Skyrim Wins Again, Rudest Guards In A Game.... : V

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 3:39 pm

Whiterun Guard: "So you can cast a few spells. Am I supposed to be impressed."

My High Elf: "You're a total @ss. Am I supposed to be impressed."

Really, I want to gut every guard in the game.

» Sat Jun 02, 2012 1:08 am

Did someone steal your sweet roll? :dance:

But seriously, I agree! I will on at least one character I make. Maybe an Orc or Khajit.

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 12:29 pm

Guard: "You there! What do you know about this?" *referring to some murder I wasn't around for*

Me: "I don't have to answer your questions."

Guard: "Maybe a night in jail will make you want to talk."

Me: "You don't scare me."

Guard: "Then you are hereby under arrest."

Then I'm given the option of going to jail or resisting. But seriously, what the [censored]? They have no evidence that I was involved. I'm the damn Thane. plus I have Guild connections. They can't touch me!

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 11:30 am

Then I'm given the option of going to jail or resisting. But seriously, what the [censored]? They have no evidence that I was involved. I'm the damn Thane. plus I have Guild connections. They can't touch me!

Even with connections, being a dike back doesn't help when it comes to ye olde law enforcement. I said the exact same thing, but expected such a reaction from the guard I'm talking back to.

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 10:56 am

Even with connections, being a dike back doesn't help when it comes to ye olde law enforcement. I said the exact same thing, but expected such a reaction from the guard I'm talking back to.

Well they're dikes to me all the time, as the OP pointed out.

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 10:49 am

HALT HALT HALT HALT HALT.

STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 5:02 pm

HALT HALT HALT HALT HALT.

STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!

YOU VIOLATED MY MOTHER

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 2:23 pm

Meh, rudeness I can handle. In a war torn country overrun by dragons, usurpers and undead I doubt the local law enforcement would be very tolerant. What tickles me however is this:

Guard: "You! You wiped out the whole Dark Brotherhood. You have done us a service we will never forget."
Me: "Aww shucks, It was nothing officer."
Guard "Stay out of trouble elf!"
Me: "..."

Or

Guard: "You vanquished a great evil and saved our very souls."
Me: "Wan't to get a drink? I'll tell you all about it."
Guard: "Let me guess. Someone took your sweetroll?"
Me: "..."

Don't be nice to me in once breath and then insult me in the next. It makes me worry that you might need psychiatric help.

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 11:59 pm

Guard- "Maybe I'm the dragonborn, and I just don't know it yet."
Me- "Can you do this? FUS RO DAH!"
Guard- "Stop all that shouting, you're making people nervous."
Me- "Yeah. Didn't think so."

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 10:54 pm

At first i was an adventurer like you... ah nevermind...

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 11:34 am

At least their magical guard sense doesn't start tingling when you murder someone in the middle of a night without anyone noticing, like with the Imperial guards. :tongue:

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 11:12 pm

No but they follow you around Skyrim

In Whiterun: "I'm watching you sneak thief."

In Solitude: "I'm watching you sneak thief."

In Riften: "I'm watching you sneak thief."

Same voice. He really is watching her but she isn't a thief....yet.

» Sat Jun 02, 2012 2:00 am

"Psst... I know who you are. Hail sithis."

The guards are Skyrim's illuminati.

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 10:39 am

At least their magical guard sense doesn't start tingling when you murder someone in the middle of a night without anyone noticing, like with the Imperial guards. :tongue:

No, now they talk psychically talk to chickens and horses, instead.

Really, murdering someone is one thing, but having to slaughter all their livestock to get rid of potential witnesses is just weird.

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 9:41 pm

I actually prefer the Wes Johnson Imperial Guards over Skyrim's guards, much better dialoge. You can't beat, "STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM"!, or "FOR THE EMPIRE"!

Skyrim's guards are more annoying then rude.

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 9:59 pm

"Let me guess, someone stole your sweetroll"
"You're that new companion, what do you bring them their mead" when you're the harbinger
"Stay out of trouble, elf"

aren't rude comments. Those are very rude comments. They guards should just shut up unless spoken to as should half of those in Skyrim who only have one line to say the entire 150+ hrs of game play. I've played the game well over 400 hrs and that eats on me the most.

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 4:06 pm

Guard: "You there! What do you know about this?" *referring to some murder I wasn't around for*

Me: "I don't have to answer your questions."

Guard: "Maybe a night in jail will make you want to talk."

Me: "You don't scare me."

Guard: "Then you are hereby under arrest."

Then I'm given the option of going to jail or resisting. But seriously, what the [censored]? They have no evidence that I was involved. I'm the damn Thane. plus I have Guild connections. They can't touch me!

At least Skyrim is realistic in how law enforcement treat the average citizen. :biggrin:

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 1:41 pm

Guard- "Maybe I'm the dragonborn, and I just don't know it yet."
Me- "Can you do this? FUS RO DAH!"
Guard- "Stop all that shouting, you're making people nervous."
Me- "Yeah. Didn't think so."

To be fair, using thuum didn't mean you are the dragonborn. And the high king has just being killed using that magic. It's logic guards asking you to stop using thuum in the city.

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 5:41 pm

Randomly walking around Vivec City:
"We're watching you, scum."

Morrowind wins.

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 10:36 pm

I plan on systematically killing a majority of the guards in each city via my thief/assassin Khajit character.... Should be fun lmao :tongue:

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 10:11 am

Randomly walking around Vivec City:
"We're watching you, scum."

Morrowind wins.

I prefer that to asinine comments about sweetrolls or fetching mead.

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 1:12 pm

Meh, They try to arrest me, I'll throw a Dremora Lord at em. "I smell weakness." "There you are weakling!"

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 11:09 pm

As some random flavour NPC in the whiterun inn will tell you, all of the guards are lazy and undisciplined, and that needs to be sorted out.

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 10:03 am

Bethesda thinks we're all masochists.

» Fri Jun 01, 2012 7:56 pm

As some random flavour NPC in the whiterun inn will tell you, all of the guards are lazy and undisciplined, and that needs to be sorted out.

Don't forget corrupt as hell.