ok so i took y first steward from my first house to my second and made her the steward of that house but now i cant get a new steward for my first house and she wont buy anything for the second house.. anyone know what to do.

I have always been confused about how you can do something that we all know is impossible, there is no way to transfer a steward in this game to another house that I have ever found, so I think maybe you should think about that and come up with a precise explanation about how you ended up in that situation.

Are you sure you made that person steward of the first house? You were able to order wood and home improvement from them? What was this mysterious dialogue that allowed you to transfer them to another house? Just asking them to follow you to another house does not make them a steward of the new house, they can only be steward of the original house. Take them back to their house, release them and go find another steward for the second house. Chances are they will hang around the second house permanently, but you should never have moved them in the first place, a steward is going to be of no use at another house, you have plenty of housecarls and other followers to help with fighting and being a pack horse. the stewards should be left to look after their assigned house.

lydia just showed up at another build site and i bought wood from her to build a wing lol,but i didn't have a follower so ask her 2 join me and took her to my house

You can order wood from any steward, same wood pile does all three houses. But it would be better if you went to the steward rather than taking the steward to another house.