the 1.4 patch notes said that it will let you get the gem inside the embassy but i cant find a way in?

Wrong forum. Getting to it.

You can't find the gem until you infiltrate the embassy, and if you fail to take the gem then it's sitting in a cave so you can go and get it again. You can't go into the embassy at any other time.

You don't have to go back in through Thalmor Ebassy. Just go back in to the Cave you came out of as you escaped the Embassy during the main quest. It should at the very end of the cave under a rock.