A lot of the older, hardcoe, old school gamers would say the numbers are exactly what defines a crpg, and if you actually have to role play (aka LARP, let's pretend, Barbie dress up and worse), then the game has failed because your imagination is doing the dev's job for them. Choosing whether to get better at that, or this, is a role playing element, even if it's not in a bona fide role playing game. Obviously there are other elements that COD is missing, and no one would call their in game avatar their 'character' in a shooter like this, but levelling and stats are, while not 'what it's all about', a defining characteristic or crpgs.
Numbers are used in cRPGs for a reason, however. They're not used just because gaining another level and assigning more numbers is role-play in itself but because it helps the feeling of character progression, and character progression is part of the role play experience. Regarding forced role-playing, I would like to see the hardcoe RPG gamer who complains about having to role-play, as long as he's not forced to role-play in a specific way or role and as long as we're talking actual role-play rather than the "here's a blank paper, make up a story" dialogue and quests in Skyrim.
LARP isn't exactly a cRPG so let's keep that out of it. Having to play dress-up is also not particularly role-play intensive (unless we also have to RP taking a dump and wiping our butt afterwards), though having to pick an attire that isn't obviously giving you away as something other than what you want some person to believe, well, that's a nice RP feature. If I want to pretend I'm not a member of the Thieves Guild then I shouldn't wear their armor. Makes sense. If I want to pretend to be a Stormcloak courier then i should wear their armor. If I wear Legion armor while walking into a Stormcloak camp then they should attack me on sight. Makes sense.
Classes are used in RPGs for a purpose. Classes in themselves are not RPG'ish, but classes for the purpose of character progression is an element you'd consider typical to cRPGs and RPGs in general. By the way, the heroes in the Heroes of Might and Magic series had classes and attributes and could learn skills. Was Heroes an RPG or a TBS game? I wouldn't even say it had RPG elements, because the heroes were mercs for hire who could be customized. Yes, they would learn over time but they were not "characters".
You're right in that if I have to imagine everything that happens with the game doing sod all to help my imagination then it's a failure of the game. That isn't because everything has to be measured in numbers and classes and whatnot, but rather because actions have consequences. If I imagine that the smith walks in on me doing his wife then she's likely to have a soap eye the next day. I can of course imagine that she does but when I enter the shop and look at her, there's no such mark. And the smith isn't acting any differently towards me than he always is, which is also rather odd.
What it comes down to is a distribution of responsibility. It is the responsibility of the game developer to make a world that is immersive and responds to play actions. It's not my responsibility, as an RPG gamer, to imagine *everything* and pretend it happens, when clearly it isn't happening in the game world that I'm actually seeing on the screen.
I can pretend to have taken a bad fall and not use sprint for a couple of days. That's fine with me, the game shouldn't force that, but I can choose to experience it. I can't pretend that a person responsible for mass murder didn't just give me back evidence that would condemn him and I can't pretend that I gave this evidence to proper authorities when said person is still walking around. I also can't pretend to be a good Legion soldier when so many Stormcloak camp leaders are utterly immortal. How can I cleanse the world from stormcloaks when I can't even clear out a single camp?