Met the love of my life in november last year. First girl I fell in love with, but this is not the first time. I say first time, because the emotions werre something I had never experienced, and I tell you, I have had many crushes on many girls in my life.. this was beyond any of that.

I flew to Greece from the US to see her. It was the best..week..in my life.

Due to complications that occurred 4 weeks later, she left me. Apparently, one too many arguments. What I was not prepared for, was the maddening withdrawal and the hard ass time adjusting to a whole new level of loneliness. For 4 months I tried to get her back, but as my sanity continued to slip away, I only made it worse on my self.

It's baffling..and it hurt the most, how she was able to go from loving me, to being a complete brick. As if I never mattered to her at all.


She says, all I want is to be lovers(due to my countless attempts at rekindling)..she declared she's "destined" to be alone. Now all Im doing is trying to restore some peace between us. She has no net right now, and I've been sending a few emails, since one longstanding thing about her is, she likes hearing from me.

In the relationship scene, I have been wanting to give up. And yes I am currently in depression and I'm not asking for help with that here. It's just to give you an idea of what varying state of mind I'm in. Everyday I sit here, wishing she was still with me. It's not as bad as it was when she left though.

I just don't know what to do anymore. My mom tells me..and she played a huge role in helping me recover, that there might be an even greater love out there..and she emphasized, that every time the love will be different.

And I never asked her out. We were friends for a month and got close really quick. One day I told her I loved her and asked did she feel the same. It went from there.


I have lost interest in a lot of things, I want someone new to come along, but I know, looking only draws the worse. But I also waited..10 years..for her.

Heh, I got nothing. And this post makes no sense.

Post removed, that was stupid and pointless of me to say.

Well it looks like you're going to receive equally as sensible responses. See? Sub_Tonic has already paved the way.

I'm a little confused. You say you've been waiting for her for 10 years...but you only have known her for a year? Do you mean you've been searching for love for the last 10 years?

In regards to her beliefs in your true agenda (rekindling that love). Somewhere deep inside, you know thats what you want to do? Is it not?

Well, are ya guys in contact with each other? If so, just start over slowly again and see if she is the "one" for ya. If not, then you guys can try to be friends.

If thats not the case, well there other fishy in the sea and take life one step at a time. Seeing ya mention that ya haven't seek help for ya problems, that might be a good idea to find help.

You know what this means right?

Strip Joint

That will make you feel better

Yeah I was searching for 10 years and happened to stumble upon her. I've only know her for close to a year. We dated from November 13th 2010 to May 23rd 2011.

And yes it's what I want to do. But she would come off like its such a terrible thing.

I donno.. Part of me wants to move on, while the other part of me, keeps hanging on to her. She also thought I was not going to wait for her to get done with art school..one of the reasons she left me. Guess she'll be surprised whenever she can check her email, to find I'm still there.

I am imagining the wind blowing leaves past dramatically as she declares "I am destined to be alone!"

If you were having lots of arguments and you have rollercoaster emotions... you need to chill out I guess. Try and be calm and get your [censored] together and maybe that will impress her.

You waited 10 years for this woman? It sounds like you've been looking over a lot of other potential mates in that time because you seem to be suffering from "oneitis" - where you think there is one and only one soul mate for you. That's not usually what people find in their lives but you won't know this until you put yourself out there and start dating other women.

It's difficult because when you're hurting the last thing one seems to want to do is subject themselves to even more hurting.

However most people in the world have been hurt. Many people get stuck while others just push beyond and find another person to love. Nearly everyone I've talked to says they're better off moving on because once it's over, it's over. The pain comes from trying to hold onto something that's gone.

It isn't easy but you can over come this. You can live a happy and healthy life and your mom is right, there is likely a much better love out there waiting for you.

Also when I read about "too many arguments" it seems to me that those might come from the fact that you're in love with what you think this woman is, not what she actually is. So your arguments are likely an attempt to get her to change into the person of your dreams. If this is so, she's also probably knowledgeable of this and ended it because she can't live a lie and you're not seeing the "real" her. I could be wrong but those are the things I've experienced in my life.

When I'm open and honest and accepting of the women in my life, I don't argue with them very much. It's just acceptance. Sure.....disagreements happen but when they're happening on a regular basis, there's a reason and 99% of the time the reason is because one party is unwilling or unable to just be honest with the other.

So the cure is not to sit around thinking about all this. The cure is to get out there and live your life.

As I've been told many times and something that has really helped me a lot is that, "You can't think your way into right living. You have to live your way into right thinking."

Good luck to you.

Steps to recovery

1) get drunk
2) go to strip club
3) blow entire pay check on lap dances by stripper the exact opposite of girl
4) touch the stripper
5) fight the bouncers
6) oooohhhhhh yyyyeeeeaaaahhhhhh

Despite how good this sounds I'm going to have to give you some different advice:

I know exactly what you've been through, but your case is different from mine in the sense that you still have something left to salvage. You still write to her and she reads your words. Use this to your advantage and say whatever you must to win her heart back. I can't say I have any experience winning back a girl I've lost once, but I can wish you good luck. I sincerely hope you succeed where I failed.








Seriously though, right now I feeling like falling in love and breaking up just so I can follow Kronus' advice...

If your 26 or younger don't trip.

Fix'd

In my experiences, whenever the arguments start, and the break ups and get back togethers happen. That is when I start to realize that I am not trying to get back with the girl because I "love" her. I am trying to get back with them because I am just used to being with them, not being with them is just a shock to the brain that makes me want to fight for the relationship to work. I ask myself if I truly do love them, the answer is always no. That is when I can move on.

When you meet the person that is right for you, you will know it.

Nah don't do that, it's not fun wasting all your money on that. But if you have to, I recommend VIP room. You won't have to fight any bouncers there for touching, (well unless you do it unwarranted I guess).

Anyways, Terra your mom is right. Don't dwell on things that are in the past, try to look forward to the future and live your life for it. Maybe your girl will come back to you and things will be different, but maybe not. So you gotta live your life for the future, I can understand wanting to wait for her to come back, and not hooking up with someone else in case she does..but I think that only keeps you hurting in the end..because you can't be 100% sure of what's going to happen. But you can be 100% sure that you're hurting and dwelling on it isn't good for you. So do what's good for you, and try to put her behind you as much as possible, you obviously will never forget about her (well maybe when you are way older) but you can make the feelings lie dormant or brick them off completely. (I'm tired so I don't know if this made any sense)

If you're adamant about being with her (which it seems you are) I would wait until she's in a position where you guys can be around each other constantly. Until that time, I'd try testing the waters out, because you might find someone who can better fulfill your needs, and you theirs.

Hopefully this advice helped in some way and wasn't completely confusing haha.

.

32

I'll buy that, maybe even 34 Max.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0714IbwC3HA

OP, what you need to understand is, that "special" feeling you have with that person wasn't predetermined. IE, there are more fish in the sea that will bite your hook. (that sounded absurdly sixual)

What I'm saying is, you bonded with this girl and made her that special. That special can be made, but it can't be dissolved by any normal means, in other words, you can't just "stop" feeling that way towards someone, that trust and special feeling has to be broken.

But it will pass, because she's not special. She is only special because you say she is special, and that time spent made her special. Any woman can fill that role in your life, you just don't want to try. You can't hold onto her forever; eventually, you have to let it go and move on. That's the normal thing to do.

Also, you aren't the only person in the world to go through this. Your life isn't over, just like no one else's life has EVER been over because someone else left their life. That's just an emotional response clouded by your emotional state.

Not to be nitpickin', but that's not true.


Aaaaanyway... What can I say? Female-Dogs be crazy.

When I went through a similar event in my life (that time I actually had been a complete [censored], and deserved what I got, but that's besides the point) my first reaction was depression, my first solution was to get drunk, every night.

Depression caused me to eat antidepressives, which made me very sensitive to alcohol, which meant that I could get a reeeeaally cheap intoxication once I figured out about how much I needed to get that good feelin'.

After about 2 weeks of getting drunk (not constantly, but alot) I realized that she just wasn't worth it.

And then I relapsed into missing her and got drunk for another solid week.

At this point I was pretty bored... So I started hanging out with friends again, and tried to focus on better things. Took me probably about 6-ish months before I really got over her.


Aaaand since then I aint been near women in the romantic fashion. I'm just too emotionally unstable.

Moral of the story? Figure out if you're emotionally unstable.

I'm sorry but that's completely true. No one is directly tied to anyone. You are your own person. Your life is not dependant physically on anyone else unless you are special needs, you depend on someone else for finances, etc, but that's clearly not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about love.

I love my parents. If they died, I'd be devastated. Would I survive? Heck yes I would. My life is my own.
I love my sister. If she died, I'd be devastated. Would I survive? Heck yes I would.
I love my niece. She's the most amazing little girl in the world. If something happened to her, I'd be heartbroken. But I'd survive.

Just like I loved my fiance. Would have done anything for her. But it just didn't work out. Yet here I am. Completely ok, and dating. :shrug:

Siamese twins. :happy: Unless you want to say Siamese twins aren't people. In the majority of cases, your point stands. Just don't say it's true for everybody.

I've stated twice now that I'm talking about this in the context of loving someone, IE, relationships, depending on someone because you "love them so much it hurts".. :facepalm:

I know what you meant to say and I know what you said, which is this:
I was just protecting his nitpicking, as you said that was completely true; which, in a literal sense, it's not.

Hmmm sounds like you really connected with her chemically and your brain just refuses to let her go.

It's tough bro, I feel for you, I've been there. The worst vice is advice but here goes : it won't stop soon if you don't stop any contact with her. Might seem impossible at first, you might feel physically ill but you have to force yourself to do other things, to keep your mind occupied. Even if she's the last thing you think about when you go to sleep and the first when you wake. Four months is already a very long time to be in this state.

It can be pretty destructive like hellbreaker says. Just try to condition your brain to accept that it's over - if it really is and there's not a single chance to be with her again.

Love yourself. Life will go on. And when you meet your next crazy love, you won't even remember her face clearly.

Best of luck, be well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBZ6UxCGKdM

Yes, it is completely true, in the context of loving someone. This little dance is getting silly.

Been there. Women are quite nuts. It will get better and you will be able to move on. Do whatever you enjoy the most more (I hike). :vaultboy: