So, I married Aela. She came on to me pretty strong, so I was like whatever.

Anyway, I was assuming she'd chill out in Breezehome, but since the ceremony I've only found that glutton Lydia up their scarfing down my food and happiness. I can't even find Aela in Jorrvaskr.

Anyone have a similar issue?

Lydia ate Aela. Don't know why, but i'm sure of it.

Quest scripts make NPCs actually walk from place to place. And sometimes they seem to take their sweet time to do so. So she's probably on her way from Riften to Whiterun. Try waiting for a day or so and then checking both Jorrvaskr and Breezehome.

Check the Temple of Mara (where you got married). The character animation after the ceremony shows them going out the front door, but I've always found them still waiting in the Temple.

Thanks guys, will report back

She probably zero-sum'd.