» Tue Apr 02, 2013 7:47 am
Undertaker vs Punk and Lesnar vs Triple H is looking to be brutal beyond hell. I've come up with a few predictions on how it may go.
Undertaker vs Punk
Scenario 1: A brutal fight occurs between the two. Punk may be likely to use THE URNNNNNNNNN on Undertaker as a weapon sometime during the fight, which will launch him into a frenzy that results in Punk's defeat. The Streak is safe, and Undertaker announces his plans to retire.
Scenario 2: Punk uses THE URNNNNNNNNN on Undertaker and gives him a good beating. With faith and body broken, Punk beats Undertaker's streak and walks out of the ring carrying THE URNNNNNNNNN. Taker leaves the arena in shame without another word, and for months we don't see him.... though there is potential buildup to a return, like when they had Underfaker.
This is not the end of The Undertaker however. One day, when Punk is wrestling John Smith, the gongs go off. The stadium darkens, monks begin to chant, and mist begins to roll in... but Undertaker's theme does not play. As a matter of fact, nobody known on WWE shows up at first. Ominous music starts to ring throughout the stadium, similiar to Taker's style, and yet very different.
Flame rises from the ring, departing the mist... and there stands a new competitor, never before seen. His style in costume resembles a combination of Undertaker and Kane. The new competitor attacks Punk and gives him a good beating, causing Punk to retreat. And then the gongs ring once more, a combination of Undertaker's darker themes playing throughout the stadium as he comes forth.
Undertaker announces that he has "fought as many battles as his body can take," and reveals that he is taking up a manager position similar to Paul Bearer. The Undertaker's Apprentice is introduced, and Taker tells Punk that he has his next opponent for Wrestlemania 2014. The stakes? "Give. Me. Back. His. Urn."
Lesnar vs Triple H
First, I'd like to say that Lesnar is a [censored] psycho. Now that we have that out of the way, I have imagined three scenarios for Triple H.
Scenario 1: Triple H wins in a brutal fight. The end.
Scenario 2: The two have the heaviest fight ever seen. Lesnar is relentless, wanting to practically kill Triple H in this fight. After a good half hour of them beating on eachother, Triple H having pulled out the Sledgehammer, Lesnar ends up going into a frenzy. He manages to snap the sledgehammer in half, smashing the blunt end against Triple H's head and then finishing the match. Triple H loses the match, his career as a wrestler, and is seriously injured.
But months later, the unexpected (expected) happens. Triple H returns to WWE as the head manager and either gets a rematch against Lesnar in which he finally pumps out a win, or does an awesome "YOU'RE FIREDDDDDDDDDDDD!" on him before sodomizing Paul Hayman for the world to see.
Scenario 3: Triple H wins with a broken hammer. The next few months slowly build up to him becoming a manager.
I think a theme with this years Wrestlemania is that it is the last part in many character's stories. All the ones whom are still respectable anyways... (sorry Kane.) It's time to put the old stars out of the ring and make way for new blood.
When I watch WWE, I separate the good storylines from the bad. Let Cena, AJ Lee, Daniel Bryan, and Kane do their little thing. It's cute. The real show is with the people whom have everything on the line right now, whether it be dignity or their careers. Once those people have finished their stories, it will be time for new stars to come into the fold.
To me, Cena is to WWE these days what people like The Hardy Boys were to WWE in the early 2000's/late 90s.