Welcome mat : V

» Fri Nov 16, 2012 10:59 pm

There's a doormat in the entryway of my home and I'm now lamenting the fact that I can't customize it. You know, like some people have "Welcome" or "Home Sweet Home" on their doormats.

I'd like mine to read: "Never should have come here!"

» Sat Nov 17, 2012 4:05 am

Love it !!

» Fri Nov 16, 2012 10:44 pm

There's a doormat in the entryway of my home and I'm now lamenting the fact that I can't customize it. You know, like some people have "Welcome" or "Home Sweet Home" on their doormats.

I'd like mine to read: "Never should have come here!"

Love it !!

love it!!

» Sat Nov 17, 2012 12:27 am

Or maybe: "Trespassers will be battle axed. Survivors will be prosecuted."

» Fri Nov 16, 2012 8:31 pm

lol

You picked a bad time to get lost, friend.

You'll be so much easier to rob when you're dead!

You won't live here alive!

Prepare to die!

True Nords wipe their feet!

Falkreath Manor belongs to the Dragonborn!

» Sat Nov 17, 2012 6:31 am

Wipe your claws

» Sat Nov 17, 2012 5:11 am

Or if you did the Companions quest:

A shadow of a charging werewolf, and the words: "I CAN MAKE IT TO THE FENCE IN 2.1 SECONDS... CAN YOU?"

» Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:20 pm

Or maybe: "Trespassers will be battle axed. Survivors will be prosecuted."

...Survivors will be Soul Trapped :evil:

Or if you did the Companions quest:

A shadow of a charging werewolf, and the words: "I CAN MAKE IT TO THE FENCE IN 2.1 SECONDS... CAN YOU?"

...i laughed the hardest at this... Excellent

» Sat Nov 17, 2012 1:53 am

Thank you. We aim to please.

How's about... 'KHAJIIT - The Other White Meat'

» Sat Nov 17, 2012 8:19 am

i always wanted a realistic mat in real life that reads "WIPE THE SHIIT OFF YOUR SHOES" because people never do

» Fri Nov 16, 2012 7:05 pm

For a Sword User: "Trespassers will be Impaled."
For a Dark Brotherhood Member: "Trespassers will be Backstabbed."
For a Destruction Mage: "Trespassers will be Incinerated."
For an archer or crossbowman: "Trespassers will be Shot. Survivors will be ~~Prosecuted~~ Shot Again."
For a vampire: "Trespassers will be svcked Dry."
For a werewolf: "Trespassers will be Devoured."
For an alchemist: "Trespassers will be Harvested for Ingredients."
For a Dragonborn who uses the Odahviing shout: "Trespassers will be Dragon Chow."

» Sat Nov 17, 2012 5:16 am

"Trespassers will feel the wrath of my pet Mudcrab."

» Sat Nov 17, 2012 3:19 am

Or if you did the Companions quest:

A shadow of a charging werewolf, and the words: "I CAN MAKE IT TO THE FENCE IN 2.1 SECONDS... CAN YOU?"

Lol you nearly made me spit my drink on my monitor.

» Fri Nov 16, 2012 10:23 pm

You can actually get a sign like that IRL. It has a picture of various attack dogs (Dobermans, German Shepherds, etc.), and says "I can make it to the fence in 2.8 seconds... can you?" Or a variation on the theme.

Another variation on a theme:

"This House Guarded by CROSSBOW

Three Nights a Week

YOU GUESS WHICH THREE!"

» Sat Nov 17, 2012 3:57 am

"TOO SOON"

» Sat Nov 17, 2012 5:25 am

You picked a bad time to get lost friend. Also maybe Tresspassers will be disintergrated.

» Fri Nov 16, 2012 8:04 pm

(...)
You won't live here alive!
(...)

You won't LIVE here alive? I assume that one will be for vampire's only, since they're undead.

» Sat Nov 17, 2012 12:50 am

"Abandon Ye Inhibitions, ye who enter here" for your bachelor pad
"Wipeth Thine Boots" for you neat freaks
"No Dragons or Solicitors" because who WANTS solicitors?
"Hagraven Night- Tuesday 9pm-12am"

» Fri Nov 16, 2012 6:57 pm

NO MILK-DRINKERS ALLOWED!

» Sat Nov 17, 2012 6:42 am

"Stewards who refuse to provide a door mat die!"

Braggen is heartbroken, but at least he has a doormat now. The new steward wasted no time instantly providing the doormat I had never seen.

» Fri Nov 16, 2012 5:17 pm

"I used to be a throw rug, then I took an arrow to the knee..."

» Sat Nov 17, 2012 7:20 am

My Khajiit might have something like this.

WELCOME TO THE HOME OF CH'ZAR IRONPELT
KHAJIIT ARE WELCOME
KHAJIIT HATERS ARE WELCOME TO LEAVE!

» Sat Nov 17, 2012 12:15 am

WHAT IN OBLIVION IS THAT...on your shoes

» Sat Nov 17, 2012 3:04 am

"I used to be a Khajiit, then I took a knife to the skin." :devil:

» Fri Nov 16, 2012 4:08 pm

"Akatosh bless this house. My Thu'um protects it."