Ok so I started the marriage quest in Riften, bought the amulet of Mara and now i want to use the console to marry the Jarl of Whiterun. I used the codes "setrelationshiprank player 4" and "addfac 19809 1" but the option won't come up. I know it's possible to marry him using the console because I've seen a video on Youtube.

Any idea what I'm doing wrong?

Have you done the quests involving him?

You're two-timing Ulfric? LOL

http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/downloads/file.php?id=4139

I would marry Ulfric if I could, but sadly he's one of the few who you can't marry using the console so my next choice would be the Jarl of Whiterun. I have one file where I did all quests involving him, including the Civil Wars quests and another where I've done all quests for him except the Civil War quests. Neither of them will work.