I need some advice. My character is or was in the beginning a righteous person that was so nice and polite and would help anyone if she could. She didn't want to kill except its absoloutely necessary.

But what has she become? After 1 1/2 ingame months in Skyrim, darkness is covering her soul. All started with this bandit she nearly killed until he begged her for mercy, and she gave him mercy. But then, as she turned the back on him, he attacked her again and my character had to do it. This was the point where she started to become more and more cold-hearted.

She blames the dragonblood for this. All this anger inside her started when she first absorbed the soul of a dragon. Now she kills people kneeling before her begging for mercy without any mercy at all.

She initially wanted to join the Empire to preserve peace, but after all those things that happened to Markarth she changed her mind. She saw how corrupt the Empire is and what is the result in taking away the home of somebody, just more and more blood. And therefore, she decided to join the Stormcloaks to free Skyrim.

Also, she was quite lost at that time and needed something worth living for, so her life can mean something. The aims of the Stormcloaks were just that and she felt that by joining them, she could find kind of a "family" again after she was sent away by her own one. Also, she knows how it feels to lose home, since she was sent away from her own one, and she sees this free Skyrim as a possible new one.

But now she was on her first big battle for Whiterun, and she killed many. And when Ralof asked whether she regrets this, she realized she didn't anymore. She was so in pain when killing those guards in Markarth, but this was gone now. And then she began to ask herself: Is this righteous? Is freedom worth the sacrifice of so many souls? Is anything worth the death of so many people and destruction of families?

She feels the anger inside her, and she doesn't know whether she wants to stop it or not. It makes her stronger, but it also makes her lose herself. Also, she wants freedom for Skyrim and she knows that the worst thing for Skyrim would be the civil war lasting for years. There has to be a "winner", or the land will be blood-covered for a long time.

Now her big struggle is: Is this war acceptable, is all this killing necessary (also killing bandits etc.) for the greater good? For future generations, that can live in freedom and peace and the way they want to?

What do you say?

I came across a similar issue from the other direction I suppose: http://www.gamesas.com/index.php?/topic/1307950-how-did-skyrim-change-your-character/page__p__19674807#entry19674807

In short, I was trying to be completely righteous, until a farmer told me he was off to join the stormcloaks, so I executed him on the spot (as a Tribune in the Imperial Army). I started to realise how evil, my good actions were, and when I later helped destroy a stormcloak fort, how many of these guys were farmers and probably never met Ulfric, nor understood the danger to themselves they were causing.
The White Gold Concordant and the Empire is the only thing in the way of Skyrim being overrun by the Aldmeri Dominion.

Worst of all, I was enjoying toying with them, I'd stopped listening to the cries for mercy, because they never surrended, instead opting to smile as they bounced off my shield, before finding interesting ways to murder them. I even chased down the ones who ran.

It affected my character, and I lost my taste for my perceived sense of right and good, and noting the evil I had perpetrated because of it, and especially because of the fundamentalist and unyielding approach, but its important to note, that the Dovahkiin's presence can end the war faster.. and with less bloodshed in the long run. I found I just wanted to get the war over with as soon as possible.

Two choices.

1.) Grit your teeth and fight hard to help the stormcloaks reach victory, thereby not prolonging the war too long. Live with your conscience afterwards, aand/or gain redemption in some way helping others rebuild their lives somehow, ie helping vilagers with jobs. etc. on a daily or weeekly basis. (can rp some crafting or wood chopping once a day as a way of helping local economy or whatnot)

2.) Head into the wilderness (abolishing any resposibility in making choices in the war) and hunt animals for the sale of the resources in villages to help the wartorn. Knowing full well that the civil war will continue unabated and drag on for years of death maiming, orphanage, loss, [censored], pillage and general misery.

Let her keep taking time either way to step back and reflect on who she is, what the limitations of her choices are throughout this period of upheavel, choice one may be the better of the two, she can deal with the guilt of her actions by helping rebuild.
Choice two and she will constantly feel guilt at never making a choice that could, possibly, lead to change. Choice two would not lead to change, only more misery eventualy given your brief history.

Okay thanks, I think it comes down to give up herself or give up Skyrim. If she doesn't interfer, people will die anyway. So I think she'll try to accept her role for now. That doesn't mean she'll be a merciless killer, but she won't hesitate to kill those that want to kill her and her ideals.

I got into a little fight with a group of people, killed some and some ran off. I wonder if those that ran off will return and attack you later in game.

the problem is with the game, not your character...ppl say they surrender but they dont actually surrender. There isn't a good/evil choice in most quests, it seems as if the moral compass was removed along with the map 1

I am in a similar RP right now. I was righteous and fighting for the land of my birth, I joined the Stormcloaks because I refused to cast Talos aside. While traveling through the Rift, I happened upon 2 Imperial citizens who had gotten lost, I killed them both after listening to their conversation. This got me thinking of how far I had fallen in my war in the name of Talos. I did struggle with how to continue in this manner. After doing a little more of the Main Quest I ended up in a conversation with a certain very cool NPC and it actually touched on my dilemma a bit and I was able to make peace with my actions and recommit myself to a higher good.

Yes I know that's a game flaw but I try to implement it into the roleplaying, she made a bad experience with showing mercy in a fight to death and now she's scared of being backstabbed if she does again. It had quite an impact on her personality. She had the mind of a child when she first arrived in Skyrim, now she sees the real world and that you have to be strong to survive. She's still in a struggle for that matter, she constantly finds herself wanting to just drop all her weapons and become a nun or something in a temple of the Nine to atone for her sins, but then she realizes that its not the Nine anymore and the anger returns.