The player takes contracts from the courier office located in Whiterun. The courier will have to pick up the package(s) from one point in Skyrim. Then the player will have to deliver the package to towns, outposts, settlements, etc. around Skyrim. The player must present the contract to the person who needs the package(s) delivered. The person requesting the delivery will give a short dialog about where they need the package delivered and why. The player can interrogate them as to what the package is, and why they’re delivering it if their speech is high enough. Should the player open the package, the quest will fail and the player can keep whatever is in the package. If the player chooses to deliver the package the player then must present the contract and the item to the receiver who will pay the player after the package was delivered.

The player takes contracts from lumber mills located around Skyrim (IE Riverwood) and delivers them to towns, outposts, settlements, etc. The player must chop the wood required, and then deliver it to whoever has requested the wood. The player will be paid on delivery of the wood. (Sometimes the player will be requested to move an insane amount of wood, so the player must figure out how to move it from point A to point B.)

The player can accept a contract from a local blacksmith from any of the holds, towns, etc. to acquire a specific type of Ingot, or ore. The player will accept the quest, and it will NOT show them mines where they can acquire the metal from. The player MUST MAKE the Ingots, and cannot purchase them from somewhere else. (The whole point is to not spend money to make money.)

A letter will be delivered to the player via courier. The letter writes:

EXPLORERS WANTED! The guild of Spelunkers, Treasure hunters, adventurers, and Steve is looking for recruits! Should you seek adventure, fortune, and Steve’s magnificent beard head to the nearest Explorers Guild recruiter (Located in every hold in Skyrim). Join today! For your chance at adventure, and a glimpse of Steve’s awesome beard, accept a contract and head out into the wilderness of Skyrim! Find out why your beard isn’t as awesome as Steve’s!

The player then gets a quest marker to the first Explorers Guild location. Upon arrival, the player is met by the recruiter who explains what the Explorers Guild is, what they do, and “The rules of Exploration!” The player then receives an item called “The beard of ADVENTURE!” which the player then must wear the entire time the player is contracted to explore. The player then accepts a contract to explore a random location in Skyrim, whether it is a cave, an outdoor location, a person’s house, etc. The player is required to fully explore, and bring back an item of “AWSOMENESS” to add to the Guilds collection of “AWESOME ADVENTURE LOOT!” When the player has collected enough “AWSOME ADVENTURE LOOT” the player then gets the chance to meet the magnificent Steve, and his magnificent beard. After meeting Steve, the player can accept what Steve calls “SUPER ADVENTURE” contracts from Steve. The contracts require the player to do Steve’s bidding, such as:

• Wearing Steve’s clothes and swimming around in the water to attract slaughter fish while he shouts at them from the shore.
  
• Running into a dragon’s lair and placing bottles of mead on the ground while Steve stands back and shouts at the dragon.
  
• Fighting a Giant with your fists while wearing Steve’s “SUPER AWESOME BOOTS OF BUTT KICKING”

The player is informed about a mage looking for an apprentice through rumors from innkeepers. A mage in Riverwood is seeking an apprentice for his own machinations. The player must report to the mage in Riverwood (he is usually hanging out either in the inn, our out with the cows. He likes cows.) When greeting the mage, the player learns the mages name “Sir Bov I Ene” who when spoken too, gets spooked and flees from the player, hiding somewhere in town. The player must then search for the mage around town. Eventually, the player discovers the mage, who is disguised as a cow. Upon speaking to the mage, he explains that he thinks there is an assassin after him by the name of Buu Chuur. The player must then investigate locations around Skyrim that the mage the player. Upon investigation the player finds items that are strange, such as:

• A damp rag
  
• Some grain in a bag
  
• A collar
  
• And finally a cowbell

When the player has located and returned these items to the mage, the mage then reveals that it is NOT A MAGE, BUT A COW IN HUMAN FORM! (What a twist!) The villain chasing after the mage is a butcher! While in line to be butchered, the cow had eaten a pack belonging to a mage who had stopped along the road to take a rest. Inside the pack was a potion of Transformation, which changed the cow into a man. The cow, after realizing what had just happened, kicked the mage in the groin, and made off with his gear. The butcher witnessing this event unfold, vowed to hunt down and recapture the cow. The mage then tells the player of the butcher’s location, and together they venture forth to vanquish the butcher, and end his reign of cow eating tyranny.

The player is alerted via courier, that Orc strongholds throughout Skyrim are overpopulated! The letter reads:

We have bred ourselves to near starvation. So to fix this issue the holds all have had a meeting. Cake was not served though, this being too serious of an issue, we orcs decided against it, for cake is a celebratory thing, not something to be eaten all willy nilly! After minutes of deliberating amongst ourselves a decision was finally made: We need to get rid of all the extra Orcs! So the meeting was adjourned, and the Chieftains of the Orc strongholds all returned home to get down to business, that being the adoption of orcs, not that other kind of business mind you, that is what started this trouble in the first place! ADOPT AN ORC TODAY! Save a life! Or not. Whichever. We have big orcs, small orcs, tall orcs, Paul orcs, you name it, and we probably have it (with the exception of Orcs named Phillip. They were all adopted by some strange man with a strange cane.) So head on over to your friendly land dwelling Stronghold and adopt an Orc today! DO IT OR WE’LL MAKE A HORDE AND KILL YOU ALL!

The player (after becoming accepted to the Orc strongholds via the normal way) is offered the option of adopting Orcs from the strongholds throughout Skyrim. It is entirely up to the player what to do with the newly acquired orcs, but here are some options!

• Throw them down a well!
  
• Feed them to a flock of ducks
  
• Drown them, and use their bodies as a bridge to a new world
  
• Practice skydiving off of the throat of the world
  
• See who can swim the furthest in lava!
  
• Hug a Centurion!
  
• The options are limitless!