[marie breen]

Yeah! I've created more threads in these past 2 weeks than I have since I've been here.

Anyways, so I was at my cousin's party on Saturday and she has this cute cute friend. I've seen her in my cousin's pictures on Facebook a number of times so I was pretty familiar with how she looked beforehand and figured she'd be there. I wasn't entirely inclined at the time to talk to her though because I wasn't entirely interested outside of the physical attraction. Until I spent a few more hours there and went home, then I became interested more. Sort of useless at that time. Anyways yesterday I messaged my cousin on Facebook asking how old her friend was (they just graduated high school so I was just making sure everything was legal) and she said she was 18, then I asked her if she thought I was to old for her.

She didn't really know how old I was (been my cousin for like 7 years and we've talked less than a couple times before that party) so I told her I was almost 25 and she was like "idk her dad is very strict and would probably kill her." Now me being the rational person that I am said I wasn't that much older than her but she said 7 years apart was to much and that her dad was crazy.

So there's the story, now the question for you guys. I don't entirely know if I want to date this girl yet, I just want to talk to her first. But should I even bother now? She's 18, going to college (in state) and maybe not worth my time but she might be, so...

I'd have to do it through Facebook, at least at first because that's the only way I can contact her. Should I bother sending a message? I know what I want to do really..it's just I need more confidence in my decision and was hoping you guys could give some insight! I'm not even sure how to form the message without sounding like a creeper.

Personally I don't think her dad should care seeing as she's an advlt but I know how fathers can be so I'm kind of on the fence. I mean, she might not even like me so it might not even matter, I'd at least like to find out lol.

Oh and thank you for the JAHO (seeing as I'm not even trying to yet!) comments they're appreciated as much as dirt in the face.


On a side note, this is pretty much my luck with women..it's very discouraging and makes me not want to bother most of the time. I either get girls I'm not attracted to at all who get interested in me (not for a long time though) or I get interested in girls who either don't like me or something like the above story happens.

[Ian White]

As the saying goes, "I keep getting older, but the girls stay the same age."

IMO, 7 years is pushing it for the age range. If she were like 21 and you 28, thats not as weird, but 18-25, again, IMO, is.

[Max Van Morrison]

Here have some dirt in the face.

You would probably appreciate that as much as another comment I can think of.

[adame]

As the saying goes, "I keep getting older, but the girls stay the same age."

IMO, 7 years is pushing it for the age range. If she were like 21 and you 28, thats not as weird, but 18-25, again, IMO, is.

"Yes they do. Yes they do."

Try to talk to her and see where things go.

[Symone Velez]

18 and you're 25? She's younger than your http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Half-age-plus-seven-relationship-rule.svg limit. You'll need to wait until you're 28 before she's in your acceptable dating pool

[Aaron Clark]

I don't know man...she did just graduate high school.

[Ash]

Just message her on FB and ask her out. Then go over to her house, talk to her dad and tell him your age and then take her out.

Tbh, I don't think anything is going to happen. You are in lust, and you've talked to her a few times. You could give it a try. Good luck.

[Leticia Hernandez]

It is pushing it, but the heart wants what the heart wants.

Spoiler

Unless the heart wants it's stepdaughter. That's just creepy, man.

[Andrea Pratt]

Just putting it out there that I have a 10 year difference between my husband and we met when I was 15, dating at 18. If that ain't creepy to me then you're free to go for this girl.

Go for the message. I hate facebook, but.. the aforementioned relationship started online through email and then eventually "the real thing." At least you have the ability to see her more easily! My father was (and is) a similar type of guy as your interest's father, and he ended up being okay with it. I guess it depends on the impression you make, but that shouldn't be your concern yet. Just talk to her

(JTTH?)

[Emzy Baby!]

I'm assuming during the time you spent there with her and your cousin that you did talk to her at least a little bit and so she knows who you are? If so, I'd say give it a shot. Message her on Facebook and try to spark a conversation or something. Try to get more of an idea if she's interested and/or if you're actually interested, and then go from there. If all goes well, then JAHO.

If you don't go for it, then you'll never know. Might turn out to be nothing, might turn out to be awesome, but you won't know if you never try.

As far as the daddy issue goes, you can cross that road when/if you come to it.

[Max Van Morrison]

when you message her on facebook, be sure to include a link to this thread so she knows how sincere you are about wanting to date her.

[Neil]

Keep in mind that the maturity level and goals of someone in their mid to late 20s is very likely going to be considerably different from that of a fresh high school graduate.

There are 18 year olds who are very mature, and there are older advlts that never seem to grow up so that's certainly not a set in stone rule, but it's something to think about.

[tannis]

Keep in mind that the maturity level and goals of someone in their mid to late 20s is very likely going to be considerably different from that of a fresh high school graduate.

There are 18 year olds who are very mature, and there are older advlts that never seem to grow up so that's certainly not a set in stone rule, but it's something to think about.

Yeah I know, but I'm not your run of the mill 25 year old. Mature wise I'm a bit younger than my age, though I'm pretty responsible with my cash. Though I don't really have goals to get married or have a 6 figure job in the future, my future goals are the moment are a 401k and that's about it. So I don't think we'd have much of a problem there, the only thing I could see becoming an issue is me being above the drinking age and the fact that (from what I saw at the party) she likes to drink a bit.

when you message her on facebook, be sure to include a link to this thread so she knows how sincere you are about wanting to date her.

Lol yeah that would help out a lot!

I'm assuming during the time you spent there with her and your cousin that you did talk to her at least a little bit and so she knows who you are? If so, I'd say give it a shot. Message her on Facebook and try to spark a conversation or something. Try to get more of an idea if she's interested and/or if you're actually interested, and then go from there. If all goes well, then JAHO.

If you don't go for it, then you'll never know. Might turn out to be nothing, might turn out to be awesome, but you won't know if you never try.

As far as the daddy issue goes, you can cross that road when/if you come to it.

Not really, I'm really very shy and I might have said a few words to her but I doubt she knows or remembers who I am. That's where I have trouble on figuring out how to write the message. Not entirely sure how to approach it.

And yeah I'd rather take a chance instead of doing nothing about it.

[Victor Oropeza]

Just putting it out there that I have a 10 year difference between my husband and we met when I was 15, dating at 18. If that ain't creepy to me then you're free to go for this girl.

You are clearly just weird. 15 and 25? That's just damn creepy.

[Campbell]

18 and you're 25? She's younger than your http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Half-age-plus-seven-relationship-rule.svg limit. You'll need to wait until you're 28 before she's in your acceptable dating pool

This.

Plus, asking someone out via facebook is not the best way to go about things. You should get to know them in person before you start any kind of facebook relationships.

[Amelia Pritchard]

This.

Plus, asking someone out visa facebook is not the best way to go about things. You should get to know them in person before you start any kind of facebook relationships.

I would have loved to, but it's to late now and I don't know if I'll ever see her by chance again, so Facebook is the only way I have to contact her.

[kat no x]

I would have loved to, but it's to late now and I don't know if I'll ever see her by chance again, so Facebook is the only way I have to contact her.

Try calling her? That's about the only other option I can think of. But I'm old (31) and I don't know how you kids start relationships these days. Maybe facebook has become acceptable and I missed the memo, it is entirely in the realm of possibility. Best of luck with whatever method you choose and make sure you let us all know how it goes.

[Emma Copeland]

Well, this post is more or less of an excuse to see my new avatar so...

Jaho?

[Luna Lovegood]

Try calling her? That's about the only other option I can think of. But I'm old (31) and I don't know how you kids start relationships these days. Maybe facebook has become acceptable and I missed the memo, it is entirely in the realm of possibility. Best of luck with whatever method you choose and make sure you let us all know how it goes.

Thanks and I don't know her number so I can't call her lol, like I said Facebook is pretty much the only and least creepy way I have to contact her outside of asking for her phone number which uh I won't do unless I ask her (IE not gonna ask my cousin for it!) .

[Emily Graham]

you feel bad about posting threads? be me
also age is sorta big to me
but if your legal advlts
so what?

[Ross Zombie]

Seriously, this has bad mojo written all over it my friend. I would just forget about it, She is a young girl about to have a lot of fun at college. Whatever relationship you develop will have to deal with that. Then you have to be that random guy on facebook she met like once who is asking her out. If she is really attractive she is probably desensitized to that and since you are her friends cousin it puts her in an awkward position which she will not thank you for. Neither will your cousin even though you are not close. Idk if you are aware of how 18 year old girls tend to be now a days either. If she is one of the cool ones then that is all well and good, but children of my generation have this idea that college is for partying not learning. Their priorities are all kinds of mixed up. I am in a University now and it is a major problem that seems to be representative of elsewhere.

The most important thing to ask is...
How much do you know of this girl?

[suzan]

Seriously, this has bad mojo written all over it my friend. I would just forget about it, She is a young girl about to have a lot of fun at college. Whatever relationship you develop will have to deal with that. Then you have to be that random guy on facebook she met like once who is asking her out. If she is really attractive she is probably desensitized to that and since you are her friends cousin it puts her in an awkward position which she will not thank you for. Neither will your cousin even though you are not close. Idk if you are aware of how 18 year old girls tend to be now a days either. If she is one of the cool ones then that is all well and good, but children of my generation have this idea that college is for partying not learning. Their priorities are all kinds of mixed up. I am in a University now and it is a major problem that seems to be representative of elsewhere.

The most important thing to ask is...
How much do you know of this girl?

Nothing, that's what I'm trying to find out. I'm not even attempting to get into a relationship with her, I just want to talk with her and find out if she is someone I'd like to be in a relationship with. I know how girls act in college and if I was to get dumped early on, oh well it's an experience. (yes I know I wouldn't be saying that at the time, I tend to be optimistic about most things though lol even though that was kind of negative)

It doesn't seem weird to me at all probably because I don't act my age. I mean, I act like an advlt but I don't have the general demeanor of a man my age. So I see it as just a number, after 18 of course. Even though I know a lot of "growing up" usually or is suppose to happen in between 18 and 25. I still feel around 21/22.



EDIT:
Well I sent her a message saying what's up basically. So I'll let you guys know if she completely rejects me or..if I have to ask for more help on how to deal with her father lol