When me and my current girlfriend went on our first date, one of the topics that came up was biggest fear, I said getting buried alive, she gave my a list of phobias she suffers from. Now that we've gotten closer a few of her phobias are becoming serious problems. The phobias: Atychiphobia, Carcinophobia, Kosmikophobia, Obesophobia, Thanatophobia, and on top of all that she has very low self-esteem (that likely walks hand-in-hand with Obesophobia). I think Thanatophobia is fairly rational, as well as Carcinophobia, Kosmikophobia hasn't really presented any problems yet, and Atychiphobia is almost a personality trait with her, which leaves her Obesophobia and self-esteem issues as the two major problems. Does anybody have an experience with this sort of situation or how to solve it? Any professional help isn't really an option.

Gimme a second I need to google some things.

Eh, I have two phobias, one comes from the paranoia of anything being possible, which is I'm deathly fearful of a Zombie Apocalypse, and the other is I'm frightful of snakes. I also suffer from low self esteem, primarily due to having been 5'8 and 210 pounds until I dropped between 40-50 pounds this year, I still constantly fear Im hideous or fat or anything else. Alot of the self image issue is just having to breath in and just accept that we all look ugly to someone, so instead of trying to look perfect to society, just try looking perfect to yourself. As to phobias, I find trying to slowly introduce your phobias to you, you find they arent something to be horrifically terrified by, and instead of fearing it, learn to counter it so that you can be prepared to calm yourself and eliminate the fear of it. It's worked for my zombie fears by preparing for a zombie apocalypse, and the snake one I'm still working on.

Video games, a good psychiatrist, relentless taunting, or a concrete bunker. :shrug:

Tell her you have Phobophobia.

That's why her phobias are so unique, you can't just introduce a person to cancer, or failure, or cosmic phenomenon.

I was kind of hoping that was going to be a fear of crabs.

Anyway, that's not going to be an easy fix, thanks to western society trying really, really hard to force it onto people. It's like trying to cure a fear of spiders in someone whose job is being bitten by spiders. I'm not sure there's much you can do beyond reassurance whenever it comes up. It's an image issue, and generally what people you care about think is going to (no pun intended) carry more weight than unknown strangers.

As...trite as those phobias are, I think it's not your problem. It doesn't really matter what it is, you don't mess with other people's fears.

That's just kind of common courtesy.

Only one i'm unsure of it Obesophobia though the name itself should be a give away. Personally I think professional help may be your best option since self-diagnosis and treatment is a MAJOR no no. Took Psych 101 and one of the biggest rules we learned is that an untrained psychologist diagnosing a problem can be bad but self-diagnosing yourself is even worse. You can give the wrong treatment, making thing worse, etc.... creating a huge problem in a nutshell.

If your friend is truly suffering from Thanatophobia (fear of death but different than Necrophobia) among other things then it could become a problem. Again I strongly recommend you seek professional psychological help for your friend instead of turning towards the forum. Sounds like it is currently having an affect on her daily routine and that's why I suggest the professional help.

Hope everything works out for your girlfriend OP

I'm not so worried about her more minor ones, but her self-esteem paired with her Obesophobia has the potential of making her bulimic, and she's in good shape as it is, loosing any weight would be a serious health risk.

This.

See "Obesophobia" and a female "I'm faaaaaat" doesn't seem like the same thing. Actual phobias are different.

Still. It's not your responsibility or problem. It's hers. Only she can change something like that. You either deal with it with courageous patience, or dump her for someone more mentally well adjusted.

Along with this, I feel like asking, does she have a high pressure job, life, family?
That stuff can really play into phobias.

Her family situation is normal, and she's a photojournalist, she's never complained about it, it's actually her dream job.

So it's either crab-people or mole-men.

Atychiphobia: So she has a fear of failure, encourage her, when she does something and she thinks its a failure or her fear is acting up just encourage her. Tell her it's not a failure etc.. It'lll make her feel better and calm her fears, as well as help boost her self esteem. Which should I guess in turn help her get over her fear of failure and her low self esteem. Though that seems pretty obvious, if she hasn't done it wrong just tell her seems like common sense.

Carcinophobia: SO she has the fear of cancer, I have no idea. Is it severe, does she like wear a surgical mask all the time to stop gettign carcinogens in her lungs. If it's not a problem or affecting her life then its nto really a issue.

Kosmikophobia: SO she has a fear of nebula and other astrological phenomenon. Really? I have no idea hwo to handle it, if it's linked to strong emotion from teh past, cognitive behavioural therapy would help to get over it. Otherwise I have no idea what you could do.

Obesophobia: So she has a fear of getting fat, well encourage her and help boost her self esteem, I dunno or Therapy.

Thanatophobia: Everyone is afraid of dying, it is just how sever is it? Will she not cross the street for fear of being hit by motor vehicle or is it just a sort of a non-issue.

I'm not a Doctor though so to be honest that just some dude you know from an annomymous form voicing his opinion.

Much better than what I said.

I have an acute phobia of spiders (Tarantulas don't bother me however) and an average level of self-esteem. Having a hobbie like making video's (specially if they become VERY popular) on YouTube and drawing, has help boost me up.

Atychiphobia: She's almost entirely turned her fear of failure into a driving force to do things well, it's the least of my concerns.

Carcinophobia: Her fear of cancer is something like a more severe hypochondria, but with the focus solely on cancer. It's almost never a problem.

Kosmikophobia: I believe this one was a self-diagnosis, the only time it effects her is when something about space on the news or on the Discovery Channel worries her.

Obesophobia: She never feels comfortable with her weight, she is very cautious about everything she eats, and at more severe times she refuses to eat.

Thanatophobia: Another one of her self diagnoses, I think because, like most people, she has a fear of death she immediately thought it to be another phobia.

These actually sound like the biggu'ns to me. :confused:

Well I have found more phobias I don't have (thank god) but what do they call it when you've played too much Fallout and are now afraid of nuclear holocaust? Because I have that.

I am a not-so-proud owner of many phobias (mostly mental, I've eliminated physical phobias through excessive rationalizing) and after some five years of deteriorating mental condition with no treatment and not a single word with anyone it's too late for me. With that experience I'd say the only reliable cure is to talk about it to someone, which she appears to be doing. If you admit those phobias, recognize them and talk about them all that remains is facing the fear, not taking it seriously.
It's horrible.. to have no one to talk to. Or at least the feeling of it. Having all your life's miseries huddle up in yourself. Not a single word to anyone. Ever. Just smiling, telling people that everything's okay.
Don't let that happen.

seconded, through experience

I remember I had phobias but then they became too mainstream.

Anyone heard of zeusophobia (fear of god)? I think I have that.. tbh I think he's kind of a meanie :cryvaultboy: