i purchased one in whiterun and have no idea where it is can't seem to find it on the map.

Fast travel to "Whiterun" which drops you just inside the main city gate. The first building to your right is Warmaiden's. The second building to your right is Breezehome. That's your house.

thanks....i can barely hear what npcs say in the game half the time but i kind remember hearing that.

If you're having trouble hearing the voice overs well, enable subtitles. Immensely helpful to me!

good idea...the background music is too loud.

Subtitles said above. Also turn down music, turn up dialogue or whatever it's called.

I suggest turn up background music to the most powerful level, summon a storm and go to glorious battle with the town guard. when you stand victorious all that you see shall be yours!
Thats how I played Morrowind, back when you could kill whatever you wanted.

When you buy a house, you should get a quest marker for "visit your new home."