Okay. I have a driving phobia... Pretty bad I guess. I simply will end up passing out if you put me into the driver seat of a car basicly... Anyways, so I'm stuck living with someone who is willing to help me out and currently, I have two choices.

1. Stay where I am right now with my mother in the country.

2. Move up into the city with my father.

Now here's the things though...

With my mother, I'm in the country and there's like 5 of those oil things within sight from my house... Also, any job that I may want are basicly an hour away... However, I am more comfortable here cause at least I do have computer and be able to do computer things I want to do plus my mother promised me that we'll go out and get a new family computer and a new computer for myself, eventually though... Thing is, she has "other things" to do apparently. She also promised to get rid of dial-up and find a better internet connection so I can maybe find a career related to my interest and doable from home... But I do feel like she just wants me here as a helper cause I think she wants me to do certain things for her, except for things she knows I'll fail at (Like dishes? I am terrible at washing dishes XD)... You know? Oh and I feel quite alone... No one to hang out since everybody I like to hang out lives hours away...

Now with my father... I'll be in the city but probably a bit uncomfortable. My father is the unlucky one of my two parents and he is currently struggling even with a landscaping job where he works 6am to 6pm Mon-Sat... Though the plan is he'll get a 3 room apartment. 1 room for him and his 2nd wife, 1 room for his work-buddy (Who is an extremely cool person to hang out with) and his 'girlfriend' (Who is actually my cousin) and last room being for me. The idea is everybody pretty much pitches in with rent... I'm gonna be the one paying for internet and such since I'm the only one who needs it though, and that's only if I make money on my own to get my own computer. However, this hadn't happened quite yet and if I do move in with my father, I'm waiting for this to happen first cause currently, my father is renting a room from his brother (Who is a completely greedy piece of crap ***hole, not being mean... Being truthful and serious here)... Though good things about being with my father is I'll be away from all the oil crap and traffic. I'll be mins away from any possible job I may want (GameStops, Best Buys, etc stuff like that), and I'll be able to actually hang out with some people...

But ye'h anyways... Thoughts? Hate? Whatever!

If you hate driving, the city is the best place to be. So I say go with your dad

ALso, does your phobia also cover bicycling or just riding in a bus? If you live in a city, bicycling or riding a bus can get you pretty much anywhere and greatly increase your traveling distance.

It's also impossible to be terrible at washing dishes, unless you don't put in any effort because you just don't want to.

Well ultimately only you can decide what's right for you.

For living in the country, would it be possible to catch a bus into the place with the jobs? Still, an hour commute is long each way.

Personally, the city sounds like the better deal. You might be uncomfortable at first, but you'll grow used to it (and perhaps even grow to love it!). You won't be lonely, and have better chances of getting a job. That you're the only one that uses Internet is weird?? I don't know where you live, but my Internet costs ￡3.25 a month... I can't imagine it's too much dearer elsewhere in the world (mine is a deal with a phone line also, so I imagine Internet would possibly go up to ￡15/pm, which is still relatively good price).

I think change is good for everyone, but if you disliked the city you could always move back (?).
But again.. You need to do what's best for you!

Yeah. I'm somewhat phobic about driving but for years I just ignored it and consequently spent much of my time unnecessarily stressed, which isn't really a good way to live one's life in either the short or long term. As ruthless as it sounds, do whatever's most expedient.

I don't know how to ride a bike... I've always been a scooter-boy, and I can ride in any ground vehicle just fine. (Never been in a plane so can't say much about air travel).

Prolly because I don't want to... I get sick at some dishes and argh... One time back when I did dishes with my sister, I did threw up once...

Well. My mother uses it for ebay and other stuff but with my father, nah... My father doesn't care for the internet at all... I don't think he even knows how to login actually XD.

If you don't want to drive a car, you don't want to live in the country.

Move to the city.

Is your father waiting for a decision from you before he does this, tho? Or is it something he's going to do regardless (get a three bedroom apt) .

At any rate, I'd vote for the city. It doesn't hurt to try it for a year or something - expand your horizons, and find out if you like it/can tolerate it or not.

If I were you I'd stay in the country. But I'm a country boy and hate cities. So yeah. Also, I'm confused. Your dad is married to a woman and is also dating your cousin? Or is your cousin your dad's friend who just happens to be a girl which makes her his girl friend? If you do move in with your dad it almost sounds as though you'd need four rooms. One for you, one for your dad's friend, one for your dad and his 2nd wife and one for the cousin.

Why don't you like living near the oil drills?

Is this about driving? I mean, I don't see nothing about who you love. All I see is what you want for materialistic things. All I see, is I want Computer, I want Internet, I want Fast Internet, I don't want to do chores and help out my mother.

I think you have your priorities wrong. You seem or at least this post seems too materialistic, and what can be done for you instead of of actually being what is best for you and the family.

Sorry I can't give any advice. From what I read, you are a selfish ungrateful kid who is so ungratefully to their mother, who doesn't want to help out. Maybe your Mother is trying to give you LIFE SKILLS by doing chores or whatever she wants. She is not trying to make YOU her SLAVE which you seem to make it out. (Or at least the way I read it.)

You are having an easier lifestyle with your Father than your Mother. This is what I am getting. Where is the Love? Where is the Loyalty? Yes we don't know why your parents broke up, if they treat you properly, but you never mentioned anything about your Mother treating you bad. Don't you love your Mother? Don't you love your Father? All I read is you don't have with your Mother is no computer and no high speed internet. You will have computer and internet with your Father.

Why not make pros and cons. Start with Love. At the end of your list should be computer and internet.

Maybe he loves the internet.

Learn to ride a bike. It'll greatly improve your own independence, especially in a city.

My dad's friend (Who is a male and works with him) is dating my cousin.

Oil.

It's more about needs since I love both my mother and father pretty equally. They both have their pros and cons.

1stly, I do need a good computer and internet connection if I want even just a slight chance of working in the Game Designing business... No ands ifs or buts about that.

2ndly, I don't mind doing chores and normally do them on my own. I'm talking about simple things like moving a basket that my mother is standing right OVER while I'm upstrs doing my own work... I mean seriously? Why do I have to come down the annoying spiral stairs just to move a basket all because she doesn't want to bend over and move it or step over it? You know? That kind of stuff is what I meant... I don't mind doing chores like taking out the garbage, bringing in groceries, etc...

He's prolly getting a three bedroom regardless and if I don't move in, use the 3rd room for his friend's pets or something. (His friend has some... Strange caged pets, including rats, a spider, and some sort of lizard thing. Though I've personally saw the rats before. They are extremely smart!).

When I see the word "scooter" I think of a motorized, small 2-wheel vehicle with a limited power (25-50mph say). I'm not sure a manual bicycle creates more independence than one of those. But if that would be included with fear-of-driving and what he means is a non-motorized push-with-foot-on-the-ground scooter thingie ... then yeah...learn to ride a bike. It's not too difficult to learn, and once you do...as they say...you never forget.

Ok, that makes sense then.

Also, I'm still confused on the oil drills. You don't actually get exposed to any of the oil so what's the problem? I once did work in a BP plant that had those things on site. Best experience I had, especially the day the lit off the tops of the drills and they had 12' flames shooting out of them. That was cool.

Is your mom going to be alone if you move away? That'd make me want to stay there. I wouldn't want my mom to be alone. I think you need to get over your fear of cars or driving or whatever and learn to drive and just stay with your mom.

Some oil storage/rigs smell. I can't stand that smell, personally ... at least not if I had to live with it. Might also be noisy. Kinda depends what he means by oil drills I guess.

I prefer more open space (I certainly don't like the city-city, like San Francisco) but if one doesn't like to/can't drive, the open country isn't the best option ... especially for youthfully trying to get a career/education/income and eventual independence going.

What about the noise? Traffic? etc of all the oil trucks that drives right in front of our house?

No. She's remarried as well. My step father lives here. (Tbh, I don't think my step father likes me that much)...

Oh. Just remember... My father is more willing to check out things I like or even play a few games with me on Xbox (MK and Rock Band 3)... My Mother? No... The only thing we do together would be watching TV and it's only shows we both like or only she just like... Prolly another thing why I don't feel as lonely when I'm with my father...

I'm with the majority here. I'd go with your dad if only to learn one of the most important life lessons you could ever learn: how to be independent. Sure, you live with your dad, but you're pitching in with the rent/bills, and you'd need your own job to do this right. Also, it sounds like you could pursue your game design career better there. And if you want to avoid driving, city's the best place to be.

I have a similar phobia with driving (and most any motorized vehicle), so that's what I'd do if I were you.

Oh, and regarding your latest post, if you get along with your dad and the people he hangs around better than you do with your mother and stepfather, then go with your dad. I myself feel more comfortable around my mother (though neither parents are interested in what I do), and try to stay out of the way of my dad, as I think that my presence makes him equally uncomfortable as it his presence makes me uncomfortable. If your stepfather doesn't like you, the least you can do is make both him and you win by having nothing to do with each other.

Not sure where you live. Do you live in Europe? Does your Mother have someone in her life? Does she have a BF or a new Husband? Maybe she need that little something from the love of her life if she has none in her life. Maybe she just wants something done for her, no matter how trivial it seems. I know for me, my son wants to do everything for his Mommy and Daddy. I get use to this. Maybe you have done the same when you were little? Mommy knows you are almost a grown man, and she will not have you much for very long.

I understand you need a computer for what you would like to do for a job career. So make a list. Pro's and Con's. Make sure this is a very LONG list. If it's not, you haven't thought it out through. Then once you have this long list, read it over and over again. This shouldn't be the deciding factor, but it can help you see clearer.

I can say what you might should do to better yourself, but I will not say it, because I don't want to say you have to choose between your Mother and your Father. If you stay with your Mother, will your Dad not help you out? If not why not? For me it doesn't sound good for so many people living in a house. Is this a small house, large house? Is it an apartment? There is pro's and con's for this as well. How about food? Who will be paying for all this food? Will someone say something if you don't contribute? Some people could say, paying for internet doesn't account for paying for room and board. Could this happen if someone looses a job in say 6 months, 1 year?

Why not get your Mom and Dad together, if possible and talk this out? This is a family decision. So why not make it as a family? How will your Mother feel if you leave her? How will your Father feel if you don't go with him? You have all this to consider. How will YOU FEEL if you leave your Mother just so you can better your career? You may feel so bad in a few years for

abandoning your Mother.

Will you get over your fear of driving for Your Mother so you can see her every month if you move in with your Dad?

I hope this helps in some of the stuff you need to be thinking before you make a life altering decision.

I won't tell you what to choose. Entirely up to you. Don't listen to anonymous strangers on the interwebz, even at a lovely forum like this.

I think you are so wrong here. Maybe it's the language barrier. From what I am reading, he will not be learning the most important life lesson. He will not be contributing to rent/bills. All he will be paying is the Internet. That's it. That is all he/she can afford from what I read. All he is doing is getting it EASIER.

The life lesson would be staying with his Mom. He will learn how to succeed when it's not so easy. He will appreciate everything more, when it's not so easy. He will learn to appreciate time more with family when he has to commute all the time. He will learn when the going get's tuff, the tuff get going. Right now, taking the easier way, all will mean is he needs to do the easy things all the time to get by.

Just because it's easier to do something doesn't mean he should be doing it. The city life is not always all that. He/she may find living in the city is a big mistake. Why not do a trial run? Stay there for a few months before making a choice or decision?

Actually I recommend that. Talk to your parents together if possible. Then do a trial run. If the city life is not for him/her, he/she can always move back to mom. Also when are you going to move out on your own? Don't know how old you are (don't tell your age, I believe the Mods don't like this, it's a rule or something) we know you are young. So do you play on living in the country all your life or do you plan on one day to live alone in the city? Factor this also into your decision.

But what if he listens to you here?

OP, I recommend the city. It doesn't have to be about love, or the internet, or any of that. Cities will expose you to all sorts of new people and things, perhaps you'll even find yourself operating a motor vehicle at some point and be okay with it. The public transit and, as DEFRON has suggest, a bicycle will keep you mobile. It's all pluses with the negative being leaving your-a momma down in the-a countryside.

@Davor - did you and I read the same post?

He said they'd "all pitch in for rent", he'd pay for the internet, and that he'd have to earn money for his own computer first. eg, I don't think he gets to cart off his mother's PC with him if he goes to the city. If he wants internet/PC while with his father, he has to get a job to be able to buy one. That doesn't sound like being spoiled/wanting to be spoiled, to me.

No. I'm getting it easier with my mother if my mother is telling the truth... I'll be contributing to rent/bills with my father, paying for the internet, and slowly making money for my own computer (Instead of my mother using a credit card for it).

Other people's thoughts are normally helpful though.

I personally don't want to be spoiled... I want to make my own money, do my own things, etc... I don't want to be spoiled...

All I had to hear was that you had dial-up.... Get out of there.

This is not funny. We are talking about a person who is making a life altering event here. Getting out of there could be the wrong decision, so we shouldn't be joking about it.

With that said, it's good to see he will be contributing to rent and everything else. I might have misread something. I thought he would only be paying for internet at his dads. Glad I read that part wrong.

All I will say for now, until we get more details, is speak to your Mom and Dad. If possible to it all in the same room together. Talk it all out, listen to what your parents have to say. Make your decision in a grown up manner. Did you speak to your parents about this? If so, what did they say?