The guards in riften are odd. For example, I am on the lower parts by the water and I break into some guys house. Now there is no one around for miles when I do this and I made sure no one saw me. I kill the guy inside and the guards come in a second later (like 4 of them) and slaughter me - NO ONE SAW ME GO IN.....and the guy never ran from the house....

Guard: i never used to have super hearing but then (yeah you know how it goes)

The guards will hear people make a noise, like how that works in real life, you can just sneak into someones house and kill them because they will make a lot of noise

I don't always have psychic order to the elements of the soul and a preemptive ability to sense when crime goes down,

but when I do...

its only when you're killing that guy for his skooma at night, in the dark, with nobody around...

Nope, I didn't know the Thalmor were actually dragging people out of their homes and killing them in my own city...but I did know that you stole that horse 30 miles away...

They have the "Criminal Scum sense" mutation, much like Cyrodiils guards, but it's not that advanced this time.

I had something simular happen to me.

When I murdered Grelod the kind behind closed doors, compleatly hidden and a succesful sneak attack, all the children suddenly opened the door and started cheering. Nobody outside cared though.

Whats stranger than that? I fast travelled to whiterun afterwards and one of the gaurds at the gate told me how they saw me come out of the building... How?

Guards talk to f'ing much in Skyrim. They never have anything to say, yet their lips are always flapping about what they heard or saw you do. They should worry more about doing guard stuff and less about being nosy old crones always in the Dovahkiin's business.

I despise the guards in Skyrim more than the Thalmor.

Also, next time you murder someone in their home, make sure it's a sneak attack. The animation looks cooler (if you slit their throat) and no one will ever know about it.

I don't recall that skooma addict.

When I murdered her, I did it openly using my fists, triggering an awesome kill animation that consisted of me grabbing her shoulder with one hand and just pounding her face in with the other. The kids were cheering me on for having done it while the assistant kept running around the building in "flee mode" because of me.

And the first guard I saw after I walked out of there?

"Keep your hands to yourself, sneak-thief."

Hey, no problem! After I help myself to your gold and arrows, of course.

HEY!...PSSST!----Whispering RIGHT NEAR THE JARL OF WHITERUNS Housecarl!----I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! HAIL SITHIS!

Was the FUNNIEST Thing I have heard a Guard say to me.

I literally had to stop...pause...and laugh cause he said "Hail Sithis!" in his Arnie voice!