We all have them. Funny things that we did as kids.


When I was about 8 or 9 me and and couple of friends decided to dig a hole to China. We got some shovels and started digging! We got maybe 8 or 12 inches deep before we decided that China wasn't worth the effort. Boy, my dad was not happy about a hole right in back of the house.


How about you good people?

Helped the neighbors husk corn on the cob as a wee lad. Stuck a kernal of corn up my nose in the process. Hours later when I was being put to bed I told my mom that my nose hurt and what I had done. Off to the ER. I got put out so the doctors could wedge it out somehow. Woke up and freaked out because I had an IV in my hand.


I was about 4 or 5. To this day needles scare the [censored] out of me.

I'm sorry for laughing but that's funny!

That's the point of the thread! Plus it is a hilarious story.

2-caps hails from a very small town in Kansas (just like Dorothy gale I say). Very poor and rural population maybe 18 (back then ghost town now pretty much) and most of them uhh hillbilly blood kin.

Anyway these are about my sisters father mother but my grandma enough.

The first just makes me smile because I really thought I was slick back then,and really did not understand how I was always caught.

Grandma's house was just down the road a piece (about 2 blocks say in a city) and had a "CAVE" (Tornado's are a very real in the midwest, a cave or cellar, is well something you have its like well a root cellar but generally not hooked to a house...Kinda for houses that did not have basemants when built....Basically its just a nice hole in the ground to hide in heh this one was very nice and well made by the way).

Wherein she also kept a huge store of everything she had pickled bottled and canned. Tomato juice was a pretty good steal, but Pickled beets now that is a big time score (my childhood fav). So like any slinker worth his salt, i would find myself strangely in possession of small Bell jars full...and of course Have to well eat the evidence.

Now being as the well town was so small I would inevitably run into grandma later.... And the following would play out

Grandma: "damn it 1-cap ( small back then) have you been in my beets again?"

Me looking like a cute innocent puppy : "NOOoooooooo!"

Grandma: "Well you better bring back that jar!"

Then I would go get the hidden jar, and wonder how she always knew....(hint pickled beets well the juice does tend to stain sort of a purple /red i now suspect not only was I red handed (cause i was eating with my grubby little fingers).... Pretty sure I looked like I had a clown smile after each theft)

...........

And a beet of a different sort

This same woman was leaning into a truck Talking to my parents. (she had just been watering the garden when the pulled up) I being the off person I am had picked up the hose (it had one of those gun attachment for different streams) and was well making rainbows spraying the water in a fine mist till that got boring.

Then suddenly possessed by the demons that still haunt me..... I thought it would be a wonderful idea to sneak up on poor grandma (a rather stocky but very heavy woman in a sundress at the time) stick the hose tween her legs and give her a full blast squirt...

So I did................It did not end well...... I fear butterfly shaped flyswatters to this day.... That is what she broke on my butt ( hehe a different time back then but man so worth the beating...

My brother (he's a few years younger than me) and I got into more crap than any parent should rightfully have to endure..



That said..



I was six-ish (my brother was pushing five and the time) and I wanted to get my bike out of the garage. It was automated (where it rolls up towards the ceiling when open) but my dad didn't want us mucking around with the controls in case it would break so I want to manually lift the garage door open. My brother is on the other side with a friend dikeing around, holding onto the garage door handle preventing me from opening it. So I get the remote thingy from the car and press open.



He's still holding onto the garage door handle and because he's an idiot doesn't let go, gets pulled up until he's seemly wedged in between the garage door and the ceiling, and starts screaming his head off.



Out comes my dad, scared as all hell that his kid is being squashed to death, tells my brother not to worry, that he'll close the door slowly and that my brother should slide out accordingly. The thing is, he wasn't being squashed, he had loads of room and as the door starts to roll down he starts crawling forward until he reaches the edge of the garage door, tumbles forward and lands butt first on the roof of the car.



We owned a '70 Impala convertible...





It was my dad's pride and joy.





The Sunday driving car....





Which now had a hole in the roof the size of an-almost-five-year-old kid's ass..







The worst was it didn't end there.. Dad made us come with him to the garage where he was going to have it fixed, and we had to explain to the mechanics how the hole got into the roof.



I can remember one mechanic look at the hole in the car roof and then measure my brothers backside and say "Yep, that's a proper fit all right."

Young Andy and 1-Cap, you two had me literally in tears.

When I was about 5 years old, we lived in a house in the Boston suburbs. My mom's father lived with us for a while before they placed him in a nursing home. He was bed-ridden and had his own room. He also had a stack of National Geographics taller than I was along with a big tin of those horrible hard candies. I was 5, so I didn't know horrible.

I'd sit in there for hours, eating candies and looking through the Geographics for bare-briasted native women from Africa and South America while my grandad lay in bed mumbling and occasionally sending me off to refill his water glass.

Fast forward about 40 years and my mom was reminiscing one day about how I was such a big help to her by keeping her father occupied for long stretches of her day. When I told her about the briasts, she damn near passed out from laughing. That was a feel good day.

One Halloween when I was very young (young enough not to know better) me and my Granpa were carving a jack o'lantern (well mostly Granpa because I wasn't old enough to handle a knife with any kind of dexterity). So he had cut a big chunk of pumpkin out and so my 3 yr old self asked him "Granpa what's this?" holding up the chunk of pumpkin. He replied "it's pumpkin pie. Try some.", and so I did. I pretty much immediately spit it out and Grandpa had a good laugh. Mean guy my Grandpa, lol

my mother used to tell this story all the time.. I was apparently around 5ish, so I don't have any real recollection of it since i was young and that was over 20 years ago, but apparently she took me to a flea market once and there was a lady selling paintings she made. they were sort of out there, almost Picasso style, but good pieces of art.. as my mother was looking at the paintings i apparently tugged on my mothers arm and said "wow mom, shes not very good at coloring inside the lines", the poor lady apparently looked at me in a state of shock while my mother tried to apologize..



nothing is more brutal than a young childs honest opinion

My mom told me that when I was two I dumped a bucket of bleach water on my head. When she took me to the doctor he said "well at least he's sterilized".


Oh and there was the time when I was 5 I played barber and cut all of my 3 year old sister's hair. My mom told me she beat me for cutting her hair and beat her for letting me do it.

My mother told me about this story recently. When I was around 3-4 years old I used to be too small to properly open doors. So we were out on our back porch area eating clams and seafood and my mom said I had eaten my share of the food. So I apparently got up and pointed to the door then asked to enter the house and for her to open the door for me. She got up and walked towards the door expecting that I would follow her. And apparently, when she turned around I was stuffing my face with all the seafood I could grab in the time it took for my mother to walk to the door.


I was a sneaky little 4 year old haha.

I did something similar when I was little but I guess my mom didn't think it warranted a beating, lol

She saved those for more serious transgressions

When I was a kid I discovered suction cups and started trying to stick them everywhere, the last place I stuck one was on my forehead. My older sister was impressed and tried it out too... After a while we took out our cups and there was a perfectly round bruise on the center of our foreheads...


We had also forgotten that we were going to have our school ID pictures taken the following day...



I also have a story about another kid involving me...


Being a toy collector, I frequent toy stores like TRU, so one day while I was browsing with a friend, I felt someone grab my hand and started to pull... I look down and see a very excited kid who was intently looking at something at the other end of the store and trying to drag me, and I guess his dad a little to the side grinning from ear to ear. Kid was apparently too excited to notice that he was holding the wrong hand. I signaled the dad that I'll play along and let the excited kid take me to where he wanted to go, resisting a little every now and then. When we got close to where he wanted to go there was a crowd so I stood my ground. After three attempts of pulling me with both hands he then turned around and he his jaw dropped, having dragged a complete stranger (who's twice as big as his dad) all this time! His dad finally scooped him up and tried to comfort him while laughing out loud, as the kid started bawling like crazy. Me and one of the store people also did our best to help the kid calm down...

One time when I was infant, I drank an entire bottle of dayquil. My parents had to rush me to the hospital where they made me drink ipecac so I would throw it up.

When I was in first grade, I saw several kids standing still in a formation on small rectangle brackets during recess. I thought they were playing a game, so I joined in. Then a recess monitor approached and asked me what I was doing there. It was the 'time out' zone for misbehaving students.

When I was a teenager , I accidentally slipped down a sand dune, not the sandy side but the plant covered side.

The trip appeared to last for longer than the 30 seconds or so it lasted. I halted my descent by reaching out and

grabbing onto something.

I checked myself over and noticed that I was bit dirty but otherwise fine. I went back up to the top of the dune, found

the spot where I had started my slide and repeated the journey!

Were you at the beach?

My friends and I used to take sleeping bags, get inside of them, and slide down the stairs in our old house into the basemant. I remember it was a lot of fun, and if you have a long enough staircase in your future you should try it.


Don't be afraid. The lack of friction is scary, but your butt's protected by the fabric. Just grab onto the front of the bag and lean back for a faster trip. Might want to put some blankets at the bottom just in case.

You guys all all killing me with these stories!

When I was a kid I used to do stupid things because I didn't think things through. One Thanksgiving my dad made his first Turkey, he was so proud. He had deboned what was left of it and had three bowls: white meat, dark meat, bones and waste.


He called me into the kitchen because he was about done and asked me to toss the bone bowl to the dog outside. I picked up the first bowl without really looking at it and asked him, "This one?". Without looking at me my dad said yes, so out the back door I went. I sat the bowl down and the dog happily began to chow down. I was thinking to myself I had never seen a dog eat bones so easily when I heard my dad shout,"NOOOOOOOOO!"


I had grabbed the dark meat bowl. My dad just stood there in disbelief beside me watching the dog eat itself into a happy Thanksgiving coma. He started to laugh and said that at least it didn't go to waste and made someone happy.


I wasn't punished but was told to let it be a lesson to check and be aware of what I was doing.

It was part of the North Cornish Coast. Some of the dunes are quite tall. One side of a dune can be covered in sand and other side in vegetation.

There was a nice beach beyond the dune complex, it was a beach for lying on but not swimming, although there were deep rock pools where your

feet just touched the bottom.

Ok gotcha.

Why didn't I see this thread when it was first posted?!? I've been thinking about this subject for weeks

Mine's not as good as the others' which were wonderful reads, by the way. It is just a simple mistake I made growing up.

You know the TV ads where they are talking about upcoming network shows, and end with the times? In my my area (Central Time Zone) we got the "8:00 PM Eastern, 7:00 PM Central" end tag. For the longest time, I thought that said the shows were 1 hour long. The bad part was that they were usually ads for 1 hour shows

Not hilarious like the others, I realize, but I find myself smiling when I watch TV now

I'll have to think about the trouble my (older) brother and I used to get into....

Quirky, that's actually pretty funny lol.