So I promised a follow-up, here it is

Got it working, thanks for the suggestion tunaisafish, because the Shield Charge Perk is exactly what I needed to do to get this working. It's very simple: the whole thing is set up via a cloak, which refers to an effect (with a special shader with its own armor hit sound effect) that basically just does a PushActorAway on whatever the Target is from the caster.
On the upside, I figured out how cloak effects work too. Basically, it goes like this:
1. The base spell. This is what the perk (or spell) points to. It's a constant effect ability/spell on self, that refers to a cloak magic effect, or anythign else you want stacked on there.
2. The cloak magic effect. This is a constant effect ability that does nothing - except point to a second spell. Whatever this second spell it points to is, will be what the cloak does to the actor. So, if you have a cloak on your player, and then through the cloak magic effect dialog associate it with a fire spell, it'll "hit" that same firespell spell on whatever the cloak hits. In my case, this second spell effect that the cloak uses, was a script effect.
3. The second spell. This is the actual thing that does what you want the cloak to do. It's what the cloak magic effect will refer to when it wants to know what to actually hit actors/etc with. Can be anything from a fire, script, etc. Note that you must use "Spell" and not ability for this second spell, unless you only want it to apply once. If you use Ability, it'll correctly apply the cloak's effect to whatever it hits, but only once (because it is an ability, and because they technically already have the ability according to the game, it can't be added another time). This can be useful if you want to use a cloak that only works on an actor once for the lifetime of the actor. Not sure if this will royally mess up actors though after doing it for a while, since abilities never go away as far as I know.
So basically you just use the cloak magic effect as a "foundation" for the real spell. Any "real" spell that is done through a cloak first, will ahve it's effects done via the cloak instead of what you would expect.