammie Flint
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 7:50 am

I appreciate the advice from everyone, I think I'm gonna just cut it off now when I'm still in the clear as has been said.
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FLYBOYLEAK
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 12:13 am

Wow . . . some of these comments. Some of these comments! :rolleyes:

Asking this question in a general RPG forum from Bethesda almost never yields good help.
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Noraima Vega
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 11:37 am

I think I actually prefer a girl a little older then me like in her late 20's because I feel like she would be more mature then a girl my age, and maybe that's why I thought it was so great last night but I keep thinking it was just the alcohol doing all the thinking.
There's nothing stopping you becoming friends with her? Meet with her for some coffee, find out how accurate your drunken assumptions were whilst you're sober and see how you feel from there. I'm surprised that you say you like older girls. It's usually the other way around because girls are normally more mature than guys.
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Nathan Barker
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 12:39 pm

Wow . . . some of these comments. Some of these comments! :rolleyes:

Asking this question in a general RPG forum from Bethesda almost never yields good help.
Alright,what advice do you have to give?
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keri seymour
 
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Post » Mon Oct 08, 2012 2:32 am

some of these comments. Some of these comments!

I hope you're not trying to mock me. I don't appreciate things like that, even if they aren't directly hostile.
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Kim Kay
 
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