Cracked Skyrim Article : V

» Thu Jun 14, 2012 4:30 am

I came across this in my favourites. Its only funny because its true... especially the last part. :biggrin:

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-personality-flaws-skyrim-forces-you-to-deal-with/

» Thu Jun 14, 2012 1:05 am

I thought you meant "cracked" like "leaked"...

» Thu Jun 14, 2012 4:27 am

Yeah saw that article a while back, scary how true it is. Watching my girlfriend play is sometimes more fun than actually playing. Chasing a butterfly for 5 minutes with her tongue poking out the side of her mouth, screaming as a dragon swoops down or a Draugr comes out of a tomb, raging at Lydia and blaming everything and anything on her.

» Thu Jun 14, 2012 4:37 am

Yeah saw that article a while back, scary how true it is. Watching my girlfriend play is sometimes more fun than actually playing. Chasing a butterfly for 5 minutes with her tongue poking out the side of her mouth, screaming as a dragon swoops down or a Draugr comes out of a tomb, raging at Lydia and blaming everything and anything on her.

That sounds just like my gf too!

I have watched her chasing a butterfly for 30 minutes, going from "ahh how cute" to "stay still" to "oh for goodness sake.... aaahhh, a dragon!"

They probably say similar things about us. I know i can rage when i get killed and have forgot to save. Its always a "cheap" death and its all the games fault of course for daring to have things in it that can kill me in way that i don't want to die or when i wasn't ready!

In fact my gf has told me off for my shouting out random things while shes watching the tv. She of course has no idea what is going on, as i use headphones, so it must sound strange when out of the blue i'm like "WTF ARE YOU DOING? GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

Shes also pointed out that one minute i'm roaring at the screen, saying that the game is broken, after being one shotted by a forsworn archer or something then the next i'm calling her over to show her something and saying how great the game is. :lol:

» Wed Jun 13, 2012 6:40 pm

I thought you meant "cracked" like "leaked"...

sorry, i could have been clearer

by leaked do you mean pirated?

» Wed Jun 13, 2012 9:19 pm

King: Wanderer! Thank the gods you've come! The prophecy told us that a mighty warrior would arise, worthy of wielding Fjalnir, the God-axe, and slaying the evil Demon Prince Synraith. We believe you to be that warrior. What say you, traveler? Will you accept this task?

Me: Yea, verily I shall accept thine task and vanq- wait, Synraith? Fiery dude in a floating city? Cape made out of screeching souls? Ahhh, [censored]. I already killed that guy.

King: You ... already slew the Demon Prince, the Knife in the Dark, the Void at the Heart of All Men, whose identity you did not learn until just now?

Me: Yup. I saw that castle floating up in the sky, and I wanted to know if I could jump up the rocks to get in the back way. It took a lot of reloads, but I finally managed to hop on up in there.

King: You "hopped on up" into the Abyssal Palace?

Me: Yeeeep, yep yep yep. Just squat-jumped on in there and looted the place. Then I killed that Sydney guy-

King: Synraith, Demon Prince of the Abyss.

Me: -yeah him. I ganked that guy. Mostly just to see if I could. Plus he looked like kind of a dike.

King: Indeed, the Foulest of the Foul was "kind of a dike." But you vanquished him without the aid of sacred Fjalnir, the God-axe?

Me: Totally. It wasn't even a thing. I just hid on top of a bookshelf where he couldn't reach me and shot him with arrows. Then I waited until he forgot I was shooting him, and did it all again to get the sneak damage bonus. Took a while, but he died all the same.

King: Forsooth! Thine heroic deeds are ... well, that sounds kind of [censored] up, actually. Never thought I'd feel bad for He Who Devours. So you have no need of our sacred totem weapon?

Me: What, the gold dealy, with the shiny bits? Nah, I already stole that out of the display case four hours ago, before I knew who you were. I gave it to Sven, but he Quantum Leaped out of the game with that [censored].

King: Huh. So. I guess ... the bards will ... sing of your tale now?

Me: Oh yeah? Sweet, let's hear it.

Bard: The hero came with eyes aflame / his tasks already done / the land was rescued all the same / but 'tis kind of a [censored] song.

Me: Word.

SOO BLOODY FUNNY

» Thu Jun 14, 2012 2:41 am

I read that before. In fact I quoted the conversation between "King" and "Me" (on the 2nd page) on another forum. That had me crying.

» Wed Jun 13, 2012 11:02 pm

Yeah saw that article a while back, scary how true it is. Watching my girlfriend play is sometimes more fun than actually playing. Chasing a butterfly for 5 minutes with her tongue poking out the side of her mouth, screaming as a dragon swoops down or a Draugr comes out of a tomb, raging at Lydia and blaming everything and anything on her.

I like to shout at butterflies, then pick their wings up off the ground

» Thu Jun 14, 2012 4:01 am

Lol that was a great article.

» Wed Jun 13, 2012 11:22 pm

I like to shout at butterflies, then pick their wings up off the ground :smile:

» Wed Jun 13, 2012 2:00 pm

Very good article. I like his humor.

» Wed Jun 13, 2012 4:06 pm

Yeah, definitely one of my all time favourite articles. The conversation with the king had me in stitches for ages. It keeps popping into my head and making me laugh at inappropriate times

I didn't know what it was at first, when i came across it in my favourites. I remember reading it now but i had totally forgotten about it. I had to clear them out, i had literally hundreds.
I'll post if i find any other tes related funnies.

» Thu Jun 14, 2012 3:06 am

sorry, i could have been clearer

by leaked do you mean pirated?

No, like leaked information about the DLC.