How do you get around to the girlfriend/boyfriend stage? Are you long time friends, then you start going out? OR, are you the kinda person that dives straight into it?

The idea of the later has always boggled my mind, I don't think it's possible for me to dive straight into something that you hope turns out to be a relationship. I don't go out "hunting" for girls either. If someone enters my life and I become fond of them, it'll start out as friendship and work from there. I see friendship as insight to what they are like, if they aren't girlfriend/boyfriend "material" then you can remain friends. I guess most people see the dating part as getting to know them, but it seems all so sudden for me, especially if it's someone I've only met once or twice before and I'm basing my opinions on them from those few encounters.

It seems that every girl I get very close to in a friendship, I end up falling for (and usually vice versa). Is anyone else like this? I have many friends that are girls, but when I ever get too close to one, I end up falling for them. It would seem I can't have a girl best friend

And just for a side note: the stereotypical dinner date further boggles my mind. How can you sit at a table with someone you barely know, discuss your life and chomp down food in front of their face? That screams awkward to me :bonk:

JAHO.

My girlfriend right now was, before we started dating, my best friend for my entire first year of university. So, I guess I'm kinda with you on this one. Maybe I just don't have the confidence or something, but asking someone you just met on a date seems strange to me. I'd rather get to know the person in a more relaxed way.

Took me a while to understand what you meant by that... but it soon hit me
I'm not having that sort of problem at all. It's just an open discussion I hope to see people's insight on.

I personally start out as friends, then let her know I'm interested via my devious means. Then I gauge her interest level, recycling said devious means. And if everything falls into place, I JAHO.

But that would only get me a date. After several dates and hanging out as "more than just friends" (possibly getting intimate once or twice) I tell her how I feel and ask if she would like to make it official. The "friend zone" thing is just a myth. At least in my experience.

If you go hunting for girlfriends, you'll never catch one.

Girlfriends appear out of thin air when you least expect it.

A successful relationship pretty much requires everyone involved to be friends. Too often I see people in relationships where they view their girlfriend/boyfriend and their friends to be separate, as though their partner is not their friend, but is something separate. My last girlfriend was also my best friend.

If I wanted a real long-lasting intimate relationship with someone, then I'd pretty much need that person to also be my best friend or really high-up on my list of friends. You need to be friends to feel comfortable around each other, to get along, to share yourself with your partner and to allow your partner to share themselves with you, and you need to trust each other. That said, I could also see having a relationship just for fun, not a really serious thing, but just having someone to touch and feel comfort and have six with, and not really a long-term thing, but even thing, I imagine it would be way better if that person was also a friend.

:thumbsup:

That's right. The man who can do best with women is the one who can do best without them.

NO U!




I love how, no matter what, Holy is always present in every Relationship Thread.

Always.

OT:

Personally, a lot of my relationships have evolved from friends. Though, I usually do become friends with girls I'm into and try to see if we can become more then "friends", so I'm not sure if it counts.

This post combined with your signature, has lead me to the conclusion that you are my long lost brother.

They're like raptors. You focus your attention on the one ahead of you that's pretending it doesn't know you're there, and then bam, the one you never saw moves in from the side for the kill.

And then it stares at you for what seems like months, and finally rips your heart out.

I used to think girls weren't confusing. Now, I can't seem to find a girl I really and truly like, and the one I do kinda like, I'm too scared to go up and talk to. You can probably tell that I'm the "get to know her" type of guy.

Well, I'm going to sound like the ass now... I dive right into it, I find the friend stage to be to confusing and dramatic, and one person usually gets hurt. This has happened both to me, where I wanted a relationship and she didn't, and vice versa. This also goes for fwbs, what a nightmare that can be. I don't really go hunting, but if I see someone I like I go talk to them and get to know them for a bit. This works good for me, but a lot of times people just see me as that [censored] that steals their girl they've been friends with but want more.

I don't go hunting but I do JAHO

What is this 'JAHO'?

You must be new here, 'Just ask her out', it's the answer to any relationship question here.

Been on the forums about a year and a half now, and I hadn't heard it until recently. :shrug:

What if the man who can do best without them can't do best with them???

That's how I used to be, but then I got introduced to some...confidence building workshops. :thumbsup:

I don't have problems with women anymore.

I put guys in the friend zone all the time, so it's definitely not a myth. Maybe it just hasn't happened to you. You can be friends with someone without having been put in the "friend zone", but it definitely exists!

Though, to be honest, there's a certain type of guy that just gets friend zoned. Some people don't belong in that zone at all, period, and they're always possibly interesting in more than just the friend way. Categorizing people is complicated.

Just curious, would you say its the guy who is willing to do anything, at whatever time for you? I have a few friends complaining about that right now but they're always at that girls beck and call.

Aren't they normally called prosttutes?

:foodndrink:

It's my calling.



Well, maybe there is a certain group of people of the opposite six (or same six, if the person prefers) that one would like to keep as friends as nothing more, but I don't think that it's permanently set in stone and that the person can never, under any circumstances eventually be in a relationship with that other person. If there is such thing as a friend zone in someone's mind, I'm sure there's a way to break out of it. Usually not seeing the person for a very long time and then suddenly meeting them much later as a completely changed man/woman does the trick.

Edit: Also... of course it hasn't happened to me. I'm... me! B)

Speaking from just my own personal experience, yeah, pretty much. The ones that are too nice aren't interesting at all, they're just nice friends. Being constantly adored and doted upon gets old really fast. I'm pretty sure it depends on the girl in question, though.

I've tried metaphorical dynamite to get out the friends zone. I'm easily a high ranking member of the community in there.

Then again i'm not you...that may be my problem


As a side note: Feels good to get the first JAHO of the thread.