I married my follower, and as soon as the ceremony concluded he vanished. I found him heading to Markarth, and although he says, "lead on," he keeps heading home. How do I regain him as a follower, or is he now only my husband?

You need to talk to him BEFORE he leaves the temple. reload your save, try again.

try reloading and thendo the following.

once you are married exit the conversation with the priest of mara.

then speak to your spouse about where to live. it should work.

I was wondering about that! Argis did the same thing. He disappeared after the ceremony and when my character returned to Markarth he was not there. I waited a couple of times, and then he finally showed up. At that point, he asked where we should live and I suggested Markarth. Now, however, for the first time he is using his room to sleep, and will not sleep in the same bed as my character. There is no dialogue topic for this. Any ideas on how to straighten this out? Do I also need to talk to him before he leaves the temple of Mara?

I had to do my ceremony 3 times before I could catch my spouse before he left the temple.If you don't talk to them before they leave you can't find them.Make sure you save right before the ceremony.It;s hard to catch them because YOU can't move until the ceremony is over but your spouse heads for the door like their pants are on fire while the priest is still talking.