Since we seem to get a Lonesome Road theory thread every week, let's just get all of them off our chests and out of our systems once and for all. Post your most ridiculous theory possible. Most ridiculous wins cake.


I believe that The Courier is unknowingly the Highlander. He set the Courier up under the false belief that Benny is also playing "the Game," hoping that Benny will be able to kill him. He is afraid of facing the Courier but not of facing Benny, thus he'd planned on facing Benny afterwards.
In the Lonesome Road, Ulysses will yell "there can be only one!" before trying to decapitate you with his flag pole.

Ulysseus is the couriers alter ego

:bunny: The courier gets to ulysseus and he screams out im your half brother! then they jump on a deathclaw and dance into the sunset :bunny:

The Courier threw Ulysses' brother from a high building while he was trying to rob it. In Lonesome Road, Ulysses and The Courier + a black companion whose name is a god from Greek mythology will play "Simon says" in order to defuse bombs throughout The Divide. In the end we will find Ulysses' address on an aspirin bottle and blow up his vertibird with a 357. magnum.

Ulysses was actually a captive aboard Mothership Zeta, and after being tested on for decades by the aliens he gained the ability to see into the future, thus allowing him to foresee what would happen to whoever took the job carrying the platinum chip.

Well that was downright stupid :facepalm:

Ulysses is the Courier's brother, except he only materialized after the Courier went to Mariposa Military Base and dunk his head in a vat of FEV. You see, the Courier had conjoined twin myslexia, so Ulysses was a fetus attached to the Courier's head. When the Courier stuck his head in, Ulysses leaped off the Courier's head and morphed into an African American with dreadlocks. Not thinking much of it, the Courier left and started delivering stuff to places. 60 years later, the events of New Vegas occur, and Ulysses discovers his long lost sibling is alive, and wants to confront him/her because he was upset that he was abandoned.

No I like it.

It just needs a change so that Ulysses foresees the Courier being the cause of destruction in the Mojave, and thus Ulysses sees it as vital that he dies. He tried to kill him once before, apparently failed, and tried to kill him again, foreseeing that Benny would do it.
For another twist, the canon ending turns out to be Legion or Independent Vegas, meaning that Ulysses started a self-fulfilling prophecy by putting the Courier in that position.

Ulysses is a Chupacabra with an automatic weapon. :spotted owl:

Ulysses is a member of the Capitol Wasteland BoS. He travelled to the Divide in Mothership Zeta to retrieve a flagpole that also functions as a Dart Gun from FO3. After he completes his mission his UFO breaks and requires the platinum chip to fly again. Then Ulysses hunts down the Courier for it. Unfortunately, he was slain by the Courier. Aftterwards, the Courier flies to the Capitol wasteland and finds Winterized T51b power armor, Jingwei's shocksword, 15 dart guns, 20 different, new swords, and recruits Liberty Prime as a new companion. Finally the Courier passes through 47 loading screens and ends up back in the Lucky 38. You are all aware you want this to happen.

Ulysses is actually white

1. The Courier arrived in the Mojave by jumping through an anomaly and brought Cazadores with him. Ulysses was the only witness to the event and vows justice as the Courier's actions have unwittingly brought a new threat to the mojave wasteland which ends up killing his family.

2. Ulysses and The Courier were members of G-Force hunting the illusive giant gecko called Gojira when the Courier's actions startled the giant reptile and caused it to step on Ulysses home and family. Ulysses has sworn revenge.

3. After the events of Vault 22 the Courier is unknowingly infecting the mojave population with the spore plants spores.

Lonesome Road starts like this......Caesar goes up to you and his head pops off. If you already killed him, he rises from the grave and his head pops off. Then Ulysses comes up to you and says: Meet me at the Divide, we have to give each other messages. Then you go to the Divide, travelling the Lonesome Road filled with talking mushrooms and pink frogs. When you get to the Divide. Ulysses says: Want some noodles? You say: I have a message to deliver. Ulysses says: That message is *head pops off*. Caesar comes up from the grave and says: You are not so fearsome! *Head pops up like a rocket and flies up into the air*. No-Bark comes up to you and barks. A chupacabra with an automatic weapon shoots him and it is the final boss of the DLC.

Does this mean the uber weapon of LR will be the glove that harnesses the Singularity? :hubbahubba:

The courier jumps on a tank and declares it better then power armor.

Courier told him the cake was a lie.

Ulysses dedicated the rest of his life to ending that meme once and for all.

.....If that was the case I'd throw myself onto his eagle pole thing.

So Ulysses is spiderman in an alternate universe where spiderman was a courier. The Courier is actually a strong, independent woman who walks with attitude and doesn't need a man. The Courier is being chased by Ulysses, who is a total scrub, and if the TLC song taught us anything, it's that

A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly
And is also known as a buster
Always talkin' about what he wants
And just sits on his broke [censored]
So (no)

I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side
Of his best friend's ride
Trying to holler at me
I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side
Of his best friend's ride
Trying to holler at me

So the Courier needs to kill Ulysses so Ulysses will find some other woman (in Courier Hell), cuz da Courier don't need a boo to tell her what to do.

I think I deserve cake for that.

After finding out Ulysses has gathered any army the postma... I mean courier must gather an army himself. After an hour and a half of building an equal sized army they will look upon each other and say.

"Bethla... Ahem Ulysses let's just duel!" "Sounds good postma... ahem courier!"

And the hour and a half will seem waisted.

This is why they end up fighting in the Divide in a hopefully dramatic and intense open range area: Courier: "Ulysses, you have to tell me how you got those super cool dread-locks that no one in the entire world knows how to create!" Ulysses: "No." Courier: "A fight to the death it is then!".

The courier drank the last beer & Ulysses is pissed!!

Lonesome road wont have any roads!