Yeah so Ive done more digging and im pretty sure its the infamous memory leak issue. I swear I remember this being a huge issue with skyrim too especially when I started downloading a bunch of mods. You would think they finally found a way to control it better by now. Not to sound like a [censored] but I NEVER had these issues with witcher 3. It started out pretty good, then got really really good after that first big patch. But its early, so time will tell I guess...

THIS!!!

I've been modding since Oblivion and just would like to mention that uGridsToLoad should be set to an odd numbered value, it is accepted by most that raising it is a bad idea, but I'm unsure if lowering below the default of 5 has problems (Other than reduced visual quality for distances). I think

I forget where I read ((ugrids + 1)squared) = cell buffer was teh formula to use, but two important points would be that it ran with 6gb of ram, and quit crashing.. I did disclaim it wasn't advice they would get from beth support.