I can see where this is going...
I'll be in the kitchen, wanting a midnight snack, and my new-fangled smart-fridge is gonna start giving me crap about me being on a diet.
Fridge: Do you really think you should be having that turkey sandwich?
me: Shut the hell up.
Fridge: Okaaay.., but I was talking to the microwave who was talking to the vacuum cleaner earlier..
me: not listening.
Fridge: Aaand it said that it had overheard the electric razor talking to the scales in the bathroom, and you know what it had to say... hmmm?
me: seriously, shut.the.[censored].up.
Fridge: It saaaid.., that you're a BIG boy these days!
me: I'm warning you...
Fridge: You hefty.. uh-huh.. you biiig.. oh-yeah.. you fluffy.. aw yeah.. you bigger than big!
me: *walks out of kitchen, followed by howls of laughter from the rest of the appliances*
Fridge: That's right! Who the machine? Uh-huh.. chump. You just keep on waddling back to your sorry ass life of-
me: *walks back into the kitchen armed with mah 12 gauge*
Fridge: Hey.. listen.. you wouldn't shoot a fridge with an icemaker, would ya? Pal... Buddy?
[the following has been censored due to the gratuitous man on machine violence that would now occur]
the war on skynet starts in my kitchen...
