The Story of a Chicken Murder

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 7:44 am

It all started when I wanted to kill an elk, the annoying creature was just standing their asking for it. The thing of course ran from me and after spending 10 minutes chasing it down I finally managed to catch up and kill it. The anger that built up trying to kill it was too much for me, after chasing it cross river and threw Riverwood, I had to release my anger on whatever I can. That is when the chicken came into view, it stood their plucking at the ground, and in that moment I raised my sword and smashed it into the puny animals killing it.

Immediately all hell broke loose, the town’s folk of Riverwood were screaming in fear, and a guard held up their bow and took aim. Scared out of my mind I took off down the river avoiding the arrow shots from the guard. It’s amazing how serious people can take the death of a chicken in this town. Running out of town and following the river I managed to get a big distance from Riverwood. But It wasn’t long before new creatures wanted my head, a wolf and a Sabertooth Cat came rushing out to ambush me. There was no way for a noob like me to kill them both; I’d be dinner for sure now. But just as the Cat and Wolf were about to pounce on me an arrow came flying through the air and struck the Cat in the back. Relived that a guardsman came to my rescue and currently has both animals attention, I turned and ran. After running a safe distance I turned around to see how the guardsman was doing, and horrified I see the Sabertooth cat and Wolf dead on the ground, the guardsman, the same one from Riverwood was running right towards me with bow drawn.

How could he still be following me I can no longer see Riverwood from my location, I turned and ran as fast as I can, following the river that leads to a water fall. Quickly I took the risk of a fall and jumped down the rocks trying to put as much distance between me and the guard as best I can. By the time I made it to the bottom, I knew there was no way he could follow me know. After catching my breath and I noticed a tower further down the river, it is home to the bandits of Skyrim. This will be easy picking for gold; I hurried down to the tower and hid behind a rock. I won’t be able to take them all on at once, I knew I had to lure them some were so I can fight them one at a time. I can see at the top of the tower there is a small platform, if I can make it up there, I will be able to kill them one by one as they run up the stairs to chase me.

So with all the stamina I had I rushed right into the tower and up the stairs, passing a few shocked bandits along the way. Once I made it to the top I unsheathed my sword and got into position waiting for them to follow me up. After a couple minutes of waiting I was surprise none followed, but then I heard steel clashing and agonizing screams of death. I looked over the ledge and I see the lone guardsmen with a few dead bandits at his feet, he was engaged in combat witch the bandit chief, a massive brute who wields a might great axe, but even he could not over power the Riverwood guard, he too was cut down by the lawman. With all the bandits dead the guard made his way into the tower. At this point I knew I was dead, how can I hope to kill this behemoth of a man, after he so effortlessly cut down a Sabertooth cat and put to rest an entire bandit camp. As he made his way up the stairs he said in a voice that only the terminator could mimic. “You have committed crimes against Skyrim and her people”
Well to make a long story short, he made me pay the fine for killing the chicken… the jerk took 45 gold. >.<
User avatar
BethanyRhain
 
Posts: 3434
Joined: Wed Oct 11, 2006 9:50 am

Post » Sun May 13, 2012 11:39 pm

I wouldn't call him a jerk. 45 gold is cheap for saving your bacon (twice). :wink_smile:
User avatar
Rob Smith
 
Posts: 3424
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2007 5:30 pm

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 4:48 am

Yeah chickens are highly revered in Skyrim...
Same as Albion lol
User avatar
Love iz not
 
Posts: 3377
Joined: Sat Aug 25, 2007 8:55 pm

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 10:54 am

:^D

Excellent.
User avatar
Dalia
 
Posts: 3488
Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2006 12:29 pm

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 10:08 am

this post has made my day :rofl:
User avatar
J.P loves
 
Posts: 3487
Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2007 9:03 am

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 11:11 am

The anger that built up trying to kill it was too much for me, after chasing it cross river and threw Riverwood, I had to release my anger on whatever I can. That is when the chicken came into view, it stood their plucking at the ground, and in that moment I raised my sword and smashed it into the puny animals killing it.

Anger management my friend. . . Anger Management.

Poor (delicious) Chicken.

User avatar
cosmo valerga
 
Posts: 3477
Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2007 10:21 am

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 11:34 am

I have been wanting to kick a chicken in this game so bad. Well I guess that is out of the question since they are holy critters.
User avatar
Michael Korkia
 
Posts: 3498
Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2007 7:58 pm

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 2:33 am

LOL - that's an awesome story!! Very well said.
I never had a guard follow me like that, thank gawd, and I've killed a single chicken myself. Must not have been seen.
There must be something special with chickens though because in your statistics screen, there is a stat for the amount of chickens you kill (as in it is its own stat, not just lumped under creatures killed).
Thanks for sharing and making me laugh.
User avatar
Jose ordaz
 
Posts: 3552
Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2007 10:14 pm

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 1:21 am

this post has made my day :rofl:


As I understand it, it's only the chicken in that town that has that bug. They left it in there on purpose.
User avatar
Jade
 
Posts: 3520
Joined: Mon Jul 10, 2006 6:42 am

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 1:35 pm

thats hysterical! see my post about shouting at chickens. maybe you should have a guard chase you more often
User avatar
Amy Masters
 
Posts: 3277
Joined: Thu Jun 22, 2006 10:26 am

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 7:13 am

It all started when I wanted to kill an elk, the annoying creature was just standing their asking for it. The thing of course ran from me and after spending 10 minutes chasing it down I finally managed to catch up and kill it. The anger that built up trying to kill it was too much for me, after chasing it cross river and threw Riverwood, I had to release my anger on whatever I can. That is when the chicken came into view, it stood their plucking at the ground, and in that moment I raised my sword and smashed it into the puny animals killing it.

Immediately all hell broke loose, the town’s folk of Riverwood were screaming in fear, and a guard held up their bow and took aim. Scared out of my mind I took off down the river avoiding the arrow shots from the guard. It’s amazing how serious people can take the death of a chicken in this town. Running out of town and following the river I managed to get a big distance from Riverwood. But It wasn’t long before new creatures wanted my head, a wolf and a Sabertooth Cat came rushing out to ambush me. There was no way for a noob like me to kill them both; I’d be dinner for sure now. But just as the Cat and Wolf were about to pounce on me an arrow came flying through the air and struck the Cat in the back. Relived that a guardsman came to my rescue and currently has both animals attention, I turned and ran. After running a safe distance I turned around to see how the guardsman was doing, and horrified I see the Sabertooth cat and Wolf dead on the ground, the guardsman, the same one from Riverwood was running right towards me with bow drawn.

How could he still be following me I can no longer see Riverwood from my location, I turned and ran as fast as I can, following the river that leads to a water fall. Quickly I took the risk of a fall and jumped down the rocks trying to put as much distance between me and the guard as best I can. By the time I made it to the bottom, I knew there was no way he could follow me know. After catching my breath and I noticed a tower further down the river, it is home to the bandits of Skyrim. This will be easy picking for gold; I hurried down to the tower and hid behind a rock. I won’t be able to take them all on at once, I knew I had to lure them some were so I can fight them one at a time. I can see at the top of the tower there is a small platform, if I can make it up there, I will be able to kill them one by one as they run up the stairs to chase me.

So with all the stamina I had I rushed right into the tower and up the stairs, passing a few shocked bandits along the way. Once I made it to the top I unsheathed my sword and got into position waiting for them to follow me up. After a couple minutes of waiting I was surprise none followed, but then I heard steel clashing and agonizing screams of death. I looked over the ledge and I see the lone guardsmen with a few dead bandits at his feet, he was engaged in combat witch the bandit chief, a massive brute who wields a might great axe, but even he could not over power the Riverwood guard, he too was cut down by the lawman. With all the bandits dead the guard made his way into the tower. At this point I knew I was dead, how can I hope to kill this behemoth of a man, after he so effortlessly cut down a Sabertooth cat and put to rest an entire bandit camp. As he made his way up the stairs he said in a voice that only the terminator could mimic. “You have committed crimes against Skyrim and her people”
Well to make a long story short, he made me pay the fine for killing the chicken… the jerk took 45 gold. >.<

After taking your 45g, he takes off his mask, and lo and behold, you are looking at Chuck Norris! (Who else is gonna destroy wolves, sabertoothed tigers, and full bandit clans on a whim???!) You're lucky he didn't just catch up to you and roundhouse kick you!
User avatar
DAVId MArtInez
 
Posts: 3410
Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2007 1:16 am

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 4:52 am

interesting read, love the story :D
User avatar
Noely Ulloa
 
Posts: 3596
Joined: Tue Jul 04, 2006 1:33 am

Post » Mon May 14, 2012 4:40 am

This story made my -week-! Post this on Facebook!
User avatar
Princess Johnson
 
Posts: 3435
Joined: Wed Feb 07, 2007 5:44 pm


Return to V - Skyrim