I have lost ED-E in vault 22 after completing the quest to destroy the source of the spores it seems as that ED-E was blown up into the ceiling and there it stays, ive tried the options listed prid and so on the elevator trick, i did move to and it moves me to the spot were it is in the vault stuck in the ceiling, only problem is i cant dismiss it, the npc's are still recognising and commenting on its presences.

Have you tried disabling and reenabling ede through the console?

Bring up the console and select EDE either using prid or selecting the robot on screen (not sure if you can do it that way).
Type disable and then type enable. Try a moveto afterwards if you dont see ede. Make sure EDE is alive first. Resurrect command will do this if EDE is dead.

So I have a related question, when playing in hardcoe mode through steam can I use a console command to to recover ede without boning my hardcoe game so far in?

You can recover EDE using the resurrect command if he died.
Heres a nice list of commands:
http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Fallout_3_console_commands

Same thing happened. kill him with console then resurrect him. It worked for me. I did this outside the vault, but shouldnt matter where you are. Use the correct prid (can be found http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/ED-E) if you cannot click to select him if hes in the wall.

If you can make sure you unload him first as kill,resurrect, disable, enable will lose everything he is carrying.

More what im unclear on is if doing this will make me lose my hardcoe status from steam, ive read mixed. Some people say if you do it then exit it will be ok, others seem to say as soon as you use a console command you lose the hardcoe steam achievement

I killed an resurrected EDE to fix the not moving bug. I still got the hardcoe achievement.

Ive disabled, enabled, ressurected, did prid, ive tried to move it to me didnt work, when i move to it was when i finally found its location in vault 22, that it was stuck up inside the ceiling of the corridor which you finish the quest to kill the spores in the vents, when the vents blew up it blew ed-e up into the ceiling and its stuck there, on the world map it shows its location, at one stage i did move to me at camp mc carran, the icon on the world map moved to my location but there was no ed-e visible, when i moved away the icon stayed at camp mc carran.

I made a mod that adds additional functions for companions, one of which is a warp companion to me option (even works if the companion is dead). Comes in very handy considering how often followers get lost, or run the long way around when you move through an area where the path grid isn't complete. It also has a resurrect option which shouldn't effect achievements as it's not a console function, and they don't lose their stuff. It might help some people avoid the problems associated with losing and trying to find their companions. There are some small script issues in it that I am aware of and will fix soon, but for the most part the mod works perfectly and has never caused anyone any problems. It has been around in FO3 for a long time too, and this is just a basic port of those options configured a little differently.

http://www.newvegasnexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=37572

Just be sure to read the whole readme to get the most out of the mod.

Finally while i was playing, it said ed-e has left your party and has returned to primm so i opened my pip boy checked it the icon was still in vault 22 the ed-e icon was gone, went to primm no ed-e, played a few more days went back no ed-e, same again no ed-e went back to vault 22 no ed-e. Honestly i give up, i think this fallout is going the way of fallout 3 and never being reinstalled back on this computer again way to much aggro just so i can get some enjoyment kicking back to have some fun.