Step 1: Get Swat uniform
Step 2: Go to movie premiere
Step 3: ????
Step 4: Profit

I get the impression that you are fairly young or have been a virgin until fairly recently.

No. This clear from several posts that have been made so far.

Yeah man, that's hilarious. Way to keep it classy.

I am pretty young (17), and by fairly recently about 5 months ago so I suppose I fit both categories

Not cool bro, not cool.

If you're serious about this stuff, talk to your family/friends about it or get professional help.

If you just needed to rant online for a bit that's fine, but as you can see it mostly attracts spam rather than helpful responses.


I'll leave this open for the moment but cut down on the spam guys.

OK, so let's recap....
Rant mor, but only on message boards (I'm still not confident enough to let people who actually know me know how crazy I am) and ignore the ridiculous posts.
Hit stuff, but only if it's not alive.
Have six... lots of it.

That... actually seems so obvious, but it never occurred to me. I really appreciate the honest post, here! Thanks!!

Well speaking to people usually helps (if people are with you on the matter) - like what you're doing here. I meant more about storytelling (when there's noone around that'd listen). Back in the day, I started to write a vague story about a few fellows and their take on the world (in first person and present time so I couldn really convey the feelings and outtake of the people), and I characterized their worldview slightly echoing on how I viewed the world at that point in time, and when in "distress", I put them (and/or other people) in so horrible situations that it made me smile and calm down. The story ultimately became over 500 pages long, and my friends actually loved to read it (although, being that I actually tried to write a consistent story). I felt much better when I could, so to speak, delve into the other world where I was in charge of what happens and to whom.

It was a coping mechanism of sorts at first, but after the feedback I got, I plan to try and publish the thing at some point once I tidy it up a bit so that it doesn't partly read like a 17-18-yerar-old wrote it.

hahaha that actually made me laugh so freakin hard... I know its wrong to laugh at a joke about that, but come on! that was hilarious! in 50 years that joke will be funny, im just preemptively laughing.

I have remarkably bad coping measures. Usually the only option is to shut down and restart, i.e. sleep.

So do I... You can only get better if you ask, though. It was scary, but most of the people here have good advice.

I suggest working out. It's working for me. Good de-stresser. However, personally, if I have things on my mind I don't have good workouts. If I'm angry for no reason then workouts are great to feel better.

When I get mad I like to fire up the ol' Doom & help some demons die from EXTREME lead poisoning.

I don't really get angry. Still in that uncaring phase.

No. You should probably talk to someone if you have unhealthy thoughts like that often.

Every damn day.

Yes, I work out my stress at the gym and pump iron while pretending it is the people I hate. Then I stomp on insects like an angry boy and pretend they are those people that annoy me.

Kidding about the insect part.

I've been in that "[censored] it"-phase for years. It doesn't really do good to you long term.