Gibberish

Post » Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:52 pm

Many of us have worked in a modern corporate environment. Of those, most will have encountered at least one manager who likes to use words like "leverage" and "paradigm". And of those, pretty much all will have gone away scratching their heads wondering what the hell it was that they just said.

Some examples are more egregious than others; for example, just now a domain came up in NoScript (it shall remain anonymous to protect the guilty) so as usual, I Googled it to make a decision about whether to allow it or add it to my ban list. You can guess what I did when the domain itself proffered the following description of its purpose in life:

We help our partners boost ROI by leveraging semantic targeting capabilities while protecting advertiser brands in real time.

:bonk:

I guess there's not really much point trying to work out why anybody would come out with rubbish like that since it can probably be taken for granted that it's to bamboozle and/or impress like-minded people when they actually have nothing useful to say, but does anyone else have any similarly amusing or bizarre travesties of the English language? In the meantime, I think I need a lie down and a couple of headache pills.
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Anthony Rand
 
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Post » Wed Dec 07, 2011 10:05 am

Personally, I think you need to semantically reevaluate your prodogical priorities regarding malfactational thought.
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Multi Multi
 
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Post » Wed Dec 07, 2011 1:39 pm

Me thinks they made use of this site

http://www.andrewdavidson.com/gibberish/?companyname=crapco
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Alex Vincent
 
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Post » Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:23 pm

Nope. I've understood every word that came at me so far.




Except the words I don't know.
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Sarah Unwin
 
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Post » Wed Dec 07, 2011 12:26 pm

Personally, I think you need to semantically reevaluate your prodogical priorities regarding malfactational thought.

I'm not sure I should congratulate you on having such a talent! :lol:

Me thinks they made use of this site

http://www.andrewdavidson.com/gibberish/?companyname=crapco

:rofl:

I'll have to bookmark that.

Nope. I've understood every word that came at me so far.

Except the words I don't know.

I find it's not so much the words themselves as the sentences they're in that I tend to struggle with...
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suzan
 
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Post » Wed Dec 07, 2011 4:25 pm

We need to holistically manage our hybrid ventures and remain fiscally proactive so that we know we're in the ballpark and outside the box.
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Stephanie Valentine
 
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Post » Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:38 am

We need to holistically manage our hybrid ventures and remain fiscally proactive so that we know we're in the ballpark and outside the box.

Yeah... because this is relevant to this thread, right?
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Antony Holdsworth
 
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Post » Wed Dec 07, 2011 7:24 am

Yeah... because this is relevant to this thread, right?

I don't know.. Fits the thread title perfectly though, doesn't it?
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Elizabeth Davis
 
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Post » Wed Dec 07, 2011 4:28 am

Ah, the wide world of corporate buzzwords, where products are called "solutions". You don't sell tiles, you sell kitchen "solutions".
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Austin Suggs
 
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Post » Wed Dec 07, 2011 8:14 am

Me thinks they made use of this site

http://www.andrewdavidson.com/gibberish/?companyname=crapco

Without appropriate partnerships, cross-media action-items are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, long-term

:) Hilarious
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Rachael Williams
 
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Post » Wed Dec 07, 2011 3:56 am

We need to holistically manage our hybrid ventures and remain fiscally proactive so that we know we're in the ballpark and outside the box.

That last part there, inside the ballpark, isn't that just another way of being inside the box? Which would make, whether the entire sentence or not I do not know, but make it somewhat of an oxymoron?
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Rachel Tyson
 
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Post » Wed Dec 07, 2011 8:09 am

I'm not sure I should congratulate you on having such a talent! :lol:


:rofl:

I'll have to bookmark that.


I find it's not so much the words themselves as the sentences they're in that I tend to struggle with...



:) Hilarious

I know someone who is well up in the food chain of a corporation that produces a number of major brands of footwear who uses the site whenever he has to convey to the upper echelons the current quarterly conjecture according to the bi-annual reassessment of the net regional production ratio expenditure..
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luis dejesus
 
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Post » Wed Dec 07, 2011 3:21 am

I know someone who is well up in the food chain of a corporation that produces a number of major brands of footwear who uses the site whenever he has to convey to the upper echelons the current quarterly conjecture according to the bi-annual reassessment of the net regional production ratio expenditure..

Ha, makes sense. :wink:
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Maya Maya
 
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Post » Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:03 am

I don't think we're optimizing the utilization of the window of opportunity here.

Let's all touch base, draw a mind-map to synergize our KPIs and then just fly it up the flagpole to see who salutes.
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Yvonne
 
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