Yes, yes, I've managed to make it 28 years and 1 child and not have to go through the process of acquiring my own vehicle. I've always had a license but never had the responsibility of having to read listings and take test drives.
In sixist terms, I need you guys to be the dad I don't have and teach me how to buy a car.

I put the word "used" in the topic title because that's the kind of budget I'm looking at. I do not know how to drive a standard and would consider learning in the most desperate of situations, so you don't need to tell me things like, test the clutch.
Does make/model make a huge difference?
Buy used from a dealer/mechanic, or from an individual?
Any tricks/tips I should be aware of?
Cheers