Dealing with a co-worker you just cant stand, anyone have ad

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 6:42 pm

FrozenAffairs it sounds like she doesn't accept who you are. When a person doesn't accept someone, especially on the job, nothing can be done about it.

She wants to be your friend, but she wants you to act a certain way. Friendship doesn't work like that.

The only kind of relationship that will work for the both of you is a professional one. Any attempt at anything platonic will only bring you more stress.
User avatar
Lilit Ager
 
Posts: 3444
Joined: Thu Nov 23, 2006 9:06 pm

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 11:55 am

Miles' advice was spot on. Get your supervisor involved stat, keep a record of every incident, and file a formal harrassment complaint. Giving your opinion won't be actionable if she starts the conversation, however, using crude language against you that makes you uncomfortable is definitely a fireable offense (and opens your employer up to a lawsuit by you if no action is taken by them to stop it).

If for any reason those steps don't fix it, challenge her to a duel.
User avatar
Lizzie
 
Posts: 3476
Joined: Sun Nov 19, 2006 5:51 am

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 12:55 pm

LOL, I was reading that, while totally expecting something silly in the end, and you didn't disappoint.
User avatar
jessica sonny
 
Posts: 3531
Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2006 6:27 pm

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 2:31 pm

LOL, I was reading that, while totally expecting something silly in the end, and you didn't disappoint.

I had to end on an upnote, the rest of the post was far too "heavy".
User avatar
Nathan Maughan
 
Posts: 3405
Joined: Sun Jun 10, 2007 11:24 pm

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 2:46 pm

What kind of thing would you say that she gets offended about? How old are the two of you? I've got to say it all sounds a bit petty. Word of warning - if she's been getting offended by the things you say, if it comes down to which of you keeps your job it will be her.

My advice would be not to ignore her (that's extremely rude - however uncomfortable she's making you feel, imagine how much more so you are making her feel). Instead, converse about topics that are not important and unlikely to cause you to say something that upsets her. What is it she has been getting upset about? Is it when you've given your opinion on things? So she's not the type that enjoys a debate. Don't discuss controversial topics and keep your opinion buttoned down. That's quite common and will be the case with many people wherever you work.

With pretty much every job you ever have you will find there are people there that don't mach your personality. At work we sometimes have to be a chameleon and behave differently depending on who we talk to but without being rude (which ignoring most definitely is). You need to get used to dealing with it. Honestly I think speaking to your boss about it is a bad idea. It will reflect more poorly on you than her. Also, if one of you ends up losing your jobs over this will that make you feel good? You can't get along with everyone, but part of working with different people is that we have to be capable of doing our job professionally regardless.
I dont say offensive things, shes just really sensitive, and you're on the mark when saying she doesnt enjoy a debate, she gets mad when that happens too. By things that I say, it could be something petty, the most recent example is I noticed she had a new dress, and said it was "bright" I honestly dont know if I like it or not so I wasnt going to say either way. She said something like so you dont like it then, and I thought about the question to give an honest response. Before I could even say something (I was going to say I liked it as a skirt) she had called me a profanity.

I've been working here for a few years now and have seen and worked with many many people. I've not liked some of them but I could easily work with them fine, but working with her is just on a whole nother level. I think I'll see how the next shift with her goes, if its bad, then I'll go to the manager. I'll try my best to have it not bother me, but I dont know how much control over that I have.

@Terra Nova It does seem that way, when she asks something she expects a response she wants to hear. I think you're definitly right that there can really only be a professional or extremely fake "friendship" relation between us.
User avatar
Julia Schwalbe
 
Posts: 3557
Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 3:02 pm

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 1:24 pm

I dont say offensive things, shes just really sensitive, and you're on the mark when saying she doesnt enjoy a debate, she gets mad when that happens too. By things that I say, it could be something petty, the most recent example is I noticed she had a new dress, and said it was "bright" I honestly dont know if I like it or not so I wasnt going to say either way. She said something like so you dont like it then, and I thought about the question to give an honest response. Before I could even say something (I was going to say I liked it as a skirt) she had called me a profanity.

I've been working here for a few years now and have seen and worked with many many people. I've not liked some of them but I could easily work with them fine, but working with her is just on a whole nother level. I think I'll see how the next shift with her goes, if its bad, then I'll go to the manager. I'll try my best to have it not bother me, but I dont know how much control over that I have.

The situation you have just described is known as a "hostile work environment". The sooner you report it to your supervisor/HR rep the better or else it may be you who gets fired (which won't help your future career options).
User avatar
Penny Courture
 
Posts: 3438
Joined: Sat Dec 23, 2006 11:59 pm

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 2:11 pm

I would prepare a resignation speech :P
User avatar
katie TWAVA
 
Posts: 3452
Joined: Tue Jul 04, 2006 3:32 am

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 12:49 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4sNxg1Yv0E
User avatar
biiibi
 
Posts: 3384
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2007 4:39 am

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 3:47 am

poison is always an option
User avatar
Eire Charlotta
 
Posts: 3394
Joined: Thu Nov 09, 2006 6:00 pm

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 12:41 pm

Say what you like and tell 'em to deal with it!
User avatar
Sista Sila
 
Posts: 3381
Joined: Fri Mar 30, 2007 12:25 pm

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 6:44 pm

I dont say offensive things, shes just really sensitive, and you're on the mark when saying she doesnt enjoy a debate, she gets mad when that happens too. By things that I say, it could be something petty, the most recent example is I noticed she had a new dress, and said it was "bright" I honestly dont know if I like it or not so I wasnt going to say either way. She said something like so you dont like it then, and I thought about the question to give an honest response. Before I could even say something (I was going to say I liked it as a skirt) she had called me a profanity.

I've been working here for a few years now and have seen and worked with many many people. I've not liked some of them but I could easily work with them fine, but working with her is just on a whole nother level. I think I'll see how the next shift with her goes, if its bad, then I'll go to the manager. I'll try my best to have it not bother me, but I dont know how much control over that I have.

@Terra Nova It does seem that way, when she asks something she expects a response she wants to hear. I think you're definitly right that there can really only be a professional or extremely fake "friendship" relation between us.
You should talk to your manager immediately, don't take a wait and see approach. The sooner you talk to your manager, the sooner you can get this resolved. That kind of name-calling is simply foul behavior on your co-worker's part.
User avatar
Misty lt
 
Posts: 3400
Joined: Mon Dec 25, 2006 10:06 am

Previous

Return to Othor Games