I felt the same way about a girl, then I fell in love with my right hand again.

Just kidding.

This is really awkward.

It's called Broken Heart Syndrome.

Stop stating your opinion/belief to be fact.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Broken_heart_syndrome, eh? Click on the link and educate yourself, friend.

Anyway, whoever thinks that your life is over because a girlfriend left you is simply overreacting. You make people special, people aren't just special. Your good times and bad times and the connection between people is what makes relationships meaningful.
Having emotional responses to losses in your life is normal and natural, but attempting to say that there is only one person in the entire world that you could experience that with is pure ignorance.

Also, Cimex, you misunderstand common sense for cynicism. It's ok, you don't have to be daft. Also, you lose the internet for attempting to make a "mad" joke. That's just juvenile.

You are very cynical Vel Maranus. It's ok you don't have to be mad.

This is my advice for a tough breakup:

1) Cut off all contact. Delete phone numbers, email addresses, everything. Some people can be friends after a breakup, but I still think you need time apart first, and this eliminates all temptation. You can find her again after you're over it if you feel like it. This includes not listening to "your song", watching films that remind you of her, etc. Get rid of any photos, cards, letters, emails, drawings or trinkets that are to do with her.
2)Have a self indulgent moment where you feel miserable, tell a trusted mate/relative all of what happened and how you feel. It feels good to let it all out. Even if you don't want to tell someone then just write it down and think about it.
3) Write down a list of all the reasons why it's best that you're not together. Be as brutal as you can - this is just for you, never show anybody. Whenever you feel like you're missing her, read the whole list (don't skim, read it), and see if there's anything else you can think of adding.
4) Go out with friends. Make a pact before you go out that they are not to bring up the ex, and that if you bring her up, they aren't to talk about her/encourage discussion at all. She is off limits. This is about making new happy memories without her, not dragging her along. If you're drinking, know your limits - getting drunk and enjoying yourself is good, getting slammed and making a fool of yourself is not. Having great friends will help with this - they'll keep you on track and help you have an amazing night.

5)When you do feel like finding someone else, don't look for a replica. That means you're not over her. It's fine to be single and have fun. Too many people (myself included) have decided that the best way to get over someone is to find a replacement - and it doesn't work like that.

Hope you feel better soon. Breakups svck, but I guarantee you'll be ok in time. And having a long distance relationship with some Grecian chick with an interest in liberal arts already makes you seem kinda sixycool, so I wouldn't worry on that front (when you're ready). :happy:

There are many, many cases of broken heart deaths after a husband/wife die, and it's usually within a month or so of the first death, so I disagree with that statement also.

That's very true. I've had a great grandma pass even though she was healthy for her age - but her husband had gone a few months earlier. But I don't think the OP is in that situation - so don't get downhearted OP! You're young, and things will be ok.

Nope, I don't think the OP is in that situation. Just wanted the other poster to not be so cynical about deep-founded love.

That's called grieving yourself to death.

And it's funny that multiple people have called me "cynical" in this thread. I'm not cynical whatsoever. I believe in love, and I have loved many girls, and have been in love before.

But that doesn't mean that once we separated I wanted to kill myself, my life was ending, nothing mattered, I mean come on. You cannot believe that rubbish. There is a fine line between being mushy gushy and being downright naive.

I don't see the OP saying he wants to kill himself, nor is there any way to purposely grieve yourself to death as if they committed suicide. Yes, you are cynical. Some people DO feel that they are only whole when that certain someone is there with them, and when they are gone, they not only die inside, some quite literally die from the loss of that special love and bond. :shrug:

Explain to me how I'm cynical. Considering I believe in love, am a hopeless romantic, and have been in love before and know exactly what the OP has gone through, and I HAVE gone through it, and gotten by scotch free, just like pretty much everyone else in the world who has been in love.

And I'm sorry, but I refuse to believe someone can just "die" because your loved one is gone. You can get so depressed you ruin your body, thus dying, but that's psychological. If that makes me cynical, well, sure. I guess I just believe in logic, common sense, and science regarding the human body.

I'd say that depends on how long you've been with them. I mean, take my great grandparents - they met in their early teens, and married not too many years after. When he died, he was 78. She went at 75. They had spent most of their lives together - I can imagine after so much time, and after the world had changed so much around them, that the idea of life without him there must have been unbearable.
I've definitely been in love, but I don't pretend that it's made such an impact on my life as that. But to deny that it has an impact after so much time is just naive imo.

The post below this one explains it better than I could.

I've heard about really old people going through that, and IMO, that's them simply giving up, not it literally just killing them.

And anyway; all of this has been an argument based off nothing but semantics, as my original point stands. You are your own person, and you make your spouse/mate/whatever special, they weren't special to begin with. The relationship/bonding/moments make what you have special. That's hard to lose, sure. But your life is not over.

You don't meet someone and instantly think "OH MY GOD YOU ARE SPECIAL WE HAVE SUCH A CONNECTION LET'S GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES AND IF YOU DIE I'LL DIE TOO." Those sort of feelings are forged over time.

The world is freaking FULL of amazing/beautiful/interesting people that are just like you, and some that are nothing like you. Go meet some. This one girl wasn't the only option.

Terra Nova, I am sorry that it did not work out for you. I know how much it can hurt when relationships fail.
But your mom is correct, there are so many interesting people out there to meet, to make friends with, and eventually, have romantic relationships with.
This girl, she says she doesn't want a romantic relationship, but knows you do, and yet, still likes it when you talk to her.
She is stringing you along, she doesn't know what she wants. And it is costing you emotionally.
Move on, you deserve better. Do not make the mistake of judging others by her, it is not fair to them, nor to you.
Until then, enjoy yourself, No sense in self denial and self punishment because a relationship did not work out.

I think Jethrol also made a very valid point about the fact that people fall in love with an image they see as the person they love. Consequently, the reality of who that person is that they love, eventuallyconflicts with their mental imag. That, combined with other stresses in the relationship add to the mix, so the relationship often crumbles.
I also agree with Vel Marunus's stance. We cannot depend on another human being for our happiness. We must manufacture that ourselves. Yes, we can grieve the loss of loved ones, even those we have known for years, and it is devastating emotionally to have a loved one die. But, we exist as a seperate being, and the choices we make in how we deal with our grief can contribute positively or negatively to our own personal health. It's is up to us. They were special to us, because we loved them. Not because of how their snowflake was formed.

The feelings, emotions, life experiences either good or bad that you go through together does make that person special. And believe it or not, their are times that you can experience a love like no others, that you feel a bond not only physical and emotional, but also on a spiritual level. Where you feel like your souls are mingled somehow. It is very rare, but when it happens, it makes everyone else, and every other relationship, pale very much in comparison. So you are right, to a point, there really are no people that are more special than the rest all by themselves, but the love a person shares and the life and experiences they share is what makes them special.

Well it seems like you pretty much agree with what I said. What makes relationships special, and the people specifically, is what you go through and how the relationship plays out to get you to the point that you think they ARE special. If that makes any sense.

That may be true, but after that amount of time, how can that type of relationship not forge those types of feelings? The fact is, if you are with someone for that long, they do become your life. Friends marry off, then retire, then die. Children grow up, have families of their own. If you think your kids will always have your own happiness and comfort in mind then I see that as just as naive as thinking that true love formed over decades is easily overcome without any physical toll. I think the OP will be just fine after some recuperation time, but to suggest that his feelings of depression are easily dismissed is a bit harsh.

Yes, the best thing to do is feel the feelings, mourn them and then move on as soon as possible. Stuffing or trying to ignore them never work...

I'll agree that sometimes I don't express myself through the internet with the most..subtlety. But the guy has to know that there are millions of other woman that are just as interesting and beautiful and kind.

We need each other. I don't think there is ne person who does not need anybody.

So one day I'm laying in bed with my girl. She was touching me, it felt nice just feeling her hands. And... she noticed a cut on my body, a cut I was unaware of....I was surprised that she knew something about me ei diddnt, but ti was a noob then. Everyday u grow

Look op, sometimes we need to feel pain to know u were in love and feel human. Video games man, if u wanna aget lost, find da video game for a while, get lost and forget, but get sum one to watch over u

And you call me juvenile.

Depression caused by losing your loved one is a very serious thing. It's common sense.