Do you have to leave/enter through front gate or will fast travelling to the city/palace be enough?
Do you have to enter over differant days, or can you just keep leaving/entering all in one night?
I'm guessing you have to enter the city at night after the 4 times for there to be a group of people at the graveyard, but do you have to wait for a little bit or do they spawn there (does it take time for the people to walk to the graveyard?)
Also, i keep getting dialogue from the people in windhelm that goes like "first my wife now my daughters" and other dialogue that suggests the quest has started, but its not on my list at all.
Any help would be greatly appreciated, coz this is really starting to p!$$ me off....