» Sat Oct 20, 2012 6:09 pm
Helpless people and animals make me very sad. Instances where somebody is caught in a situation far worse than they could ever deserve, or the death of a beloved pet. Unfortunately, reality is cruel and the world is full of this stuff, so it's difficult to stay away from it. My thoughts will sometimes drift into extremely grim areas, wondering how I would cope if somebody I loved was taken hostage and killed by a group of people, or crippled and unable to live a normal life anymore. If I ponder too much about that kind of stuff, I'll begin to cry. Every fiber of my being wants to live a life where neither me nor anybody else I care about experiences a hell like that, but the fact that it can very easily happen tortures me.
For instance, the girl I love, living 2,000 miles away from me, could get hit by a car and die tomorrow, and the only way I'd find out is if I contacted her family. And I'd be unable to attend her funeral...It would emotionally destroy me on every level imaginable, and I hate thinking about it. Even the opposite scenario crushes me. What if I died tomorrow, and she was left alone, being forced to move onto somebody else? Or what if she let her sadness overwhelm her and ended up doing something drastic? Eugh..