here's the deal; currently just defeated Alduin, and wanted to try the peace option for the civil war after.

Neither Ulfric or Tullius give me a dialog that gives me the option to have them chat with the grey beards. I am also at the Message to Whiterun point of the quest where I have to deliver the axe to Ulfric. I'm assuming this is the block that I'd have to finish this and see whiterun burn which I don't want to do. Do I have a choice here? is there a way to abandon a quest? open to suggestions.

thanks