Greetings all. First off, let me say that this isn't a thread in which I'm looking for advice or any pity/sympathy/what have you, this is just me trying to get my head figured out. I aplogise in advance, this may get pretty long.

Alright, some of you may remember some posts of mine over the past several months about a girl that I was 'pursuing' (or rather, trying to) and had even asked out. Well, we never did go out and I'm not sure if she really forgot like she tried to claim or just pretended to forget because she knew that I'd let it slide.
We stayed friends and I kept hanging out with her once a week while she worked at her mom's place (and went to her uni and community band concerts) as well as occasional texting conversations. Things went alright as far as I could tell, then suddenly they went... wonkey (?sp?). To spair you a looong list of details (my memory in regards to her is better than usual)I'll try to simplify- one night I sent her a text asking if she wanted to get together and talk one night when she wasn't working (at this time she had two jobs) and she seemed receptive, but didn't respond anymore after what ended up being my last text.
The next time that I was able to physically talk to her (while she was working at her mom's)she was in a weird mood, even for her. At times she ignored me entirely, and at one point she was even a tad hostile towards me. During that night, she told her best friend (who was also hanging out with her) and I that her manager at her other job had quit the week before. This is important later on. When I brought up our last texting conversation, she went, "you didn't text me back" rather snidely. I told her, "I texted you back; you didn't text me back." She tried to argue, but I grabbed my cellphone and showed her that I did indeed send her another text.
The next day I thought to myself, 'she was mad at me because she thought that I dropped the texting convo', so after some debate I sent her a text along with an apology. During this convo, she said that she wasn't mad at me, but "....you do realize that we are just friends right". I was a little confused because had never made that distinction before, but I also thought that it was understood that for all intents and purposes we were only friends (even though if any of you you had seen the two of us together you'd have a hard time believing it, but her anticts was all that there was). The next week, everyone found out that her and her former manager had been secretly carrying on a relationship (I think that her bestie knew along though, and I did suspect a few times) and moved in with him a week later.
Now at this time I figure that I'm done having any interest with her other than being friends, if we still are. I did feel more than a little hurt and angry, but I kept it out of everything. She no longer works at her mom's, so I'm unable to see her there (well, not exactly, I have seen her vehicle out in front several times) and I have not texted her since the previous time.

So yesterday, I get back to the warehouse location that the company that I work for is at, but my boss and co-worker aren't there, they're done at her mom's shop (which is a short walk away). When I get there, my boss is ready to go back to the warehouse and finish up a few things when her mom makes a comment to my co-worker (who's the same age as her daughter), then says "A______'s single again." Then after my boss makes a joke about is she crazy? Why's she telling my co-worker? "I wasn't. I was telling Brock." (which is me)
At this point my boss and co-worker go back to the warehouse and her mom informs me that she lived with him for a week and a half, then came back to her mom rather disgusted and angry, not wanting anything to do with him anymore. Both of us like this guy, but I was pretty surprised by how quickly she wanted to accelerate their relationship. However, during this conversation I pretty quickly realise that her mom's trying to steer me towards her, which is interesting since last year she had some issues with me just hanging out with her (there's a bit of an age gap between us), but now her mom says "She needs an older guy..." I understood, someone who could be patient with her. All of the responses that I made to her, I made just as the two of us being friends, nothing more.
Later, after getting done with work, as the three of us were leaving, we say her vehicle out in front of her mom's, and I'm sure the two of them where wondering if I was going down to talk to her. I didn't. I just got in my car and left.

For right now, I'm not sure where the two of us stand with each other, but I am not going to try to pursue her. I know that her community band has a performance tomorrow, but I don't know if she's going to perform in it, or if she would even want to see me there. My only plans for right now is to send her a text on her birthday (which is in about two weeks) and ask her if she wants her present (which she already knows about, a shirt and lounge pants).

If you suffered through all of that, thank you and you have my sympathies. I just need to get this off of my chest, and really don't want to talk about this with anyone who personally knows either her or me. I think that there might be a few of you who may have an "I told you so" mentality from my earlier posts, I kindly ask that you keep those thoughts to yourself.

I think that covers it pretty good.

And so the tables turn.

Quite a story you have there; My advice? Keep doing what your doing. Play the brooding, uncaring guy, but who occasionally has a soft side. The whole "Send a Text on her birthday" thing sounds good. Shows her that you care enough to remember.

If it ends up with you two in a relationship, good. If she couldn't care less, at least you didn't put yourself out there.

Good luck with whatever happens, buddy.

Worf says go to her and beg like a human

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zweQgrLjh_s

JAHO

Just forget her man. She doesn't sound like she's worth the effort. If you're done with her, cut off all contact, the 'friends' thing is a waste of time. All she'll ever see you as is a lapdog, just put her out of your mind.

That's quite the interesting story. At least your story isn't as pathetic as mine, so rest easy mate. The parent makes things a tad tricky. I would say just continue with the friendship and cross any bridges when you come to them. Only time will tell. Although you should try pursueing other people because she sounds like too hard of a nut to crack.

Guy who cares and worries and thinks things through gets to worry and stress.
Guy who doesn't give a damn gets what he wants.
That's life, harsh and only unfair from the point of view of the guy who cares.
Time to move on. None of this should mean a damned thing when you have someone else in your arms. So I would suggest aiming for that.

Should have seen one of those coming.


Easier said then done, for one thing I've known her over five years and have had 'feelings' for her for over a year. Another thing is, she's the closest thing I've ever had to a 'relationship' in my life.
Yes, I am that pathetic.

As for trying to find someone else? Considering how rarely I try, and how it always fails, I'm not going to bother, I'll just stay a recluse.

Long time, no see, Sword. Get the truth out of her, and you will know..

A JAHO is always needed.

But I'll actually post my thoughts on this. I think you should start seeing different people since this girl doesn't even seem like she'd make a good friend. Just my two cents.

This.

Or this.





I don't know.

Honestly, she sounds like a whacked out flaky [censored]. Forget her.

That's a loser attitude, and chicks don't dig losers unless they want to use them. Go after other people, it might make her jealous. Or, you might find someone that will make her seem a ridiculous memory. It's really down to you.

Long story short: Women are crazy. They don't know what the hell they want (yes I know that doesn't apply to every girl).

Suffice it to say, since this is the closest youve been to getting a relationship, you can be sure that you can't trust yourself not to fall for the first-time-fling symptoms. Like zen said, when you have someone in your arms, none of this stuff matters.

Chicks don't dig losers, but they also don't dig [censored]s but they always date them regardless.

If you go out and try to wheel someone else, you might find they might be closer to your tastes than the other person, and that sometimes happens. Plus, love svcks when all it is is hot daggers slashing and stabbing at you and the one slashing you is yourself. It's best to avoid that.

Heres some advice man. If you don't have confidence then fake it till you make it. No, really. Put on some nice clothes. Go out and be a braggy tool. Your mission is to let everyone know how awesome you are. Now, when you learn what it means to have a confident vibe, tone it down so you're not a [censored]. And once again, CONFIDENCE. If there was a currency for getting women, its confidence. Now, tell yourself youre awesome, and believe in yourself so that girls will too.

Your name is Brock?

I might have to read through it again, but it still doesn't seem like she's interested I'm afraid. From what I gathered her relationship fell through and her Mum is the one trying to play matchmaker for some reason. Considering she told you that you were just friends I wouldn't put any value in what other people imply over her own words.

I shall reread to see if I missed something which actually came from the girl in question involving you - I may have been distracted by the Brock bit.

You didn't miss much at all, and why would my name distract you?

Now to be honest I skimmed over her 'anticts' because a lot of it would violate forum rules as well as my gentlemanly ways (she could turn any conversation dirty), she just enjoyed messing with my mind. Now I'm trying to put it back together, maybe in a slightly different way though.




edit- just happened to think, her mom didn't disprove of her last relationship, but did not like that she moved in with him like she did

I don't know.
Well if she's got a very dirty sense of humour/talks very openly, or is otherwise quite tactile, I'd say just tell her it makes you uncomfortable or gives you mixed messages. If it's that much a part of her personality then maybe it's best if you remain more distant friends. It's not fair on you if it gets you confused, but at the end of the day, if she's said you're just friends, I wouldn't get your hopes up based on what some other people say. Hopefully you can both move past it and be friends though. Unless you do honestly think she just enjoyed messing with you, in which case you'd be best removing yourself from the situation.

Perversion, everyone has, whether it is evident, or not. If your perversion matches hers, then you can identify with her. If not, then go elsewhere..

She didn't really start being as bad as she got until around Valentine's Day this year, and at one point I just told her "TMI" because I was getting uncomfortable, which disappointed her, but she did tone things down for a while. However, I quickly got used to it and even made her uncomfortable one time.
Actually, I thought it was interesting how when her (ex)manager was around, I toned things down but she didn't, yet when her best friend was around, she toned things way down and I acted the same.

Let's put it this way, if her mom doesn't like you, then it's a good thing..

Doesn't look like she's a bit interested in you.

You may love her as a friend, if you can handle it. That's not pathetic, if you know what you're in for and stick to it. It's pathetic if you knew you can't take it and still whining about it.

I never really understood where in the world people get such a ridiculous notion from. I'm a very nice guy, I've never treated a girl badly, I've never acted like an [censored], a jerk, a [censored], or anything of that sort, I've always been thoughtful, calm, and easy-going, and I never had a problem getting girls. To put it bluntly, at one point in time I had been labeled the "Town Male [censored]", because I dated so many different girls, and everyone thought I had slept with all the girls(except the girls themselves, whom all knew better, and laughed at the rumor). The idiotic notion that "[censored]s and bad-boys get the girls" is as ludicrous as the idea that the earth is flat.

Erm, don't think I said anything related to what you just posted. Of course it's a ludicrous notion.

I just said our guy here is going nowhere with a quitter attitude. And this chick is not worth the hassle or emotional investment.

When one's emotion is weighted in worthiness, one's humanity is weightless.