So I got down to thinking, what could be a hilarious build to create that is just for a laugh and not really serious about the combat. And then it struck me ... the new class for Skyrim is ... /drumroll ...... The Pimp!

Class: Pimp

Race: Any

Skills: Smithing ( To create your pimpalicious gold jewelry ) (I know it doesn't require perks but go with it )

Speech ( Every Pimp has to be a smooth talker to sway the customers and bribe the guards in case he gets busted )

Conjuration ( Where else are you going to get your lovely ladies ( or guys if your a woman RPing the Pimp or if that's what you prefer )

Illusion ( For further swaying of needed customers and people alike )

Playstyle: Let's start with the basics, your Pimp MUST be dressed in the finest clothes available. Find or buy the sweetest, swaggerest, swankiest ( I think that means good? ) clothes possible, purple if you can find them. Second, your Pimp must be decked out in the finest jewelry available. Solid gold neckalaces and rings only ( jewels optional ) if you embed your gold with some gems, they must be flawless diamonds, Pimps settle for no less. Third, find yourself a golden staff ( your Pimp Cane of Doom ). All will waver at your solid gold cane of stature and might. And your not a true Pimp unless you have the cane. Fourth, conjuration at level 100 is a must have. Early Pimps may have to start of with only one "employee" that only stays in service for a few minutes at a time ... but the GrandMaster Pimps will always have two employees at their service that will never leave ( if you catch my conjuration drift, 3 if you add your companion to the mix ). Finally, proceed about the major cities, only the nice ones, common rabble like Falkreath should not deserve your time, and parade your employees about the town, showing what kind of goods their packing. If any customers attempt to harm your employees, you smack the with the cane and let them know their place! Always keep your employees safe and sound so they can stay under your employment! Lastly, your pray to none of the divines, you pray to the God of all Pimps, Slickback.

So let's recap on the Pimp. The must haves if you will. Fine clothes. Jewelry, your pimp cane, and of course, your lovely employees. Stay strong my fellow Pimps, and remember, always pray to Slickbacl, for he is our guide in our trying lifestyle, let his backhand give us strength!

Obviously this is a joke. But I thought it was pretty funny without being completely tasteless, some may think otherwise. Let me know what you guys think, if it was funny, if it svcked ect. Also, if you have any class/builds that you think are funny, let's here them!

His name is http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Pimp_Named_Slickback, not Slickback.


Other than that, I was highly amused by this thread.

inB4 someone says they've been pimping since Morrowind,and Morrowind pimpin' was flyer

Ah yes how could I forget. Sorry A Pimp Named Slickback, forgive my errors and do not backhand me like your employees .

You also have to be a khajiit.

So your pimp hand can be strong.

Pimps Prayer: Spell-like ability used once per day. Prays for the souls of [censored]es while the divines guide the pimp hand and make it strong, dealing damage to hos, so that they might learn their place. Amen.

and pimps tend to have a lot of fur and a lot of a tail. then again they also wear a lot of gator so an Argonian could also work.

[censored], please!

Argonians do not have the sheer power of the Khajiit's pimp hand, to spread the discipline of A Pimp Named Slickback.

Heh, I thought you'd be a redguard... Is that racist?

Oh dear god this forum just went there...

Amen! If someone could mod a statue of A Pimp Named Slickback into the game and make it prayable. Your sir, would become the best modder in all of existence.

How can I play a pimp, when I'm already a [censored] to the Thalmor? Or is it the Imperial remnant? No wait... The Storm Cloaks.

But whatever. http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs15/f/2007/106/3/5/Sheogorath_by_UrbanZebra.jpg

This build was doable in both Morrowind and Oblivion. I wouldn't say any of that's new to Skyrim, except crafting your own jewelry, as opposed to just buying it.

Once the Creation Kit comes out, I'm making a mod which was supposed to be a lone wondering person, but now that I think about it, I may just replace M'aiq with this person. Someone we all know and love (or at least laugh at)... CHRISTIAN BALE! Yes... complete with all the rant audio and its own questline... which will involve torches... or magelight... but definitely lights... which you will manipulate in some way, and incur the wrath of Christian Bale.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hR5YNqE3K8

All hail A Pimp Named Slickback and his might backhand of pimp wisdom. Mayb his knowledge and back handed ferocity grace us all so we may yet walk away stronger pimps to guide the land. Amen.

That's gold.

Very good laugh from me... Thank you

What would be a suitable outfit for this class?

I can't find a decent pimp suit or hat, though I have some pretty nice-looking canes.

I come from a generation of pimps, my family been pimpin since pimpin been pimpin, you come from a family of assistant pimps.

Emperor's Robes go nicely.

It goes without saying that you need translucent boots with goldfish (or at least a River Betty) in them, and a summonable minion who can crack a whip on the dance floor a la the "Hey Ladies" video...change the carriages into merlot Brougham Cadillacs, replace the Alto Wine with Courvoisier...

Redguard is the most appropriate for the look. Also, regenerating stamina quickly keeps his pimp-slapping hand fueled.

Emperor's Robes for sure. Not sure about hats, perhaps a circlet of some description? Or that fine hat with the tail hanging down.

... Y'all racist.

Pope Sweet Jesus, give 'em the hand.

We are racist. Darn those scaley, spike-tail'd Argonians. We'd be better off without them breathing in our air.