(Warning: Mature content below. Well, mature is such a relative term. Needless to say, it's advlt stuff. Well, advlt stuff is such a relative term.)
Well, I usually don't "do" relationship threads, or make them. I can generally cope with my relationship business on my own. But this isn't really a relationship type thing per say...I'll just start off by throwing it out there I guess.
I have these 3 friends that I met here. I'll call them..Adam..John..and Tiffany. (not real names of coarse)
Adam is dating Tiffany, and John is all of ours mutual friend. So we four, me, John, Adam, and Tiffany hang out a lot at Tiffanys house.
The thing is, Adam and Tiffany are having some problems. Adam has cheated on her many times, and she doesn't know it. Me and John know it though. Adam isn't happy in the relationship. He thinks she is nothing but a nagging well, [censored]. She isn't really though. Her situation is different from her side of the story, which I found out today.
Needless to say, Adam wants out of the relationship, and me and John know about it. So, a few days, Adam actually suggested that one of us, Me or John, actually try and talk to Tiffany and get her to cheat on Adam with one of us. Because he's that unhappy. He could honestly care less if she left him, but she's one of those girls that Adam feels like he couldn't break up with her if he tried. Not because he doesn't have the balls to do it, but because she wouldn't let him.
So, me and John are faced with this moral dilemma of sorts. Well, me personally. Is this wrong? I mean, honestly, and it kinda feels weird to say it but, I probably would LOL. And he's not just talking about kissing her..heh.
Now, Tiffany is a great girl. She's nice, funny, just caught in a bad relationship and she has thrown up protective barriers to protect herself because she feels like Adam is going behind her back, so she's turned into kind of a paranoid agitated person. Which I get. But I honestly believe that if I really tried, I could get her to sleep with me. (These aren't role-model status friends I have here ok, leave me alone. )
So..what do you think? Is sleeping with my best friends girlfriend, upon request, a terrible thing to do?
One side of me says, "don't do it!", one side of me says, "hey bro, she's hot".
I can sum up this entire post with an emoticon:
:facepalm:

Dude....

Why is this a question? Get your pansy ass friend to confront his girlfriend, who he's repeatedly cheated on, and break up with her.

Just ask her out.

Seriously though,I have to agree with Spanky..just get your pansy ass friend to break up with her-no need for lies and trickery.

It's honestly not that simple. He needs something big to break up with her over. He lives with her in her moms house. Half of his stuff is hers. He needs a reason to "go out with a bang" so to speak. And anything other than her cheating on him, honestly just wouldn't suffice.

A. Give your friend the ultimatum: "Break up with her"
B. If he does, problem over. If he doesn't, as HER friend, you need to tell her that he is cheating on her because he doesn't want to be with her.

No, it's not worth it. Moral complications aside, it would be disastrous if she refused to cheat on Adam with one of you. There's no guarantee you could convince her. So you make your move, she scoffs and refuses, and goes to tell Adam, who either sheepishly reveals his plan, and she freaks the hell out, or he lies and pretends to get mad at you. Either way Tiffany is going to be pissed off at you and if you consider her a friend you shouldn't even try.

I feel your friends pain in regards to having a girlfriend who wont let him break up with her, having seen it happen to friends all too often. Like you said, something big needs to happen, but this plan is NOT the way to do it.

Well if he gives you permission to copulate with his girlfriend, I don't see a problem.

Sounds like he needs to just pack his stuff and leave,he doesn't need to be living with someone he isn't happy with.

You don't really need to get involved with it,if you actually want to sleep with her remember that after they break up she's fair game-you're just being an [censored] if you try to get her to cheat on him to give him a reason to break up with her.

He's the one that's cheating on her..and while I understand he isn't happy in the relationship-he's the one at fault and he needs to clear it up instead of trying to get her to feel like she's the reason the relationship ended.

That's a good point. Never thought if she said no lol. She's giving off signs, you know how it is. Just seems like it would happen.
I just don't see any other alternative for him to have a catalyst to just go off on her and storm out. Because it will require it.
And yeah a lot of people, and a lot of the people on this forum wont understand but, sometimes breaking up with a girl isn't so black and white. A girl can honestly say no haha.

She can say "no" all she wants, that doesn't stop the guy from physically leaving.

I can't see how this is a moral dilemma, you'd be incredibly hard pressed to justify sleeping with your friend's girlfriend, even at his request.

Essentially you're saying that you'd consider sleeping with this girl, so that her boyfriend breaks up with her and she has to then live with that guilt, despite the fact you say she's already been cheated on multiple times? Classy.

If you ask me, you need to mind your own business and your friend needs to man the [censored] up.

I completely understand,I've gone through an obsessive girl-but still I think my post is valid.

Don't get involved,you're just hurting your self.

Again, you apparently don't understand. It's not that simple. You've never been in that type of relationship obviously. When you live with someone, share incomes, and share all of your possessions, "lollaterbro" doesn't work.
It may work for Tiger Woods' wife, but not everyone.

If half of his stuff is hers, how would he save his stuff even if he did manage to break up with her? Sounds to me like he could only save his stuff with a peaceful break-up, where they can divvy up the stuff. But she wont break up peacefully... sort of a catch-22.

I'm not even gonna touch this one...

Okay, I'll leave you with this. Don't do it (and by "it" I mean "her" not to sound vulgar or anything). Tell your spineless, dike-headed excuse for a friend (man) to just break it off with her and tell her WHY he isn't happy and that he's cheated on her due to his unhappiness. If she won't "let" him (whatever that means, she doesn't have that kind of authority, so its an immature and stupid thing to say) than he needs to file a restraining order, because clearly they won't be "friends" after the break-up.

Neither you or John (or whoever the other friend is) should even entertain the idea of getting Tiffany to sleep with you. It just wouldn't be good. The advice I've given should be able to be applied to the situation seeing as how the two live together. Maybe Adam could pack up all of his stuff after the restraining order is filed (or not, hopefully) and move in with one of you guys and then find an apartment or another means of housing.

I feel a bit sorry for Tiffany, and John (or whoever is dating Tiffany) sounds like a total... well, read what I said about him in the beginning of rant/post.

Sleeping with his girlfriend isn't something I'd just do. That's just not in the "bro-code". You don't sleep with your best friends girl.
But, the thing that makes it harder for me, is that he asked. That's just unheard of usually. In all of brodom.
By the way, I know this isn't "classy". Neither is your life, more than likely. Your [censored] does stink, fyi. Everyone has their own problems.
I'm sharing a little chapter of my life on a forum, if you don't like that, then honestly, leave?


Yeah I realize that certain things could go wrong. I could very well be hurting myself, but it's to help a friend out! Or is that what I keep telling myself to take the guilt away? 0.o


Yeah, I mean it's not straight half and half. He has some of her stuff, he uses her money for things etc, and vice versa. They've been together off and on for 5 years almost, these last two years have been solid though. So just "leaving" isn't an option.

I understand completely. It is a cop out used whenever the breakup would cause more work than one (or more) of the parties wants to deal with. It really is simple to break up in this scenario, but it won't be pleasant so the parties involved convince themselves that it won't be easy in order to create a rationalization for staying together.

Its her who needs to break up with him. Hes a louse and you shouldn't go along with his nasty little scheme to try and put his girlfriend in the wrong so he has an excuse to do what he wants and put the guilt on her.

This. Put a boot up your friend's ass and make him break up with her. What in the hell kind of a "man" is he anyway? He can cheat on her all day long but doesn't have the balls to actually break up with her? Weak. Real weak.

Maybe you should help the situation out and just tell her that he is cheating on her. If she is your friend she won't be mad at you for telling her and if he gets mad at you for "spilling" the beans then you don't need him as a friend. And on the plus side she may actually be "into" you in the end.

The short of it is this isn't your problem, this isn't your business. It's a shame your friends aren't working out as an item, but that's something they need to resolve themselves.

Man, didn't realize how many Mother Teresa's we had on this forum. Jesus, people. Honestly. I'm sure you've never done anything bad huh. :rolleyes:
The "holier than thou" routine is pretty lame considering what some of you have admitted on these forums.

I don't see a dilemma here.



In a word, yes.

If he's not happy, the only advice I can give you is to tell your friend to man up and call it off and break it off with her himself; if you give him cause by encouraging her to cheat when he confronts her about it, she's probably going to feel worse than if he had just manned up.

Now, if afterwards you strike up a relationship with this girl, thats another matter, but cheating, and encouraging to cheat are clear moral no-no's.

Get better friends.

Don't play emotional games with ladies and don't come here to discuss your six life. :shrug:

Yes, it IS that simple. He needs to man up and be make his own decisions. If he doesn't care for a girl for whatever reasons, then that is all the reason there is. Not everyone clicks for a long time. Sometimes you date people and as time goes on, you just realize this person isn't for you. Period. It svcks breaking up with someone - if you are a reasonably kind person, and it svcks being dumped.

Incidentally - the wacky hijinks of having one of your friends get your girlfriend to cheat, with said friend... life is not some dumb ass sitcom. That will never work out well.

Give your friend a smack in the head. And have the other friend also smack him in the back of the head and then let him solve his own problems. Or let her solve her own problems. If you want to be a friend, listen, support and leave it at that.

Also: What summer said.