Sounds like somebody has never experienced love...................................................... Come 'ere bud, I'll give you some shugar!

How pessimistic. Surely a 1% chance that it will grow into love is better than running away where nothing at all will come of it?

My 2 cents?
Just let them chase you, the more you try to figure it out, the less romantic it becomes. Eventually they'll get tired of chasing, and will confront you themselves.

Listened to way too many sob stories of "Whaa s/he seemed so nice but I didn't know that s/he could be like that!" Well of course not, didn't you start the relationship on a whim in the first place ? How could you know!


Actually no, people will try to be with someone that they may not actually like that much once they drop the big pretense of early romance where the two are trying to be as nice and considerate as possible and then they will break apart when they can't keep it up anymore because they are simply too different. And that is a waste of time. A waste of time that you should rather spend enjoying life meeting people who enjoy doing what you enjoy doing as you encounter them doing the things you like to do and getting to know them better to see if they are someone you could get together with in any seriousness or not.

That is a HUGE presumption. Perhaps it is better to build a relationship out of a friendship. I'm not arguing there is a right or wrong way to fall in love. It just seems ridiculous, that if someone likes you enough, to blow them off before meeting them just because it MIGHT not work. Especially as "you should rather spend enjoying life meeting people".

You just reminded me that I have ice cold beer waiting for me at home.

OP: Is there anybody at this place that you think it may be?

Perhaps it is a big presumption but is it really bigger than presuming that the so called "love at first sight" can actually grow into real love ? There are indeed people who stay together after having some magical moment where they both fell in love but in most of those cases that I know of the only thing keeping them together is that they had a child early on and don't feel like they can ditch each other because of that. And even then in four of those cases they did end up ditching each other when their last kid was old enough for one of them to comfortably raise it on their own.

And then there are even more cases of love at first sight that never lives for more than half a year to a year at which point they fall apart and begin anew. Know people on both the "I was dumped" and "I dumped" spectrum of this and one guy who was all over his GF told me when I asked him why he dumped her that he did it because "she wanted to spend too much time with me". What a grand love he had for that girl, and interestingly enough it all started when he was 15 and she was 14 which matches the age of the OP at least in the age of the girl. High school romances are most of the time born on simple raging hormones and peer pressure to be with someone, and getting together with someone rashly at that age is not something to be desired.

I guess she can try and give him a chance but I'm willing to bet on a lot of observing the people around me that it will mostly end in heartache for either her, him or both before too long.

Love at first sight can most definitely grow into real love. Why can't it?

Some countries still practice arranged marriage. Many of these married couples report real love, even though they may have never seen each other before the wedding day. There are all sorts of psychological reasons why. I've got my notebook right here in my lap (doing work for a new class) and I'd be happy to list some. I think I have a list in here.

haha young love, aint it adorable! As for what ya should do...oh i know leave a note on your guitar! then he'll have to read it, i'm not for sure what you'd put on it tho

also why the pessimism? Most relationships probably end badly, if your young why not see what happens? its not like the op is moving in with someone or getting married to some total stranger

My advice is to not listen to Ellert. Sorry Ellert, I know where you're coming from, but openly avoiding a potential relationship is just silly. There are a ton of reasons why the admirer might choose this method of getting your attention. Even if it is not some 100% guarantee, and even if the relationship doesn't work out, there is still value in having a good time with someone and learninh from the experience so you're better prepared when the right person DOES come around.

What you can do: Find a boyfriend (or girlfriend... would be better IMO) and wait for your admirer to stop sending you flowers. If he (or she... you never know) still sends you flowers, you got a stalker on your hand(s). Then you'll never have to fall in love with this admirer. Everybody wins! Or just not do anything. He/she will eventually speak up.

i'd describe it more as infatuation if hes giving roses instead of unzipping pants

Everyone has come up with the idea of planting the guitar and waiting to see who places it, except do not hide in a bush... talk with some friends at a table or place close, but still out of normal noticing range. keep a second eye on the guitar. When you see who did it, then you can say hi. That or you can flirt the way i do with people. it is like this: "Your face. I like that [censored]."

Honestly, he is probably shy and afraid of rejection like me. Poor soul has probably had his heart stepped on more than once. It does not feel good, especially when we truly like someone. For some reason, women tend to think that men only want one thing, and that is not necessarily true. All i would want from a girl is to just be able to curl up on the couch, watch a movie, and hold her.

For the record, this person is not me. I go to a public school.

I personally know, that I might not start a "relationship", but a good friendship.
I don't want to ingore the person all togeather, because I mean, that person cares about me.
Tomorrow we will see if another flower appears.
But anyways thanks yall for all the advice. I might plant the guitar, but then I wouldn't want it to be too sketchy seeming.
Then to say the least and this may sound dumb to you guys, but I've never met anyone at my school when they do something or say something they really don't mean it.
But I am quitting the fourms. So I will take this advice and head into school tomorrow. lol
Thanks!

Good luck finding your secret admirer.

Oh well, I guess the majority is just still fond of the old movie style relationship : / I just think people are taking love too lightly, like it's just a game where it doesn't matter who you are with just as long as you are with someone.

As for if the person means it or not he could mean it for the whole world. But does he really realize if he is interested in your for the right reasons or not ? In any case I have my doubts that at this age this will grow into anything serious if you would get together with him on a whim but if there are a million reasons for it to work then that statistic probably doesn't include if it works "well" or if it just "works". Plenty of people together for sure but there are also plenty of people together who hate each other, as weird as that may sound.

You can be nonchalant for a whole school year and then wing it on the finals and get a 5 or a 6 to pass, but it's not going to be a 9 or a 10, and you can start with someone without knowing him or her and it can work but it doesn't have to work well.

I may be pessimistic but if I am then that's only because this thread made me consider just how many long running couples I know actually "like" to spend time with each other and it turns out to be a disturbingly low number =.= yet most of them went around arms flailing announcing it to the world that they got a BF/GF as if they had just scored a milestone in some big race.

Perhaps I'm quite wrong that you shouldn't meet up with him, go give him a chance if he musters the courage to speak to you but for the sake of all things sane don't "try" to make it work, just "let it" work if it does, granted he on the other hand might be all too willing to tell a lie or two to "try" and make it work at that age.

This is hilarious, almost entirely because of the avatar.

But anyway, most guys I know aren't the type to gives flowers while hiding behind cover. My friends and I approach girls at parties that we're interested in, or hint to friends of theirs to set things up, etc.

This could be a fairy-tale where some charming prince is leaving you flowers until you find your true love and get married at the cathedral Notre Dame, OR it could be some weird guy you hardly know [censored] with your locker.

This made me sad...
I lost a potential buddy.
Why are you leaving?

Aww, don't worry. I might be back...maybe. Maybe when summer comes around.

school. Ever sence I joined my grades have dropped because I think I'm slightly addicted to this. If I want to get into law school, then I have to keep my grades high.

The forums are dropping your grades? That's a new one.

I agree with this, you cant love someone you dont know, and the person just leaving roses instead of JAHO creeps me out, for some reason.

that can be more painful then a cold rejection


the secret admirer approach isn't new

Bear traps, you'll find the corpse and then you'll know.

Imagine the admirer started a topic about this very thing, and the advice s/he got was to put roses on your belongs

You should leave tulips on the belongings of the person you think it is.

Damnit! I was just about to post a thread like that

@Ellert - sheesh, way to turn a nice, intriguing, light 'mystery' that's happening to someone into something depressing. With that kind of attitude love is definitely going to be difficult to find. While I'd agree that one doesn't find true love based only on sight, giving a rose isn't a proposal, just a sign of interest. And my husband, (who I met 26 years ago when I was 17), and I spend a whole lot of time together. Actually, we probably spend a little too much time together. Haha.

I'm sure Trixy is intelligent enough to know the rose-giver may not turn out to be her future husband. But it's fun to have an admirer, and it's fun to find out who it is. The guy isn't leaving little dolls with knives stuck in them or something. So Trixy, hope you find out/he reveals himself soon, and good luck however it turns out.