Screenshots:
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=96621875
Okay, so it's a mod issue, I thought. I uninstalled all of my mods.
Didn't fix it.
Oops. I messed up something pretty bad. I know! I'll reinstall Skyrim.
Deleted all files that could have possibly been edited leaving only the Skyrim ESM and Dawnguard, the executables, and any file that may have potentially been added. Then I went to Steam and had it do an integrity check on the game cache to redownload things I shouldn't have deleted.
Didn't work.
Well, crap. So I deleted Skyrim. ALL of Skyrim. Every last file. I deleted the SkyrimPrefs and Skyrim.ini, I deleted the common/skyrim folder under Steam, I deleted the Skyrim folder under "My Games." Then I downloaded the ENTIRE game and reinstalled.
Still didn't work.
Is this a known bug with the latest patch?
Is it related to Dawnguard?
I'm running out of ideas. I am reattempting the last step above one last time after scrubbing my system with proverbial acid to wash away any scent of Tamriel, and if it doesn't work, I'm going to be forced to call Tech Support. (EWWWWWWWW.)
Please offer suggestions or alternatives. D:
EDITED: I cannot seem to find the correct support page. Could someone direct me to it?