Hey everyone

So I was wondering if other people have come across this.

Recently, whenever I enter my houses in the major holds, rather than saying the usual lines like "I am your sword and your shield," or "Long life to you, Thane," my housecarls say things like "I trust your not here to cause trouble. What can I do for you, friend?" and other lines that I hear from NPCs when I go visit them in their homes.

Anyone else being treated like a stranger in their own home by the hired help?

Yeah, I know annoying. If you don't mind to not having a thane however, you can just kill them or disable them through console command if you're on pc.

This always happens to me with Jordis the Sword-Maiden, but never with Lydia, Iona or Calder. No clue what the correlation is.

It depends where Lydia is. Quite often, she's upstairs so she doesn't see you come in. When she is downstairs though, she speaks to you as if you are a visitor to the house.

I'm on the PS3, and I like having these hardened warriors sitting around and tidying up my things. I find it funny.

I just wish Jordis' room in the basemant got spruced up and Lydia wasn't a creeper watching me sleep all the time. In fact, I wish the Housecarls had more of a schedule to them, eat, sleep, read, do whatever, even go outside every now and then. Something to make them more interesting.

It's a bug which happens with certain housecarls.

Just pretend they've got mead goggles.

I know I was hearing this stuff from housecarls on my last couple of characters, but I can't say for sure if it's all of them. I only have Jordis, Calder and Lydia so far in this playthrough. Pretty sure I've heard Jordis say it, I don't think I've heard it from Calder... but then he was with me as a follower until just recently so it's not like he's had the opportunity.

Lydia, OTOH, says something like that to me just about *every* time I enter Breezehome. Including those times when she is sitting in one of the chairs in the front room of the house that faces the door where I come in. She's looking right at me from a few feet away and still doesn't recognize me.

Lydia's passive aggressive. She probably does recognize you, but she knows that doing this irks you. Like you're not important enough to remember. Like you're a guest in her home.

Any of the housecarls who sit near the door have always done it to me, very annoying it is. My first character shipped two repeat offenders of to the Blades, unfortunately my second character does not have that option. If I find the Dawnguard accepts unwanted housecarls I will be happy.

Well, that would explain why I keep coming home to find her asleep in MY bed.

Calder constantly asks me if I am lost whenever I come home to Hjerim.

I once tried to straighten her out. Every time it was raining, I would take her outside and have her wait in the rain until I said she could come back in. When that didn't work, and she refused to either not watch me sleep, or sleep in her own bed, I took her up to that lookout point over Riverwood. Took her sword, and tossed it away using Telekinesis. Then we went back home, where I tried to make her stare at a corner for a few hours and reflect on her negative attitude.

Long story short, my lessons didn't really take. Lydia is still the worst behaved of the bunch for me.

As I said, just kill her, you can ask for a new one from Balgruuf if I remember right.

Same here. Recently I've had Vorstag with me, so the first time I just pretended it was intended for him. By now, however, they should have gotten to know each other since I leave Vorstag there all the time, while I decorate my house, sleep or run errands in town.

LOL!

Unfortunately my remedial training tends to include a cliff-side shrine not far from Windhelm...

It's because of their AI or 'brain' programmed to be a 'house owner' when in your houses. So they think it's their house, and say such thing as same as other NPCs you have visited in their houses.
But sadly, it's so weird indeed.
As for now you may 'pretend' doesn't hear they say such thing alright? Until beth, MAYBE fix it.

I've walked into my home and Lydia attacked me saying i was a trespasser... literally attacked me, i drew my sword then sheathed but she had no mercy. I decapitated her. then loaded a prior save and then she proceded to watch my wife aela sleep... while eating bread... Lydia you creep!

I did something similar with Calder and Stenvar when they decided to get in a fight over who could have a wooden plate I dropped when I was doing some redecorating after buying Hjerim. That was actually the *second* item they tried to fight over, the first one was valuable so I could see where somebody would want to call dibs if they misunderstood what I was doing and thought I was throwing it away. But a wooden plate? Obviously the two of them were just in a mood to misbehave.

So I made them stand outside on the front stoop for the rest of the evening, in one of those wonderful blustery Windhelm rain/snow squalls. I like to think the guard on patrol came by several times and saw two burly warrior dudes standing outside the Thane's house holding torches aloft, possibly waiting for me to come out and lead them on some big adventure, and asked, "What is it? Dragons?"

And they'd just be hemming and hawing and staring down at their shoes and finally answer, "No we're having a time-out because the boss says we need to stand here a while and think about what we did."

A good reminder, though. I haven't had any fights between Calder and Vorstag yet, but I mostly have been dropping things upstairs or in the secret room, so I guess they didn't see it. I'll be more careful in the future.

I've dropped stuff in the bedroom while two NPCs were downstairs minding their own business and heard the "Hey - what's this?" line from one of them. Followed shortly thereafter by the distinct sound of weapons being unsheathed and one of them coming up the stairs and around the corner to claim the item, while the other one is still downstairs saying "If it's a fight you want..."

*sigh*

Going into one of the secret rooms and closing the door and dropping something, then closing the door again on the way out, seems to work okay. Closing the doors will not keep NPCs in residence from entering those rooms while I'm out (at least not with the mods I've got) but it does seem to avoid them getting into fights over the dropped objects. I've dropped things in Breezehome's bedroom too with those doors closed and not had any problems with three NPCs in the house.

But it's all so random, who knows? They will respond to something that's basically worthless being discarded, but I've dropped a Legendary enchanted Daedric bow by accident when I thought I was storing it and nobody even bats an eye.

Personally... I'm thinking they shouldn't be called "Housecarls" I think they should be called "Breadcarls". It's all I ever find them doing. Sitting there... eating bread... leaving crumbs everywhere. I'm surprised we don't have ants!

Weird, 'cause I've been dropping loads of things in the secret room without closing the door. And armor pieces, gems and whatnot upstairs. Maybe Vorstag's not the fighting type... No... Wait...