Lately, I've been feeling rather down, and I know why. I'm beginning to realize how difficult it is for me to make friends or even get along with people in general. I feel inferior when I come onto forums like this one, because most everyone around me are so much more educated and witty. I then go into chat rooms with people several years below my age and I'm constantly ridiculed for "being too serious" and simply wanting to have civil conversation.

To add onto that, I can't find the motivation to do anything. I just wake up each day and chat, play games, and do the occasional house chore. I've put in many job applications with no responses, I'm too awkward and shy to express these emotions to people outside of the internet (Which is the worst place to ever show an emotion, apparently).

I feel like I'm going nowhere and that I belong nowhere. I'm naturally inclined to be negative and critical, even of the things I like. As a result, I often get on everyone's bad side because they make me out to be some cynical bastard who wants to start [censored] with them. I can't count how many times somebody's expressed their opinion about how I act with "Sub, what DO you like?".

If somebody gets hostile with me, instead of backing off and trying to reason with them, I throw back against them with equal or greater hostility, worsening the situation and often making a fool out of myself in the end.

I often trick myself into thinking I support a cause and fully understand something, but I'm quickly shot down by someone who thinks more with their mind and less with their heart. I can't argue facts with opinions, but I keep trying to and it's making my life hell. I've tried countless times to stop acting the way I do, but to no avail.

People in chat rooms and such all seem to be enjoying their lives, while I hang around lurking and wishing I were one of them instead of this boring, judgmental jerk I've become. I honestly don't know where to turn anymore. If I go get "help", I'll simply focus on my sad feelings in a pathetic attempt to make them pity me, not help me. Pity has become something I crave, and of course, that makes me feel selfish and like crap.

Many of my friends are drifting from me, either because I'm unpleasant to be around or, in a recent case, they open up to me and I give up on them, preferring only to wallow in my own self pity than bother myself with other people's problems.

Who the hell could read all of that and not think I'm a [censored]? :laugh: Seriously...Sorry for all the negativity. On top of my depressed mood, I'm tired and need some sleep as well. I urge you all to see if you can get through to me. But like the above stated, my stubbornness and crap attitude will make it difficult.

you sound similar to me... I ended up getting a job, it took 2 years and I had to pull strings to get it. I don't make many friends, never have, don't actually want to either.

So, are you just akward and in a rut?

or are you self loathing like me?

if your akward, just go to places where there are people and talk to them. you'll be that creep that people think is weird for a while, but eventually as social scenes change and when most of the people who were there before you are gone and every one around you is new, fresh and just as awkard as you are now you will seem to them a charismatic person whom they would like to be more like.

or if you are like me, kick back and watch the world burn with a crooked smile :thumbsup:

Sounds pretty normal to me :shrug: In terms of motivation, find something to work towards, something that gets you excited. In terms of communities, find a place that has more people older, serious folk (if you're into that sort of things). In terms of shyness, all you can really do is either man up and get over it (if it's bothering you), or continue living with it (if its not).

Remember that most people around here, or around anywhere, probably aren't any more educated, witty, or successful than you. We're all a bunch of antisocial nerds hanging around on a videogame forum.

Funny. I've been having trouble coming up with advice lately...

... Hmmm... I just think you should stop being so outgoing, and move at your own pace. Crap advice. I know.

I read it all, which surprised me. I have the attention span of a monkey. :sadvaultboy:

I'm in a similar position you are. While I don't have much trouble making friends, I am rather cynical and pessimistic at times. I can have fun, but I have a very dry sense of humor that a lot of people take for me being too serious. It really depends on who you meet, and what you put up with. If someone looks down on me for the way that I think, I tend to shut them out entirely and I think I'm the better for it. I know that makes me sound even more cynical, but I believe that there are some people that you simply can't connect with, and there's nothing wrong with that. If someone is immature enough to assume that your opinions matter less because of the way you present them, that's all the more reason to ignore them.



I think that's where you have a problem, and I can't really help you with that, as I'm the exact opposite. While I can be rather cynical, if someone comes to me with a problem I generally try to help them, or, at the very least, sympathize. All I can really say is that helping people that come to you might eliminate some of the selfishness you've described, and possibly win you some friends.

I know I contradicted myself a few times in there, but it really comes down to choosing what people to spend your time on. Some simply aren't worth it, and you shouldn't feel the worse for not getting a long with them. But at the same time you should try to find people that think in similar ways to you, and try to connect with them.

Edit- Nevermind, my advice svcks.

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger." -Buddha
"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him." -Buddha
"Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind." -Buddha
"Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without." -Buddha

Forget about everyone focus on yourself.

EDIT: If you need more help just stop by ill give you free beer.

HOLY CRAP you sound like me at times!
I am not accuatly in the same boat as you but similar to what I keep quoted.
I feel pretty close to emotions in some ways so I will detail on how I feel like [censored] at times and maybe we could talk and see where it goes because I think two people feeling like [censored] can fix each other up.

I feel like I can't do anything in this world to help or save people while most [censored] rich folks in their mansion just sit caring about nothing about the thousands of people dieing because their basic civil rights are being violated , also people are still dieing in a war that has started between to different types of groups of people over some small piece of land in the middle east. I don't understand how people just do all this horrible [censored] and do not understand it is restricting the human race in the long run billions of people have been killed or died because the inability for us humans to work together if we haven't fought all these [censored] wars we might be in a better place than we are now. But I know I can't force my beliefs on other people because I would be no better than hitler or any other person because they believed they knew the answer to all the problems.

I do feel it is hard for be to keep my friends together even more so I have neglected to talk to them or acknowledge them, I just don't know why I don't want to see them and I don't know how to talk to them everything in my life right now and this year is sooo putting pressure on me. Going to college , family , suicide of a close friend of mine, transitioning to become a women and other things. I never feel at ease I feel like I have to separate myself from other people and reality so that I feel not strained and exhausted from all this stuff has put on me. Video games and shows are more like a drug or something to nullify the pressure and the pain I have felt now and what has happened this year.

And for feeling helpless and wanting somebody to help I have that feeling that as well. Even though when my friend killed himself I didn't know who to turn to I still feel like I am suffering and it will never stop. I want [censored] answers and I know I will never get him from Justin. I shared all the skeletons in my closet and secrets about me and me being wanting to become to a woman and I thought he would turn to me for his suffering but no ! He just had to make everyone else suffer and not ask for anyone's help . I still feel to this day I could of helped but I am told I couldn't by other people. Why couldn't he cry on my shoulder for help I did it so many [censored] times for him.

So whatever your real name is Sub you can cry on my shoulder if you want , I don't anyone else I know to go down my friend's route.

I've read your whole post & while your life may not be what you'd like you just gotta keep plugging away
you might try volunteering your time at some place.

I'd guess you likey the PONIES you could try making pony art or a fic

Of the posts I've seen you don't seem to be a jerk though you may be a bit hard on yourself

A kindred spirit.

To the OP, it is tough. I don't have a lot of friends, and the ones I have, I'm probably not very nice to. But they accept that I at least treat them fairly to the way I treat everyone else. Maybe you should look at the friends you say you gave up on. Empathy isn't easy, but maybe you could try helping them with their problems. It might help you feel better about yourself. Or you could lose patience with them and tell them to [censored] off. But maybe at least give it a shot.

Friends? HAHAHAHA... Who needs friends?



Serious protip: Never ever rely/depend on anyone but yourself. People are *insert random censored word*'s, and will always let you down. Best thing to do is to (in my experience) is to convince yourself it'll be better tomorrow/soon... Even though deep down you know it'll be just as bad, or worse.

Good luck!

Stop self pittieing/loathing yourself its weak.

Stop being so emotional and be logical.

There is no benefit in depression, be more proactive.

Two thirds of your post is weak.

Eh, I'm not sure. Perhaps a bit of both. There are a lot of things about myself I can't stand, and I've got self esteem issues regarding my physical appearance to make things worse.




I do try to ignore them, trust me, but I have a severe dislike for, well, being disliked. If somebody expresses their negative feelings for me or get hostile with me, I'm never comfortable around them ever again. I always wonder what they're thinking, or if I ignore them, what they're saying behind my back. You are right, though. It's better than getting into constant fights.

And yeah, being a better person to people in need would be a huge improvement. It's hard sometimes, though. The one I gave up on just a while ago had been depressed for at least a year now, and I had finally had enough. I was sick of giving him pep talks only for them to go nowhere with him, so I told wished him luck and left...



Haha, I think the last thing I need right now is alcohol. I've been sober all my life and I plan to keep it that way (I know it was a joke, though). That Buddha, I tell you...dude knows how to chill. I could learn a thing or two.



Wow..I don't know how I'd be able to cope with losing someone like that, especially my best friend. Then again, I hardly see my best friend anymore because he's in the Navy and I'm here, stuck at home and doing nothing productive. Not sure about crying..I prefer crying into my pillow in my dark bedroom, and even then, I feel too embarrassed (even in absolute privacy) to do anything more than make an epic sad face and drain my eyes out. :laugh: Thanks for the offer, though.



I do love me some MLP. I'm likely attracted to the show largely because of it's consistently cheery and optimistic attitude. In a way, watching it fills that void inside me where kindness and compassion used to take residence.

And believe me, I'm quite the jerk at times, especially in chat rooms. Some of you would be shocked to see how I act in those sometimes..It's like watching the AVGN, only not remotely funny and with a bad case of manic depression.



Which is sorta what happened in the end. I didn't block him or anything, so if he wants to talk, then I'll try and see if I can help. Again.

Anyway, thanks for all the advice, guys. It's three in the morning and I need rest, so I'm gonna turn in for the night. Watch, I'll feel like a million bucks tomorrow completely out of the blue. These feelings come to me in waves, they don't stick around long enough to do any permanent damage. Yet.

I can't do much. But if it makes you feel any better, I vary rarely have any amount of truly witty wit in my posts.

That's what I'm saying, though. Those thoughts are more damaging than the initial insult from them. I know it's hard, but you'll feel a lot better if you can completely shut them out of your thoughts. They aren't worth your time or brain power.

As for your friend, you may have been able to handle it better but I don't think you were wrong for doing what you did. It's one thing to help out someone in need, but it's another for them to take advantage of you when they should have been seeking professional help. You have to live your life too, you can't dedicate it to everyone who comes asking for help.

First of all ask yourself Do I care about people or people's feelings.
The answer will be NO.
Just as they don't give a rats bottom about you. Friendship and social interaction is one big charade. It's not that different from monkeys flea-ing eachother.
Either you go along with the puppet show or you don't.

Deciding not to go along will alow you to observe the human race from the sidelines and see them for what they really are.

At first you'll be full of sadness and hatred but eventually you'll learn to let go and you'll be very releaved you didn't fall for all the [censored].
Even later than that you'll stop feeling anything. Pain will be a nice change and eventually death will embrace you.

It's not all that bad.

If I may be blunt, that's terrible advice. It will only make things worse. Some people should be shut out, but you simply can't ignore everyone, and not having friends or social interaction only leads to a bitter, boring existence. That's when you start to dwell on what's wrong with you and become depressed - or worse.

Nah, forcing yourself to fit in when it doesn't bring you any joy is a bad idea. Spending that energy on stuff you actually enjoy is far better.
get a hamster, call him Jim and he'll be as much of a friend as any human would be.
Oh wait, they don't live that long... Get an elephant. Or make up an elephant. Life's too short to try to get along with people.

Are trying to be serious or making a mockery of this thread?
Sure pets are nice to have but they can't replace people who can express their feelings in ways pets can't. And of course everyone is not going to get along unfortunately but practically everyone fits into some group of people where they can belong and feel at home just some people have trouble doing so.

JAHO.

O, wai...

What Fishy said. I don't claim to know what you've been through, but there is absolutely no benefit of thinking like that, nor is what you said true. If you don't have anything to say that can help Sub, you should probably get out of the thread.

All I'm saying is, don't do stuff you don't like doing. If interacting with people isn't your thing. Stop trying, or try again later.
Tons of people get on just fine on their own.

Do you want to get along with people? Do they bring you joy? Fine, have fun with your friends.
If not, there are other ways to entertain yourself.

Crazy cat ladies never seem that unhappy to me.

Cause they might be crazy. Mental issue there. Sure there is people who may not want people around them but just saying since Sub has problems with his friends he should just abandon them is just crazy. Not many people could just be on their own 100% of the time and I don't think Sub is one of those few people who can have those traits.

Wow, is your happiness really that dependant on other people?

Well, okay.

Yes sir I will. leave this thread sir!
Immediately sir! :dry: