Can you ride durnehviir? i already know how to ride odahviing (bend will him at the throat of the world), ive tried calling him then trying to bend will him but nothing happens

I tried doing it by summoning Durnehviir, immediately waiting just an hour, then shouting Bend Will on him, but when I did this and tried to ride him he disappeared.

No you cant.
I have tried within the soul cairne and by maxing on cooldown time effects ( amulet of talos, shrine of talos and full dragon aspect) and no you cannot in Tamriel either,

I have a modded save the nordm save and summoned durn and tried to bend and nothing happened

I think it's because Durn-Durn is on a timer for when he has to return to the Cairn.

Yah, it's too bad. I wanted to use his special shout.