I'm trying to become thane of Windhelm. What's the easiest way to get in good graces with Ulfric Stormcloak? Do I have to full-on join the civil war on his side? I'd like to postpone that for the time being.

E.g. For the record, I'm immediately at the start of the game for this play-through, having just escaped Helgen and done nothing except discovery the major cities on horseback. No quests have been completed whatsoever.

Well hes a fanatic with a cause. You won't make friends with him without commtting to that cause.

then, just play the game and continue adventuring and exploring the land.

it's a quest that will eventually get updated automatically.

you probably went with the imperial and/or didn't go to riverwood.

Well, you could argue that he's not a fanatic. He was promised by the empire that they'd be able to worship Talos if they beat back the Bretons (Forsworn) during the Markarth incident and the Empire basically made a deal they could not keep because of the Wihte-Gold Concordat.

could??

ulfric is absolutely within his right and duty.

the empire and thalmor are the punks having a party below my apartment. i will tell them to stop, or else bloodshed will occur.

i am not the one at fault. and, i don't feel bad about calling you out. just like i don't feel bad about telling loudmouths at the movie theatres to shut the huck up. THEY are the ones out of line.

Yes, but he's like a horrible politician. If he was smart he'd be rallying the other provinces as well as the empire against the altmer with the condition that if they free themselves from elven oppression they can worship Talos.

Instead, his defiance push the empire and the thalmor closer together.

In the spoiler you will find the requirements for being able to become the Thane of Windhelm:

He made a deal with the Jarl of the Reach, not the Empire.

Ulfric has a fantastic voice actor. When i'm with General Tullius, i cant shake the feeling thats its the Doc from New Vegas

As soon as I have gotten that far with the stormcloak questline Ulfric offers Hjerm for me to buy but doesn't make me thane as soon as I buy it therefore I have no housecarl

Buying Hjerim is a requirement for becoming Thane but you don't become Thane just because you bought it. First of all, it may be that the house is offered one step earlier in the CW questline than the Thane title, but I honestly can't remember. If so you will have to complete the liberation of the next hold on the list even if you bought the property as soon as it was made available. Also, in order to become Thane you will have to complete five side quests that count towards helping the people of Eastmarch if you have not already done so.

Even when you do get to to the point in the CW questline where the Thane quest is available, Ulfric will not offer you the title without the correct dialogue prompt, and when you are reporting in after completing a CW quest he will always address that first and immediately want to give you your next assignment. Finish out the CW conversation and then engage him again to see if the dialogue prompt leading to the Thane quest appears. It will be an option to ask if there's anything else he needs or requires of you (or something to that effect). If you select that option he will then say that there is room in his court for a new Thane and tell you what the requirements are (you must own property in the city and help his people as noted above). Finish out that conversation and exit the dialogue. If you have already met the requirements, the Thane quest should automatically advance to "return to Ulfric" and at that point you can simply engage him in dialogue again and tell him you've helped his people and he will make you Thane. If you haven't done all the stuff you need to do, go do it and return to him afterwards.

It's possible that when you go back to him after completing the Thane requirements he may simply remark on the orders you were last given in the CW and refuse to discuss anything else, which means you'd have to do the next bit of the CW stuff and then finish the Thane conversation when you report in from that. I'm not sure because I've never been in that situation. I just came back to Windhelm after doing some CW stuff with my current PC and got the option leading to the Thane quests after receiving my next orders. I was able to go back to him immediately and get the title without any problems.