» Sun Jun 03, 2012 10:55 pm I tried to explain to my Allison that it is impossible to distinguish between her and her twin not only because they look exactly the same but also because they are equally skilled in the bedroom.
But that just made her angrier so she hired even more mercenaries to chop my body into pieces.
She told the mercenaries that she wanted my skin made into a carpet so she could step on it and say to herself "I told him I'd walk all over him if he betrayed me."
Sadly her twin sister Serena's skin was made into a curtain. But at least it matches the wall colour. I told my wife on several occasions that she should have become an interior decorator instead of being the owner of a successful chain of Inns throughout Cyrodiil.
As soon as I escaped to Skyrim I thought I'd be safe but the Imperial Authorities thought I was a rebel and were preparing to execute me in some small place called Helga or Helgen.
Luckily a dragon saved me just before the horrid smelling executioner could hack my neck off.
Well it's intention wasn't to save me but it created a huge enough distraction to allow me to escape another lethal encounter.
) with his 3 lusty daughters in his own personal chambers. I slowly worked my way up the chain of command, starting out as a peasant, working up to the personal guard of Uriel Septim. Then one day, as he had been feeling ill, he decided to take a rest in his chambers. Upon opening large doors, he saw me robbing the virtue of his 3 gorgeous daughters. I'm pretty sure that's how it went, as I had consumed a large bit of ale. I sure hope it was his 3 beautiful daughters and not 3 of his old servants ...
