I'm actually 13 atm, nearly 14 and I do pretty well in School, I have a good few friends and we talk a lot, but I still wouldn't really consider them to be "proper" friends.
Then most people on my estate hate me, and I hate them.

And my mates from school live in a different town to me, so I'll have to wait until I'm 15-16 until I can go myself.
So I usually stay in my house most of the time.

I'm a small bit overweight for my age, which usually makes me nervous, but starting from the summer I'm going to train in my gym.

This sounds exactly like me at your age. Outside of school, I kept to myself, only being able to hang out with my friends if I could get a lift over to theirs, or they to mine.

On the bright side, all that will change in a few years. Those guys you hate will fade to nothingness and you'll be making it in the world with your true friends, and hopefully having a ball.

people have so many weird thoughts and opinions anyway, so i figured it doesn't matter.

'The gun is good. The [censored] is evil.

I've tried to avoid getting into this thread, but this here bugged me and is wrong.

1. Alcohol does not "do the same thing that meds do." Alcohol is a CNS depressant. Common prescription medications to treat social anxiety disorder include antidepressants such as Paxil or tranquilizers like Xanax, and they (especially the SSRIs) work in an entirely different way.

2. The best way to treat social anxiety is by going to a cognitive-behavioral therapist - it helps improve symptoms in up to 75% of people suffering from SAD, according to the http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/seasonal-affective-disorder/DS00195.

Honest, yes, but also a misleading viewpoint. Like many other mental illnesses, people seem to assume that people suffering from SAD / mental illness need to do is "buck up" or "get ahold of themselves."

The funny thing about that line of thinking is that if people were actually rational actors, it would work. The problem is that people aren't rational beings and don't act rationally. Mental illness needs to be examined from all angles - social, neurological, developmental, personality, etc - and simply saying "oh, they aren't putting in enough effort" is avoiding the bigger picture (and disrespectful to boot). No one (well, very few) actually want to suffer from some mental illness. They may possess learned behavior that psychologically holds them in a particular state, but that's the point of psychotherapy - to have someone help you with your problems who is distant from the psychological effects of those problems.

YOU ARE THE FIRST THAT SEEMS TO RECOGNIZE MY NAME

I'm sort of a misanthrope.

Zardoz is pleased.

I meant they achieve the same ultimate effect -- to decrease your anxiety in social situations -- not that they have the same effect on the body.


I didn't say pills were the only, or even the best, method. I was just chit chatting with evilfish, Reneer.

As for the rest of your post -- well put.

I thought that was likely what you meant, but I felt the point needed to be made anyway. Sorry if I came off as a bit harsh.

Ah, gotcha.

Thanks. It's a side-effect of reading lots and lots of psychology books and writing way too many papers.

I certainly wasn't saying that alcohol is an effective method of dealing with any kind of social anxiety. It's not. It may help then and there, but becoming dependent on that to help you interact with people makes you significantly less socially adept than pretty much anyone else.

Pills, alcohol, any other chemical assist - they're not going to solve any problems in the long run. But a little help in the short term may be of some benefit. Just don't overdo it, or you'll forget how to interact sober altogether.

i used to drink to cope with it but it just made me violent and get into trouble =/

I thought Xanax did work in basically the same way as alcohol - a gaba agonist or something like that, though I forget the specifics now. That said, I've found alcohol has certain stress-relief properties whereas Xanax and its friends do absolutely nothing at all for me so perhaps not.

Not exactly, but I do have some things in common with you.
My main problem is an anxiety disorder and depression, which I have been receiving treatment for. My problem did not get really serious until about 7+ years ago -- I actually was functioning reasonably well... had a great job that I loved, friends, etc. Then everything gradually started to collapse around me (in more ways than one). I had lots of warning signs, and should have been in treatment many years earlier. I let my problems get so bad that I was unable to hold a job, unable to socialize, wouldn't answer my phone, etc. I made a big leap recently when I went on my very first vacation in years (with an old friend) this past summer. It was difficult, but I'm glad I did it.

The BIGGEST, and largely hardest step you can take is to ask for help -- people who do not suffer from anxiety disorders or depression really don't get that. Asking for help is hard, and it's not something that will likely go away all by itself. Even with help, it can be a huge struggle, but you have to want to get better...

And remember that medication, by itself, is not going to solve your problems either. A good doctor/psychiatrist will not just prescribe medication, but will also refer you to a therapist.

One common theme that a lot of my therapists have talked about is self-medication -- things that people do to/for themselves instead of seeing a doctor, to make themselves feel better, or to avoid feeling worse than they do. It can involve getting drunk, overeating/fasting, drinking caffeinated beverages, smoking, staying in bed all day, avoiding social interractions, and even exercise. Of these, the only one that is both healthy for you, and actually works is, of course, exercise. Alcohol is among the worst.

Nothing like a good ol Bethesda forum self help thread for a good chuckle.

I'm going to refrain from giving any advice cause i always sound like a meany responding to these threads.

But, does anyone else think that it is funny that the acronym for social anxiety disorder is S.A.D.? Oh those clinical psychologist thought of everything, especially how to fool the general public into buying their B.S.

I don't mind being out in public every now and then but I don't like large groups or gatherings----I'm a bit of a closeaphobe.

You obviously know nothing about what you are talking about, and are absolutely not going to let that stop you from saying it. Mental disorders are real -- they are not 'excuses'. In my family two of my aunts are Schizophrenic, I've lost friends to alcoholism (liver failure in one case). Depression, anxiety, addictions, and so on, have REAL biological causes. If they didn't, then medication would have no discernable affect. Trust me -- I worked for over 25 years, the last 12 at a place I loved working. I had lots of friends, I was making decent money, and I was respected. I lost just about all of it due to anxiety and depression. That was NOT a choice, and saying that it was is simply stupid.

i have social anxiety
my brain tells me everyone is talking bout me

To everyone who has not experienced a phobia, anxiety disorder or something similar -- you can be totally aware that what you are feeling is irrational. But that, by itself, does not stop you from feeling it. I know very well that it's hard to relate to that if you've never experienced it first-hand.

Your body and mind function together as kind of a machine. What you feel (both emotionally and physically) has to do both with what your body experiences, and what your body (through chemicals and electrical impulses) tells your brain. Anywhere along the line, involving your glands that secrete the chemicals, to your nerves that communicate with your brain, to your brain itself, which interprets the chemicals and various signals, can go wrong wrong, either slightly or drastically. Similarly, chemicals that you put into your body affect your natural chemistry, just as shock treatment affects the electric signals. If you believe that all of this is made up, then you've never gotten high or drunk alcohol, or coffee, or a caffeinated beverage, have never felt depressed triggered by an illness, or have never had food poisoning causing you to throw up.

I never understood how people could have two contradictory beliefs -- that chemicals can affect how you feel, yet believe that if someone feels something (like S.A.D.) that it cannot be caused by chemistry.

I have no problem going to public places but actually socializing is like playing Russian Roulette: 5 out of 6 times nothing bad happens but there's a 1 out of 6 chance of getting hurt and feeling like a moron for having done it.

"Dohohohoho, I don't suffer from Disorder [X] so obviously those who do are just pathetic, and should be treated as such. It's all their fault anyway. After all, what does a psychologist with a PhD know about the way the brain works? Such B.S."

Really, now?

Actually, you're right, and I was wrong. Both ethanol (alcohol) and alprazolam (Xanax) act on GABA_A receptors, but likely the reason alcohol "works" more for you is due to self-administration and variance of the dose that you take.

Indeed, self-medication is generally a bad thing and often does more harm than good - aside from exercise (and even then too much exercise could hurt you).

It seems to me that you've never really known someone who suffers from depression or social anxiety, or something like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Go volunteer at a mental health hospital. I see you live in San Francisco, so I bet the San Francisco General Hospital & Trauma Center would love to have you as a volunteer orderly or intern. Might teach you some things too.

I can understand where you are at OP. I was very anti-social until I was about 16. I started off by making a few friends and I started hanging out with them. Now I'm 21 and I'm good around people. It's all about confidence, the more you get out, the more you will build up.

Try going for walks during the day, that'll make you feel not so depressed. It's worth a try.

Ha. Might want to rephrase that before somebody gets upset.